I am turning 21 soon and these guys from work want to take me to a strip club or some drinks or something. thing is that i dont trust one of them nor do i like him... at all. the other one i like fine and trust him more. i cant drink alcohol at all due to some meds im taking right now and im perfectly ok with that. i dont care to drink and never really have. if i tell those guys that i cant drink due to meds they will make fun of me i know it so i dont want to tell them. nor do i care to go to a strip club. no im not gay either. lol i was just raised in a christian home where i was taught to not look at naked women or have sexual relations with one before marriage. i do want to (what guy doesn't?) but i think seeing a girl naked should be for a guy and his girlfriend. not just any random girl. same thing with sex. it shouldnt be just for fun. if it were only for fun they wouldnt call it love making. i think you should love a girl immensely before having sex. i know this may seem totally wacked out and like taboo to most guys but i dont really care. thats just how i am. anyway... the thing im trying to say is how do i tell them i dont want to hang with them? i dont like or trust one of them and i dont want to drink or do typical 21st birthday stuff. i would like to go to a country bar and just hang there because i havent been to one here in town. and i am going to do that but with a friend thats not from work. the guys at work wont want to go to one so i dont think i will even suggest it. 

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seems like you have a plan already. just tell your two buddies "it's my birthday and we'll do want i want." doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. when they make fun of you or call you names, just shrug at them and repeat "it's my birthday, and what i want is to go hang out at a country bar." there's strength in confidence. good luck.

This.  Don't give them explanations and assert yourself, because... dude, it's YOUR birthday, not theirs :) .


It's polite, yet shows you are independent and don't need to go with the crowd to be happy. The "you're welcome to join." is the courteous way to let them know its not personal and their company is welcome.




Shane nailed it.

Stick to your guns and tell them that you won't go to a strip club - and don't pussyfoot around your reasons.  If it were me trying to get you to do something, and you disagreed on moral grounds, I would be likely to respect you more than I would have if you just went along.

Total early manly test...do you follow your peers....or lead them?

I'm good at that.



i thought for sure i was going to get a lot of flack and stuff for this post but went ahead and posted anyways. im glad i did because you guys are great. this sites pretty sweet. thanks you guys.  i think i will go with Shane's advice. roberto i love how you said its a test of manliness. i like that. and to riaan nel... the guy i dont like will probably tell everyone i was afraid to go to the strip club if i dont go with them. he is a real jerk. thinking about seriously putting in a harassment complaint. 


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