Hello everyone, I'm writing this as I am in desperate need of suggestions to help make my life more exciting. I am not working at the moment due to not knowing what I want to do, the terrible job market and my own lack of motivation which I have accepted and I'm willing to change.
I have very few hobbies as I just don't seem to hold interest in many things. I've never been sporty and that has greatly limited my will to go outside and socialise with most people due to their obsession with sports (usually football). I draw and sketch a bit mostly but that never forces me to go out so I end up spending the majority of my days, sometimes all of it indoors.
I live in South London, in the city so there are no hills or 'outdoorsy' areas to go and hike or explore which I would happily do if there were some. I'm not very physically active, I do a few press ups and sit ups and work on my punch bag but I never do any running due to my terrible stamina. I'm not overweight or anything, quite the opposite I used to be underweight so physical activity isn't written off.
I guess I'm just looking for any and all suggestions to help get me out of the house and active. Any hobbies that you greatly enjoy I'd love to hear to help me out. Thanks in advance!
You're looking for distractions. OK. But distractions are mere distractions. How about finding what your life should be about, and plunging into it with all you've got?
...and meanwhile, if you still need a distraction (not to focus on, but just as a break in the plunging-into-it), you said "out of the house and active." Maybe think of what you used to like to do in school or otherwise outside the house, and find people who are doing that, and join them.
You're in South London, but (although it's a significant ride) there are beautiful places in West London to hike. You could take that sketching habit to the British Museum, or to St. Paul's, or the other beautiful cathedrals and monuments around the city. Regent's Park. What I know less about is how to get involved with others in your city, which I'm guessing is part of the deal.
Thanks for the reply. Like I said, I'm unsure as to what I want to do job wise and that kind of throws everything out of balance.
During school I was very disconnected, never really fit in due to my lack of excitement when it came to sports and nearly everyone was obsessed. So I used to sketch mostly.
Regarding West London, I have no means of travel besides public transport, which is killer on the wallet. As a young man with no source of income besides odd jobs I can find, an £8 train ticket depletes my funds fairly quickly. I do however like the idea of sketching the buildings and monuments, I'll try to give them a slight twist however for my personal style.
I'll take your desire to get out and your ability to draw or sketch and offer the following suggestion.
Get a map of your city and a Tourist book about it. Take the places to see as places to go and sketch. But don't sketch the items listed in the book, sketch what takes your eye and heart. It could be the people or drainage grills or trash or really anything.
When you have done mark it on your map a place walk somewhere else. Once you have ticked off all the Tourist areas go to the voids between the marks in the map.
As to not knowing your direction, look at what you sketch and what can support you.
I think sketching is probably going to be something I have to further pursue to help get me out of the house more. The only downside to it is I'm very self involved when I draw. I don't like to be part of a group or have others suggest what I draw at the time. I quite enjoy peoples company but when I'm drawing I prefer to be alone.
The root of your query is that you don't have motivation.
In my experience with helping people, men and women, lack of motivation stems from a lack of self worth. People who consider themselves as average, below average; they don't make much of a difference in the world, etc., they don't 'feel' a need to grow, or improve the quality of their lives. And they feel this way because when they get past all the excuses and denial at the bottom of it all they just don't feel that they're worth it. It's too much effort and for what? Who's going to care?
On the other hand, you find someone who does have self worth, well then, they see themselves as a unique individual who takes pride in their skills, talents, character, etc. They aren't full of ego, not at all. But, they do see themselves as worth any effort.
Any experience is like a valued page added to their emotional, or spiritual journal. They don't do things to impress others. They do them to explore new facets of themselves, to achieve a goal, to have fun for funs sake.
You need to change your perspective about yourself. Examine your quality of life. Not just by what material things you may posses, but by how you feed your soul and character. It's it mostly TV, or video games? (rhetorical question) Where's your next vacation taking you? To the beach or on a safari? What about going to France or Italy and just taking random trains to see whats at the next stop?
Do things to impress yourself. I always recommend that people keep a momento of their experiences. Something as simple as a matchbook, card, or napkin from a restaurant to remember a really good meal or a band that was playing. A leaf from taken from the top of a hill with a great view, and so on. Keep them where you can see them. A shadow box, a shelf on the book case, what ever. They're reminders of the moment and inspire you to want to do more.
