Hi everyone. So as you can probably tell from the title, I'm not great with women. I'm 27 and I've had very little experience with the opposite sex and in those instances it's always been the woman who initiated things. I did get a girls' number a few months ago which was terrifying, but she was a barmaid and I did have to have a fair few number of drinks before I worked up the courage to ask. 

Anyway, there's a girl who works at my local cinema. I've seen her several times but only recently discovered that she's single. Based on some old fashioned Facebook stalking I know she's around the same age and shares my geeky love for books and movies. We have spoke a couple of times but only fleetingly and I doubt I left much of an impression beyond being a charming customer. I want to ask her out for a coffee but from what I've read online, a lot of girls find it creepy being chatted up by complete strangers, particularly at a workplace where they may find it embarrassing in front of others.

So I need a bit of help. Should I work my way into it, speak to her a couple of times and then ask her? Or should I just go for it?

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"from what I've read online, a lot of girls find it creepy being chatted up by complete strangers, particularly at a workplace where they may find it embarrassing in front of others."...

Disabuse yourself of that quote above....women want to meet men, men want to meet women. You have the right to talk to someone and they want you to talk to them. Women find it creepy when creepy men try to "talk" to them with...your intention is that you want to get to know her because you think she is cute, not stalk her and save clippings of her toe nails.

I would highly suggest you get more experience and stop focusing on the one or two women you find attractive. You current goal, which should occur in baby steps is just talking to people, then women, then women you find attractive etc. You need to be a social person, not only when you are sexually interested in someone...and you can't do that when those people scare you.

Check out my book, The Essentials (http://www.amazon.com/The-Essentials-Mr-Benjamin-Ritter/dp/0615596886) for a jump start and continual reminders in this field of internal development and social dynamics...look up Art of the Seduction by Robert Caldini and Magic Bullets for core strategy that you will hopefully grow out of...and then listen on iTunes to the Suave Lover podcast, which can also be found at www.suavelover.com/podcast and the Art of Charm podcast also on iTunes.

You want to be action oriented but you also need some specific steps to act...that's why I recommend this material. One more thing...have three opinion questions you can use to start chatting up someone you are interested in that have to do with your life. For example, "what do you think about people that go to the movies alone"...? follow up.....segway into other places, like "it's not like going to a coffee shop, I mean let's say we go there tomorrow...etc etc..

"...but from what I've read online"

You don't have to believe everything you read on the internet. Just give it a shot it is going to be a beneficial experience for you either way. 

Hi,

"from what I've read online, a lot of girls find it creepy being chatted up by complete strangers, particularly at a workplace where they may find it embarrassing in front of others."...

Other day I was discussing it with two friends, a woman and a man. We were talking about the new discussions on feminism that defend that it's rude to woo women on the street.

I was trying to state that saying things as "hey, cute" and other straightforward sexually stuff really is. However, I guess that engaging in a conversation on a public place such as a store, a bookshop, which could get to the end of getting a date, wouldn't. At a point I said that otherwise we should expect that the women should carry a sign allowing strangers talking to them or that we should have special places for that. My friend said that we have - bars, clubs etc - but than I defended that some men and women don't go to these places.

As for myself, I am not a very outgoing person, so I rarely start a conversation with stranger, either a man or a woman, attractive or not. But I don't get bothered when someone start a conversation with me in a respectable way at all.

Personally, any guy that asked for my number was getting Dr. Mom's.  Too many stories about crazies who won't stop calling.  The guys who said, "Here's my number if you'd like to get coffee sometime" usually did get a call.

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