I've known this girl for a while, and have always kind of been attracted to her. Only until recently did I find myself wanting to ask her and get to know her more. There is one problem with her that I can't seem to get passed, that she like to hang out with lots of guys. I mean lots. One of her best friends is someone she used to date almost a year ago, and all the conversations I've seen her have have been with other guys. One of my primary concerns here is that so many guys really have secret crushes on her, but no one has the balls to ask her out, and she maybe very naive in thinking all of them just want to be friends.

Am I over analyzing this? Should I just not worry about this until after we've been dating for awhile?

PS. I've already taken her out once and thing seemed to go reasonably well.

TLDR; Girl hangs out with lots of guys, is this an issue?

Views: 1085

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

This is an issue.  Woman like this lead men on deliberately, albeit seemingly innocently enough.  It is a boundary issue, and if you let yourself become emotionally attached, you might lead yourself to heartache when it ends, and she effortlessly moves on to another guy.  Worse still, you will hang on long after it's over, just as the other guy is.

This is just my observation though.

Dude.  Just.  No, man.

yes or no if she seems to like to keep men on side than yah get out of there but i would say a good most of the time girls that hang out with guys just like the company better guys are simpler and less stressful and im sure most ladies that read this will agree. So you really have to ask does she like to play games or does she seem to be a honnest person.

Yes, they probably are secretly wanting to date her. No, she doesn't want to date them, regardless of whether she's naive or not.

You are freaked out and its only been the first date. Listen to your gut and move on.

You're not the one that's friendzoned, so your jimmies shouldn't be rustled.

Go back and read his post again.

Done, no change to my opinion.

I've known this girl for a while, and have always kind of been attracted to her.

Friendzoned.

There is one problem with her that I can't seem to get passed, that she like to hang out with lots of guys. I mean lots.

 

Insecure.

 

One of my primary concerns here is that so many guys really have secret crushes on her, but no one has the balls to ask her out,

 

Passive aggressive superiority complex.

 

she maybe very naive in thinking all of them just want to be friends.

 

White knighted her.

 

Should I just not worry about this until after we've been dating for awhile?

 

DFD, and, extrapolating into a future made up in his own mind.

 

I've already taken her out once and thing seemed to go reasonably well.

 

Incapable of making an assessment.

 

TLDR;

tl;dr

 

Not only is this guy attempting to operate well outside his lane, he has no idea what he's doing.  Although I'm backing his decision to go forward.  But, only because I like train wrecks.

I think you might be reading too much into some of that, though I agree OP is kinda clueless.  Still, he got her to go on a date with him, so I see no reason for him not to try to keep going.  Worst case, she decides to only keep him around as another friend. 

I think you might be reading too much into some of that,

Maybe, it is just a summary.  But, I'm pretty good at this.

 

Worst case, she decides to only keep him around as another friend.

HAH.  That's so far away from the worst case...

Still, he got her to go on a date with him

 

May have been a date for him.  Do you know it was a date for her?

In my personal opinion, I would just cautiously (as in protecting your feelings and not getting too attached too soon) move on.  A pet peeve of mine is when guys go nuts when I'm friends with their girlfriend, so I get it.

Maybe he meant, 'be cautious and move forward'.

RSS

Latest Activity

Shane replied to Sir's discussion US Presidential primaries in the group The Great Debate
"Sander's quit playing. We're working on it though."
43 minutes ago
Dave P replied to Steve M's discussion Equitable Restrooms: are Men losing their urinals?
"Trough urinals are not that uncommon in small parks in the rural areas in the Midwest. I have been to bars where the trough was in the middle of the men's room and no dividers to be seen. I have also been to public men's rooms in Europe…"
2 hours ago
David R. replied to Steve M's discussion Equitable Restrooms: are Men losing their urinals?
"The last time I saw a trough urinal was at the Maryland State Fair Grounds.  (I guess they wanted to keep things "original" or something.)"
3 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Steve M's discussion Equitable Restrooms: are Men losing their urinals?
"+1 I don't know anyone with a urinal at home."
5 hours ago
certified male replied to Braeden P.D.'s discussion Post-Mortem Symposium
"William T Sherman Samuel Johnson Ulysses Grant C S Lewis Calvin Coolidge My Dad"
7 hours ago
Nick H replied to Steve M's discussion Equitable Restrooms: are Men losing their urinals?
"Not sure who will be more upset with the gender neutral washrooms. Men, who've lost their private urinals, or women who lost their private mirrors. Ever go in the girls washroom in school. I did once after they won a big game and we carried…"
7 hours ago
certified male replied to M Cahill's discussion Question: adjusting evenness of double-sided razor
"Is it a slant razor?  If not, it should adjust evenly automatically. Did you happen to drop it?"
7 hours ago
Liam Strain replied to Sir's discussion US Presidential primaries in the group The Great Debate
"Find it difficult, is VERY different than "impacts job measurably" much less "hard to keep a job." These are perception/opinion statistics. Not impact statistics."
7 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service