How Did You Behave in School? How has that Behavior Been Instructive in Later Years?

Were you generally well behaved in school or did you enjoy raising some hell? What got you in trouble? What sort of discipline did you receive? Did you think boys were treated rougher  than girls?

As you have grown up how have your experiences or the repercussions  thereof , taught you? Have they helped you in any way with siblings or your own children?

Stein

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I can't answer very well for the latter because I'm still a junior in high school, but here's my two cents:

I've always been in trouble at school. A lot of it just talking in class, and a good bit of it was fighting/general horseplay. Lots of detentions and suspensions, but nothing serious. Like I said, almost all just talking and horseplay. It's done nothing but make it harder to stop myself from doing the same things now. I talk a lot when I shouldn't, like to hit things when I get mad, and have a short temper. Discipline has lost it's effects on me, which makes it easier to behave wrongly or not do school work, since I don't have the fear of discipline. If I could redo it, I would be the kid that never got in trouble and tried his hardest in school all the time, simply because I know that I'd have a much easier time in high school and life in general at this point. 
Second semester of last year, I had 26 detentions. Not much in the grand scheme of things, but a lot for the private school that I now attend. This year, between the two semesters, I've had two detentions. What happened? A girlfriend who I started dating last may, who has a strict grandpa who wouldn't let us date if my grades dropped and I was in trouble. It's hard to make myself work at all in school, and a killer to keep my mouth shut in class. Again, I'd have a much easier time if I behaved all along, though I don't mind putting the extra effort in for her.

***

The male/female thing, males were always treated much worse in elementary school. As I got into middle/high where we had more male teachers, treatment was closer to the same.

Well behaved, but not healthily so.

From description of school shrink: "somewhat timid", as they sent me to see her because I was not doing well.

I saw no difference in the ways the sexes were treated, the nuns bashed both equally.

Yes, my overall experience has molded how I perform today as an adult and as a parent, I'm sure for ways both good and bad. 

my earlier years in school i was quite timid, shy and nerdy. I always kept to myself. I think that had a lot to do with my step moter working in the school district. As I progressed in later years of school and my defience with my parents came along (as all teenagers do,) I stoped giving a fuck. I cared about my school work sure had a-b's on my grades so I did ok. by the time I was a senior in high school(2011) I went to class 3 times my senior year. I finished  3rd in my class but by this time I had already enlisted, so i didnt care about college. I had all the classes i needed to graduate after my jr year, so i sat and played guitar in the hallway and snuck to see my girlfriend in the empty classrooms. i went to a private Christian academy, and i wasnt the good kid. i got in trouble, but i got alot of talks from the headmaster. and that was about it. That summer i learened real quick how to behave down at Parris Island. in the Marines, i can tell you that the men are treated a lot rougher than the wemon. i have no close siblings and noo children of my own so i couldnt tell you anything about that.

1)  Within the structure of the school environment I was withdrawn and uninvolved, though I did throw myself into the academics.

 

With regards to interacting with the other kids, they were basically irrelevant to my life, and were informed of such.

 

I did enjoy correcting the teachers, textbooks, and administrators.  I considered it somewhat of a sport.

 

2)  Looking back, I wish I had paid attention in PE class...having to learn to exercise after age 40, and that's hard.  The rest was, and remains mostly irrelevant, and was more of an impediment than a help.

 

3)  I have no siblings or children, so I can't help you there.

I was a daydreamer, so even though I didn't really pay attention in school, no one noticed and I didn't get in trouble. More male students got in trouble than female students when I was in middle and high school and it was for things like fighting, vandalism, and being stupid enough to bring drugs to school.

At home, I don't remember any of us getting into serious trouble. Our parents talked to us like adults and treated us as individuals, so there wasn't much to rebel against.

My siblings and I all take a similar approach to parenting that we were raised with and it seems to work for our families. My siblings' kids range in age from late teens to early 30s and they're all decent, productive people--everyone is employed or in school. None of them were troublemakers at any point, and so far, my kids seem to be the same (or else they've been too smart to get caught).

If I didn't like the class or the teacher, I was a complete and total shit.

If I didn't care either way, I was a wall flower.

If I liked the class or the teacher, I was a total brown noser.

 

6th -8th I played football at school and we had strict discipline reports. Fail it, you got a lick or they PT'ed the hell out of you. It took 2 PT sessions and I was cured while in that program.

