[sorry not a native speaker, be advised]

Dear gentleman,

In my mid 30ies I find myself being a single, while all around people marry their partners they met during their college years. I never been good with the ladies as I am quite shy towards them*, however a had a couple of relationships. The last years I focused on work, meaning getting my PhD and finding a good job. I finally can catch a break now, but the dating pool seems to have dried up.

I tried things like online dating sites and even speed dating, with no success. I am not in the best shape, but I don't have think I am that hideous. 

Any inspiration?

* Weirdly I am not shy AT ALL in general (with other men or women I am not interested in).

Views: 470

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Have you considered counseling?  I'm not talking about in-depth psychotherapy or anything like that, but some short-term, probably Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) based counseling.  It can help you deal with this shyness. 

It's worth a try.

I never been good with the ladies as I am quite shy towards them

Attend social events that will encourage interaction, particularly wine tastings, local merchants; association events, etc. 

I am not in the best shape,

Get yer ass in the gym. And eat healthy. Things you need to  be doing anyway.

Weirdly I am not shy AT ALL in general (with other men or women I am not interested in).

Thats everyone. 

Any inspiration?

Think Bond and Han. Hear the theme music in your head. Literally, watch the first four bond movies until you can actually mimic his walk.

Never seen that Han poster before.  Love that. 

And then got his ass frozen in carbonite. Metaphor for getting the cold shoulder? Perhaps...


Ok the dating pool is far from dry. I talk to guys just like you every day, It's not that your shy, it's that you don't know what to say. Women don't want you to be funny or witty, they want you to be you. If your naturally funny than great but don't push it. Be yourself that's not MAnsy that's manly,If your not in shape than start a small workout for yourself,walk after dinner,do 10 push-up.Any little bit can help kick start your self worth. And you have a phd. At the end of the day you have alot going for yourself. If some women can't see that it's there problem not your

Get involved with activities other than your profession.  Go hiking, biking, get a motorcycle, a sports car, jeep.  Go sky diving (not for me but), scuba diving, taking trips to exotic locales, learn other interesting things.  Get into acting, meet people, talk to people.  Become interesting and you will meet interesting people. 


Latest Activity

Philip Funderburk posted a status
"Book recommendation of the week: Founding Brothers - The Revolutionary Generation by Joseph J. Ellis. Must read imho."
1 hour ago
Brian D Parker left a comment for David Johns
"Thanks for the welcome brother! Glad to be aboard!"
3 hours ago
Brad Williams replied to Brad Williams's discussion Self-Defense Without Guns
"Yeah, having heard what happened to my two buddies, I'm resolved if I got boxed in like that I would just wait until they got out of the cars, then start ramming.  Forward, reverse, forward reverse....  I wouldn't stop the…"
3 hours ago
Daniel Rodriguez replied to Brad Williams's discussion Self-Defense Without Guns
"It seems like these guys don't *try* to kill you. Swords won't work here, that'll escalate it. At most, a pocketknife, but it seems to be fisticuffs and clubs with these guys. If I had to run in with them, from what you're…"
4 hours ago
Brad Williams posted a discussion

Self-Defense Without Guns

This situation is going to take some detailing, so please bear with me.I live in Taiwan, where civilians cannot own firearms.  Crime here is almost zero, violent crime is basically zero.  Its one of the safest places to be.  There's also security cameras everywhere in the cities.  However, the little violent crime that there is ... is of a pretty frightening character.The problem is corruption.  While random crime like home invasion, convenience store robbery, drug crime, road rage etc. is…See More
4 hours ago
Ian Wilson replied to Ian Wilson's discussion So what is the point of all this? in the group Out to Build Bridges
"never heard of her, ...but thank you!  i found an article that she tweeted and it speaks to my soul.  i love it!  my gosh it was like reading my own thoughts.  so thank you for helping me to stumble upon that. and you are…"
5 hours ago
David Johns left a comment for Brian D Parker
"Hey, Brian!  Welcome, brother!"
5 hours ago
Jeremy added a discussion to the group Velo Men

new to the group.

Just wanted to say hi.  I am new here.  I have a single speed chromoly bike that I ride a lot.  I enjoy riding around and running errands and what not.  I am looking forward to reading posts on here.  See More
5 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service