Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Will on January 16, 2013 at 11:15pm

I could certainly bring it up in my MKP I-group.  Bigger churches may have a bereaved men's group.  Online?  I could only Google.  Good luck with it.

Permalink Reply by Cody on January 17, 2013 at 1:15am

Thanks Will, I appreciate it. I've been meaning to look into MKP myself...it sounds like a good experience

Permalink Reply by Dennis Kennedy on January 17, 2013 at 8:41am

Cody -- my girlfriend and I went through this last year. I experienced the same problems with websites. The sites make it seem as though only women suffer from a miscarriage. I bottled up so much pain, and even hatred inside of me for a long time.

I pretty much had to deal with it on my own, because I was not ablout to put my grieving on top of all of the suffering my girlfriend was dealing with, and nobody in my circle of family and friends would ever understand what I was going through, as they've never experienced it before.

What people need to realize is that even though the man is not physically going through it, the pain he feels is numbing. The worst part for me was that my only job as the man in her life, and as the father of this child was to protect them, and someone horrible was happening to both and I could do nothing about it. I felt absolutely helpless. Like I was a failure at my only real job -- to protect my family.

I'd be happy to discuss it with you in a private e-mail conversation if you'd like. I can tell you what we did, and how I've been able to come to terms with what happened.

Permalink Reply by JimmyRustles on January 19, 2013 at 12:44am

It's absolutely normal to grieve for something so close to you, but I think you might be alone on this one, any forums would go straight for comforting the mother, biologically it's a bigger loss for her and she'd take a harder impact from the loss.