I could suggest that you join a Parkour club, a runners group, take up boxing, or something way on the edge like exploring the old tunnels under London, but if, at your core, don't believe yourself to be worth it, you'll forever be wondering what to do with yourself and never finding an answer your satisfied with.
I hate to give a short answer to such a lengthy response but the weird thing is, I've never felt like I'm not worth it. I've always accepted my strengths and weaknesses but I've just found it hard to find interest in things. This then causes me to become sheltered away due to lack of motivation to go out and do something I probably won't enjoy. I'm also money conscious and tend to never waste money especially on travel unless I have to.
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
What are you interested in? What do you fill your time doing? What do you watch? What do you read?
If you feel like you are worth it, then great because many do not. But the real key here is finding why your are not interested in "things". Or perhaps finding the real things you ARE interested in. Are you interested but scared to be social?
I would reccomend taking up writing.You don't necessarily have to write essays or longer pieces of fiction, even a journal is a good vessel for your thoughts and can help you get thigns straight.
Perhaps take up learning a foreign language? (if you don't speak one already that is.)
I always reccomend fencing as a hobby. You can get yourself into great shape with this activity, and it can be a thrilling and cerebral sport. Most salles will set you up with loaner equipment for a while in your begginer stage, so you won't have to worry too much about investing in weapons, masks, ect. right away.
If you play, or would like to learn to play chess, that can be a great way to get out of the house and do things. Look into local clubs, and that can help you get out of the house and meet some new folks as well. Best of luck,
That is incredibly strange. All of those things I have been contemplating or wanted to do. I was debating today whether to venture out and buy a journal to write in daily. I've always wanted to learn Japanese and various other languages but never known where to start.
I looked into fencing just a few days ago and found there was a fencing club at the local school which is a 2 minute walk from me, in fact, I can see it from my bedroom window.
As for chess, I've always had an interest to learn but no one to play against so I may have to try and locate a club near me. Thanks for the response, they all seem to appeal to me some way or another.
(Regarding fencing, I'm a bit nervous due to complete lack of sport in my background, is it hard to pick up?)
Glad to be of service. You seem like a thoughtful guy, and in a stagnate environment it's easy to let the doldrums get to you. I believe you'll feel better when you get your mind moving.
I like a medium size notebook for journal writing, something that's big enough not to cramp your hand writing in, but small enough that you can stuff it into a coat pocket and take with you. Hard covers keep your pages in better shape, but are a pain to cart around.
I know Asian languages can be extremely difficult due to their complex alphabets, but dilligence and a knockoff rosetta stone can help alot. I've always loved French, and learned some Spanish, but my attempts to figure out Russian ended in a rout because of that gnarly alphabet.
If and when you begin fencing, you'll likely start off with the foil. It is not difficult to pick up, but it offers the most to learn. Your footwork and weapon control are learned there, and if you pay attention and are enthusiastic you'll soon get into the swing of things. Remember to have fun and that any time you lose, you have an opportunity to learn something.
I would probably carry a smaller notebook around for 'jotting' and then have a main journal at home. On the language front, I luckily don't get too stuck with pronunciation so that makes things easier. I just have to work out a solid plan toward learning a new language. Regarding fencing, I'm pretty sure I will take it up and see how I do, I'm going to go in with an open learning attitude towards it and take every loss as an experience.
I am seeing this more frequently here in the US too. Young adults seem to be struggling with apathy mostly because of the fact that opportunities that were available to their parents just aren’t there for them. It is very understandable to puzzle over which direction to go in life when most of them seem to lead nowhere.
My first suggestion would have been to seek work, even if modestly paid, in an area you are excited about but as you said you don’t know where that is yet I’ll go with this: I’d suggest looking for something that helps others. Generally speaking working in service to others will increase your satisfaction with your own life. It typically isn’t exciting but at the end of the day you’ll be surprised about how you feel your life has meaning.
Just out of curiosity, how are you paying our bills now? You say you are unemployed but I assume you still have expenses.