I've known this girl for a while, and have always kind of been attracted to her. Only until recently did I find myself wanting to ask her and get to know her more. There is one problem with her that I can't seem to get passed, that she like to hang out with lots of guys. I mean lots. One of her best friends is someone she used to date almost a year ago, and all the conversations I've seen her have have been with other guys. One of my primary concerns here is that so many guys really have secret crushes on her, but no one has the balls to ask her out, and she maybe very naive in thinking all of them just want to be friends.

Am I over analyzing this? Should I just not worry about this until after we've been dating for awhile?

PS. I've already taken her out once and thing seemed to go reasonably well.

TLDR; Girl hangs out with lots of guys, is this an issue?

Views: 978

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

This is an issue.  Woman like this lead men on deliberately, albeit seemingly innocently enough.  It is a boundary issue, and if you let yourself become emotionally attached, you might lead yourself to heartache when it ends, and she effortlessly moves on to another guy.  Worse still, you will hang on long after it's over, just as the other guy is.

This is just my observation though.

Dude.  Just.  No, man.

yes or no if she seems to like to keep men on side than yah get out of there but i would say a good most of the time girls that hang out with guys just like the company better guys are simpler and less stressful and im sure most ladies that read this will agree. So you really have to ask does she like to play games or does she seem to be a honnest person.

Yes, they probably are secretly wanting to date her. No, she doesn't want to date them, regardless of whether she's naive or not.

You are freaked out and its only been the first date. Listen to your gut and move on.

You're not the one that's friendzoned, so your jimmies shouldn't be rustled.

Go back and read his post again.

Done, no change to my opinion.

I've known this girl for a while, and have always kind of been attracted to her.

Friendzoned.

There is one problem with her that I can't seem to get passed, that she like to hang out with lots of guys. I mean lots.

 

Insecure.

 

One of my primary concerns here is that so many guys really have secret crushes on her, but no one has the balls to ask her out,

 

Passive aggressive superiority complex.

 

she maybe very naive in thinking all of them just want to be friends.

 

White knighted her.

 

Should I just not worry about this until after we've been dating for awhile?

 

DFD, and, extrapolating into a future made up in his own mind.

 

I've already taken her out once and thing seemed to go reasonably well.

 

Incapable of making an assessment.

 

TLDR;

tl;dr

 

Not only is this guy attempting to operate well outside his lane, he has no idea what he's doing.  Although I'm backing his decision to go forward.  But, only because I like train wrecks.

I think you might be reading too much into some of that, though I agree OP is kinda clueless.  Still, he got her to go on a date with him, so I see no reason for him not to try to keep going.  Worst case, she decides to only keep him around as another friend. 

I think you might be reading too much into some of that,

Maybe, it is just a summary.  But, I'm pretty good at this.

 

Worst case, she decides to only keep him around as another friend.

HAH.  That's so far away from the worst case...

Still, he got her to go on a date with him

 

May have been a date for him.  Do you know it was a date for her?

In my personal opinion, I would just cautiously (as in protecting your feelings and not getting too attached too soon) move on.  A pet peeve of mine is when guys go nuts when I'm friends with their girlfriend, so I get it.

Maybe he meant, 'be cautious and move forward'.

RSS

Latest Activity

Jay D joined Shaun Daws's group
Thumbnail

Philosophers

An open forum for discussion of the big questions.
51 minutes ago
Jay D replied to John Muir's discussion A Time To Kill in the group The Great Debate
"Ah i dont know, i think it´s one of those you know it when you see it cases. It´s easy to say this or that is against my principles, but in reality fear overthrows princibles pretty quick. Thats why 90% of people say they would help…"
53 minutes ago
Jason replied to Matthew Perry's discussion Dressing for work in the group Teachers' Club (for men in Education)
"I have to chime in. I teach elementary & MS music. I will be starting my 7th year this fall. THere's another music teacher in a different school that always wears a tie, even to teacher meetings. I decided to try an experiment. I decided to…"
1 hour ago
Vincent Mabary replied to Bobby G Mullen's discussion Stoicism in the group Philosophers
"Philosophy does not require a deity/ies for discussion.  Stoicism in specific requires it even less.  Can you worship a deity in conjunction with living within the principles of stoicism?  Yes, you may, and you require no permission…"
1 hour ago
Pale Horse replied to Josh Williams's discussion I touched her butt.
"I forgot the details, sorry. I'll ask about it."
3 hours ago
Brian Splash commented on Pedro Angel Serrano's photo
Thumbnail

Sleep when you can

"Hey Ross " best sleep ever "  You bet Joey"
3 hours ago
Brian Splash replied to Greg Konrad's discussion Beginner Woodworking
"First serious wood piece I made was one of these ."
3 hours ago

Jonathan Stone just added their location.
(via Member Map)

4 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service