I'm working on a blog that provides help for husbands and fathers who take on these frightening responsibilities before age 25. I want to offer insights and tips, not exactly Art of Manliness stuff, but definitely linked.
Anyway, I'd love to have some guest posts from other men who married early. Check out the site at skippingbachelorhood.wordpress.com if you're interested.
I'd especially like to hear from guys who could offer their stories or practical advice. Please let me know if you'd be interested. Thanks!
Not sure I have that much advice, but I am 23 and married (got married a little after my 22nd birthday). I'll think about it and post sometime later (when I'm not at work).
I appreciate it, Joseph. Just give me a shout if you're interested. Even hearing stories of other guys who got married early is good for people to hear; it validates the whole system for a lot of people.
I was married at 23, and I'm still married now, at 49 (to the same woman, by the way). I'd love to help.
That's awesome, Todd, thanks! I'll message you with more details.
Not sure how age makes the difference.
Good point. The basic idea is that culture is set up for men who marry/begin fatherhood later, so younger husbands and fathers like me feel a lot of pressure to keep up with wealthier, more experienced men when it comes to taking care of our families. We don't have the monetary resources that people who marry later tend to, and a lot of people in mainstream culture treat people who marry early with a condescending manner.
There are organizations set up in a few states as well as in Britain to help young men figure out all this stuff that's usually reserved for five to ten years later, but there's not a whole lot of basic information that's easy for anyone to access. That's the idea. Does that make sense?
I think there is a 'window', if you will. I married fairly late (first time) and included were two children. So I was an older bachelor who ended up with an immediate family and all the joys and troubles that go along with a family.
I'm also not sure its just about the money aspects but about the maturity to handle what will occur between you, your spouse, and your child. There are a lot of 'older' (late 20s to 30s) men who don't have a lot of monetary resources at their disposal either.
Some good thoughts, for sure. The idea of the blog is to help guys develop that maturity--not just get cash! I was 21 when I got married, and I thought I was fairly mature, but I learned about a day into the honeymoon how far off I was. So instead of telling guys they're too young and dooming their marriage with statistics, it seems better to provide resources to help out.
OK: lack of respect, lack of maturity, and to a lesser degree, lack of money. Thank you: I get it now.
You might get posts that are helpful on the first two of these from men who did not marry young as well.
I hadn't thought of that. That's a great angle, and I'll definitely be looking out for men who might be interested. Thanks for your help, Will!
I think this is a great idea and I'd love to help. I was married at 22. I completely understand what you refer to as the challenges of skipping bachelorhood. Financial, cultural, etc. I have 4 kids at age 34 and I get funny looks all the time. I attended (and finished) law school and began a career while starting a family. Let me know what topics you might be looking for and I'd love to help.
Stellar. I'll send you a message with specs. Thanks, man.