I was wondering if anyone here could help me. I once read an article on AoM (I'm pretty sure it was) about how to behave and act to gain more respect from your friends and the people around you.
There's very little I can recall from the article. I think though there was some tip about when you start talking to group of people you should not turn your front directly at them at first, instead you should wait for them to turn their front at you... don't know if this helps anyone remembering the article.
But if anyone remembers it or some article of this sort it would be much appreciated :)
Thank you, but that's actually not the article I have in mind :/
Respect is not about playing tricks on your friends and coworkers. It's simpler than that, but goes deeper as well.
Respect is demanded.
Respect is earned.
And no, those are not mutually exclusive.
You see, the easiest way to get someone to respect you is to behave as a person they should and would respect. It's just that simple.
Turning your head, looking them in the eye only after they speak to you, never initiating, etc...those are tricks to reinforce your position in a social hierarchy. And, it has to do with the "alpha male" stuff.
Alpha males are often able to demand respect, but it's more an issue of deference than actual respect. But a lot of alphas are great people, too, who are in positions of authority, so the respect they get through deference evolves into something more genuine.
So, what is your goal? Are you wanting respect? Or are you wanting to rise in the social hierarchy?
If you want to live in a world of respect, give it out. Be a blessing to those around you and they will bless you for it. If you want to be honored, honor those around you (including yourself); and be honorable.
There may also be some tricks to get deference, as Chuck mentions.
Here is another one of my little sayings:
"When you give excellence, you can demand excellence."
However, your level of excellence may not be the same as those around you and you must be able to determine that level. If you give and do not receive it, those people are out. It also goes along with:
"I am by far more concerned with my opinion of others, than their opinion of me."
That sounds a bit elitist but you have to understand this point of view. I want to attract and have the best around me. It helps me do better for myself and to help others. I may not be able/have knowledge/tools but I know someone that does. If I do not "keep the best" I will "loose the best".
I can't help with the article, because I haven't read it, but this is bad advice:
I think though there was some tip about when you start talking to group of people you should not turn your front directly at them at first, instead you should wait for them to turn their front at you
Turn directly to anyone you are talking to. That's the belly-button rule. Your belly button should be turned towards the group. Be like Bill Clinton (in social manners, not life choices), not like Hillary. Acting haughty will not get you respect.
Lock eyes with anyone you are talking to. A little more intensely than you probably feel comfortable doing, but in a friendly, engaging (not challenging please that will get you into fights) way. Give your full attention and respond to what people say.
It's easier to say what not to do. Are you familiar with neurotic mannerisms? Nervous habits, over-reactions to things that happen to you, jerky movements, being overly responsive ("oh, yes, please please please, yes indeedy yes!" or "ohhhh, groan, no, no, can't stand the stuff, gives me hives, no, please no!), being overly eager for approval, mumbling (something people often do when nervous), overly-guarded body-language (eg crossing your arms or legs, curling up like a shrimp, holding your arms too close to your body especially for a man), exaggerating, whining, being too quick to answer (especially without even thinking), stammering, and so on.
Don't do those things.
But those are only the symptoms. The cause is being nervous and "needy". Be calm and "feel comfortable in your own skin". Act like you own the place, but in the sense of a charming, gracious host not an insufferable boor.