So I've been trying to kick the blues for about a year and at the same time return to the "roots" as prescribed here on AOM. Trying to figure out what makes me feel anxious and unhappy and realized a big part of that was Facebook. Between the obsessive checking for one of those "red notifications" (like hitting a meth pipe!), to comparing myself to other people's lives and accomplishments, to having over 300 "friends" of which about 30 I ever hung out with....had to get rid of it. Plus dealing with my ex's friend requests, messages, etc. Block her and I hear from her mom on facebook. So it had to go. Seems some other folks on AOM have gotten rid of their facebook for similar reasons. Sure I'll miss knowing what people are up to, and might be late to hearing about big events or getting invited to things, but figured if someone matters to me enough either I'll them or they'll call me. Or hell even email. Crazy as it sounds, facebook made me feel even more disconnected and lonely. My next step is getting rid of my smartphone. I find myself going to it addictivley when I get bored or have time to kill. Almost always unproductive. I'll miss being able to google information when I need it, the driving directions (standalone nav system replaces that), and internet radio. Todo lists are cool too but can be done on paper. Plus the phone sucks up so much battery. Think going back to a flip phone like the good ole days will let me focus on real-world things that really matter. Plus the battery life!! How many times I've been stranded without a phone because my smartphone dies so quickly, no matter how long I charge it at night or the morning and even with new battery.
Going to simplify the digital stuff so I can focus on the real world!!
A big step, and for you a good step.
Sent from my black, rotary dial vintage 1949 with two party lines telephone.
I would rethink that smartphone thing.
What you need to work on is your reliance and how you rely on tools rather than just throwing out the tool. As you stated, the smartphone as a tool has many functions that a man can use daily. If you throw it out because you can't handle it, you didn't get a handle on yourself and that is what is most important
Shieldes is right. I have an Android phone but I didn't sign up for the data plan so I only use the net at home when connected to my wifi. I have the ability to get directions when I get my self turned around or a wreck shuts down the freeway (favorite Houston pastime). My phone also has facebook capability but I will never connect my account with my phone.
My smart phone has replaced my alarm clock because I can set a Monday-Friday alarm and other alarms the only occur once per month. There are many good things that smart phones allow or help you do.
Yeah. It would be much better if you learned to control yourself and keep this nonsense in perspective instead of just trashing it completely. Discipline is a tough lesson, but one worth learning.
But, if you can't manage to control yourself ... it is better to throw it out than to be consumed by it.
I agree. And with FB too, though it's an easy target and timewaster.
Just this weekend I had someone approach me downtown; "are you Carl?" she asked.
Turned out she ran the town business FB page and knew me from my comments.
We chatted warmly; I have a new friend! But more importantly, in case I get laid off I have a valuable new contact to network with for a job search.
FB is just a tool, it's up to us how we use it.
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
Or perhaps a workman who realizes he's using the wrong tools.
I completely understand using a smartphone computer if your job demands it (in which case it is a tool), but our culture is getting to a place where everyone's got one for casual use (in which case it's a toy).
How many other substitutions could be made?
Don't blame advances in technology for lack of personal responsibility.
Some of us have addictive behaviors that can only be controlled by abstaining completely from their influence on our lives. Abstention can be for a short time all the way up to a lifetime in order to escape the devastation these behaviors bring to one's life. Self-control may not be possible except for total severance from any participation in the activity. Call me a man who is weak, but I would rather admit my weakness, toss the behavior for ever, and then get on with living. For me, none of this can be done in solitary living but only in the midst of a band of brothers.
I am weak and that's why I'm getting rid of the phone. I know I'm blaming the tools but at the same time it's my weakness. Impulse control. I've also quit smoking cold turkey. I relized I couldn't have a beer and a few smokes...it would always transfer to a pack. Plus the smartphone has died so often and left me without access to it's main function on being a phone that it seems almost useless to have all the other crap. I long for the days when the phone was just a phone...and text messaging. When we go out it seems like everyone takes a ton of "smartphone breaks" of looking at their phones when we should all be conversing instead.
I am so old cause this makes me hang my head.
"I long for the days when the phone was just a phone...and text messaging".
Cause when I think of longing for days it was when we left the house without cellphones at all. There was no such thing as a text message. Hell, we didn't even have caller ID