How does one settle one’s mind from how life worked out vs how you thought it would go?

I have hit the point in my career that I have to wait for people to retire to advance in my company.  I grew up thinking I would career climb.  However working in a wide flat org structure has created the situation where I cannot advance.  Work / life balance is overall good.  40 hours a week, 10-20 min commute, 2 weeks off in the winter + 2 weeks leave.  Okay medical and a decent old fashioned real pension plan (Top 3 years * 2% * Years worked).

So I’m looking at 25 more years at the same position.  I know that is the way it is for many but I’m trying to settle my mind to it.  Honestly I was working and focused on work + getting a second masters.  Now that that focus is done I’m feeling scared for my son’s future and feeling a failure/trapped. 

We have our son in a Catholic School for k-8, but don’t have a good solution for High School. 

I never expected to stay in the state.  I expected to move to the West Coast. 

My wife is fine wherever she can find work and is doing great.  I’m feeling trapped with a house, a concern about my son’s future and trying to build a good life for my family. 

Thoughts of worry and feeling a failure has had me really mentally messed up. 

How does one settle one’s mind from how life worked out vs how you thought it would go?

How does one quite one’s mind?

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Oh, incidentally, all humans have what I call "Situational Disability." For instance, for most humans, when the power goes out at night, they are visually disabled if they have no candles or light sources. On the other hand, naked mole rats have zero visual disability in their environment. If a building is built well, a person with no legs has zero disability in that building as s/he can access any area needed, but in the next building over, due to the poor design, the same person may have a severe problem accessing areas in the building. It's the ENVIRONMENT, not the human, which causes the disability.

For those with a visual processing condition such as Dyslexia, if the instructor presents material in multiple formats, and allows the student multiple ways to access the curriculum, often there is no learning disability in that environment.

Thanks great points.  I should have said the reason I know my son has a 60% shot at learning disabilities is because I have them, Dyslexia and ADD.  So we are looking for them but also trying not to jump to the idea that he does have it.  Its a balance.  You sit there going is that a symptom or an age / developmental point?

I am stressed that he is 8 in first grade.  They held him back in kindergarten because he was not emotionally ready to handle the stress of the private catholic school.  But he is thriving and we have him in cub scouts with his age group.  He is doing fine.

I think allot of my system shock is I got done climbing a hard road.  Master in Information Systems with a cs minor in computer security.  I ended up with a 4.0 and completed in December.  I'm feeling both accomplished and locked in.

Oysters many good and yet not quite comfortable with where I am at.  In the last month I have realized we are doing better then most.  Its not perfect, nor does it match the fiction popular media shows but, yes better then most.  We have things to work on and dreams to break down into goals and metrics.

Maybe you could find a new job on the West Coast? I know that's easier saying than doing, but you could always just keep an eye out. In the mean time just do your best.... or kill the old people. The choices are endless! (jk) 

Yep that is about the plan.   Keep kicking tail at work and keep an eye for possibilities.

You got a lot on your plate bud. Have u tried smoking medical mary j? It will bring you right back in the present and then you can make proper decisions.

Stop fussing and count your blessings.  You have a lot of them. Employment with a good work/life balance, excellent pension plan, a wife who's supportive, and a child in elementary school.  Your home location vis a vis work isn't bad either...

all in all, better than a lot of people have it.

You want to know what's a pretty cruddy term of employment?

Try the entire job function of Charles, Prince of Wales.  His job is literally waiting for his Mom to die.

Be compassionate bro - life is not easy - I wish I can give further advice to the brotha but having a kid is on a different level - I is going through the same stuff - minus the kid - plus job is in limbo - wifey is doing weird shit - like today my over started throwing out all kinds of smoke and I wante to make sure that's the first thing she learns about - just to keep her safe right - and after I told her, she's like yeah it was doing it yesterday as well - I was like wtf!!! Why you didn't warn me - shit could have blown up on my face !!!! What the hell!!! So I freaked out n left the apartment and am sitting in the library typing up this message - sayin . . .


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