 

9th and 10th grades were really bad for me. I had one teacher(electronics) take me to a closet and threaten to kick my ass, spent the rest of the semester at in-school suspension then moved to debate where I had a blast and enjoyed the teacher and class. The electronics teacher could have taken 4 seconds to listen to me when I repeatedly told him I couldn't see the colors on the resistors and couldn't do the projects. He wouldn't let people help me, and kept trying to fail me, so I acted out, horribly. 9th grade honors english, teacher only liked the females and couldn't engage the guys in the books. I acted out horribly and got kicked out of honors. 10th grade the teacher spent the whole year trying to figure out why I was in regular english and would give me extra work just to keep me busy and out of trouble.

 

About the time I got to Sr High school(just Junior and Senior year in HS), I had started to grow up. Acting out hadn't gotten me anywhere and I was learning that it wasn't worth it. If I stayed engaged, I would stay in the better classes where the teachers actually cared. When they cared, I cared. That isn't to say that I wasn't still a teenage boy absolutely attracted to trouble, I just learned to be a bit smarter about it.

 

Thinking about it now, esp in regards to my current schooling and what we are learning I think keeping people engaged is a huge thing. If you have employees, they are going to care more with the more that you keep them in the loop and feeling like they are working for something worthwhile. We have all lived that or known people that have been in situations where they don't care anymore. They will act out, the work will suffer.

 

No kids yet, I can only hope that they aren't as much of a little shit as I was, and even if so, I can recognize what it is going on.

"Thinking about it now, esp in regards to my current schooling and what we are learning I think keeping people engaged is a huge thing. If you have employees, they are going to care more with the more that you keep them in the loop and feeling like they are working for something worthwhile. We have all lived that or known people that have been in situations where they don't care anymore. They will act out, the work will suffer."

That's true to my experience as well. Keeping people invested in the learning or the work is crucial.

When I think about how I learned in school, much of it was self-directed. The teachers were often too busy trying to settle down the class or repeating material over and over for the kids who weren't getting it, leaving the rest of us to our own devices. When I cared about a subject, I immersed myself in it, reading as much as I could or researching it. That paid off later on because that is exactly what was expected of me in grad school and on the job. I didn't realize it then, but I was teaching myself how to do research and critical analysis, skills that I still use on a daily basis.

I grew up isolated from other kids in my class at school. My mother and father were both a few years older, than the parents of many my classmates. They lived in an isolated neighborhood away from any of my peers in school. The upshot was that social skills and relationships with other kids at school was not always the greatest. By high school, I lost any steam and energy for mischief parents, who were very protective, kept me from even trying to run around with others, gave only skeptical approval of girlfriend, and struggled to keep me focused on something in school and interested enough in learning to graduate from college. Subjects where I got straight A's for the year changed annually one year . . . social studies and art, next year English and science, followed by math, etc. Parents were perplexed by such inconsistency, but in retrospect I can see those were the classes where I had a teacher who clicked, positively connected me, and gave stimulating material.

Academic inconsistency subsided in college. I competed required Freshman and Sophomore year classes and thereafter got to pick the classes taught by those professors, who I liked and respected me. Amazed parents when I wound up graduating with honors and majored in multiple subjects, including Spanish, which I had dropped back in high school!


For grade school I went to new modernistic elementary and jr. high buildings, both constructed in early 1970's. These schools featured wide open areas called "pods" or "team rooms" where three to five teachers would simultaneously be conducting separate classes in
the various "learning centers" around the one large room! Only classes needing special equipment, such as: art, music, science, home economics, typing etc. got separate rooms. Meanwhile, the teachers for: reading, math, English, social studies, etc. all simultaneously conducted separate classes in the aforementioned large open rooms. I remember quite well that it was very easy when your class was dull and uninteresting to zone out, gawk around over at the chalkboards and bulletin boards around in some adjoining spaces, and listen in to what teacher and class were doing in the neighboring section of the building. For example, I recall in the second grade watching third graders learn cursive script writing, so started copying and picked it up a year before it was ever introduced and officially taught to us. On the flip side initial interest and excellent grades in band and music waned during jr. high as students struggled to play together and semester test and grade depended on playing dull scales and arpeggios. At home, of course, I could listen to pop songs the radio and by ear and intuition parrot the melody and improvised accompaniment back on the piano.


I'll admit that the innovative educational ideas espoused in the architecture and design of those school buildings may have merit for very young children in kindergarten and first grade in encouraging them to learn by exploring the world. However, in retrospect I feel that students in the upper grades need a more rigorous structure and less chaotic environment. It is hard to concentrate on tests or tedious assignments, like diagraming sentences with two to three other classes in progress at the same time

My period of "bad behavior" occurred during jr. high and was combination of several factors. My effort to get some attention from classmates none of them lived near my family's home for me to socialize with outside of school. Having extra time for horseplay in classes where I was doing well and not caring if I distracted classmates. As well as not paying attention pay attention.

I never came close to being referred to the office. The principal and assistant principal only dealt with egregious behavior, skipping school, for which parents would be contacted and student would be put on "probation" (i.e., held back in previous grade for so many weeks) or "suspended" from school for so many days, etc.

Instead the different teachers dealt with me individually on their own. My offenses consisted of pesky behavior: talking during class, horseplay, etc. and for several classes the punishment was the grade, which would have been a letter higher if I had put in more effort. I remember getting a few detentions and being required to stay forty minutes after school until 4:00 in the afternoon usually for talking during class.

Even though school building and instructional concepts were new, several teachers for upper grades still found the old fashioned wooden paddle a handy tool. I remember a few times being escorted off into an adjacent conference room and upon prompt recruitment of another teacher as a witness being given a swift hard "swat" on the rear end. The paddles fashioned from long wooden boards were about the size of a cricket bat, shaped like mini boat oars. They usually had several holes drilled in them to make them more aerodynamic. Teachers after having you stoop over and put hands on ankles, would swing the paddle around in a arc and deliver a stinging slap across the lower buttocks.
>>Were you generally well behaved in school or did you enjoy raising some hell?br />
I was always the good boy. Quiet, well-mannered, always followed stated rules, always trying to please.

>>What got you in trouble?

Teachers don't necessarily like "good kids"; they like kids who are engaging, who make them feel important. I was not that kid, being too introverted and "in my own head". Most teachers disliked me.

>>What sort of discipline did you receive?

In school almost none. Did get a fair amount of criticism but it was not disciplinary in nature.

I was beaten in "nursery school". That was not disciplinary either. The perpetrator had some sort of personality disorder going on. If I had to guess I was being beaten for something I wasn't doing for her or giving her. She abused both boys and girls, the boys physically and the girls verbally. She was the type you see on nanny cams posted on youtube.

>>Did you think boys were treated rougher than girls?

Yes.

>>As you have grown up how have your experiences or the repercussions thereof , taught you?

I had forgotten about the criticism until you asked about discipline, which brought up the poor relationship I had with many of my teachers. I have a feeling the experiences made me hungry for approval. I've gotten over that, thankfully.

>>Have they helped you in any way with siblings or your own children?

Probably in a negative sense. I wanted my kids to have the happy childhood I didn't. Unfortunately, it only taught me what NOT to do. :(

I would say that I behaved a lot better in my older years being in school. Considering I still am in school I can only comment on what I have been through so far. In grade school I was pretty well behaved. I was shy, and I didn't start getting any form of popularity until I was in 6th grade, when the boys found out I could play football pretty well. I guess if I wasn't so shy and introspective it would have been easier to relate to the other kids. But I grew up a lot faster, I would still take different roads than the others did but I can't really have regrets about those.

I never got detention although at St.Monicas the nuns treated the girls way better than the boys, which is why I never got on the whole Church oppresses woman wagon, I've been there and it just doesn't happen. When I got into high school I never listened, and I barely passed high school, my behavior suffice to say was not as mature as it should have been , we had a lot of cliques and I never really knew which one I took to, I thought making the path yourself was the way to go, so I always ended up attracting to me the misfits. Which really wasn't good for me. I wish in that regard I would have knew what was really important. As I have grown I can't tell you how blessed I am to have had the experiences that I have had. I Lerner to appreciate what I was doing and the teachers who taught me. I wouldn't really say that I had to find myself, the person I am was always there but I just didn't listen. I never knew what a gift Faith was, I was just unaware of what I had going for me, but it's different now. But I'm still learning, one never really stops. finding things out the way I found them out goes a long way into teaching kids. I don't have siblings so I can only hope to teach my close friends.

I suppose the beginning and end of the story is that most of my high school teachers were invited to my wedding, though part of that is that my father now works there. I liked (like) my teachers; and they like me.

People talk a lot about how school is nothing like the proverbial real world in terms of how people are evaluated (e.g., clear assignments and regular tests v. general business goals and infrequent performance reviews). But I muse often about less obvious aspects of school and work. Precisely following the rules was rewarded, and never punished, in school. I feel like at work, knowing when to interrupt, or when it might be OK to turn something in late, or shrugging off the strictures of anti-discrimination consultants, can put you ahead. In other words, worklife doesn't always reward the personality traits school does.

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