[sorry not a native speaker, be advised]

Dear gentleman,

In my mid 30ies I find myself being a single, while all around people marry their partners they met during their college years. I never been good with the ladies as I am quite shy towards them*, however a had a couple of relationships. The last years I focused on work, meaning getting my PhD and finding a good job. I finally can catch a break now, but the dating pool seems to have dried up.

I tried things like online dating sites and even speed dating, with no success. I am not in the best shape, but I don't have think I am that hideous. 

Any inspiration?

* Weirdly I am not shy AT ALL in general (with other men or women I am not interested in).

Views: 486

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Have you considered counseling?  I'm not talking about in-depth psychotherapy or anything like that, but some short-term, probably Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) based counseling.  It can help you deal with this shyness. 

It's worth a try.

I never been good with the ladies as I am quite shy towards them

Attend social events that will encourage interaction, particularly wine tastings, local merchants; association events, etc. 

I am not in the best shape,

Get yer ass in the gym. And eat healthy. Things you need to  be doing anyway.

Weirdly I am not shy AT ALL in general (with other men or women I am not interested in).

Thats everyone. 

Any inspiration?

Think Bond and Han. Hear the theme music in your head. Literally, watch the first four bond movies until you can actually mimic his walk.

Never seen that Han poster before.  Love that. 

And then got his ass frozen in carbonite. Metaphor for getting the cold shoulder? Perhaps...

 

Ok the dating pool is far from dry. I talk to guys just like you every day, It's not that your shy, it's that you don't know what to say. Women don't want you to be funny or witty, they want you to be you. If your naturally funny than great but don't push it. Be yourself that's not MAnsy that's manly,If your not in shape than start a small workout for yourself,walk after dinner,do 10 push-up.Any little bit can help kick start your self worth. And you have a phd. At the end of the day you have alot going for yourself. If some women can't see that it's there problem not your

Get involved with activities other than your profession.  Go hiking, biking, get a motorcycle, a sports car, jeep.  Go sky diving (not for me but), scuba diving, taking trips to exotic locales, learn other interesting things.  Get into acting, meet people, talk to people.  Become interesting and you will meet interesting people. 

RSS

Latest Activity

Milo Morris left a comment for Michael J. K.
"Thank you for befriending me, Michael."
9 minutes ago
Joseph Robert replied to Matthew Perry's discussion Dressing for work in the group Teachers' Club (for men in Education)
"One thing I've noticed is that by dressing well, I don't have as many problems with parents in face-to-face encounters. I think a sweater vest/khaki combo will always beat the blue jeans/untucked plaid combination some of my fellow…"
3 hours ago
Profile IconJoseph Robert and Suburban Sentinel joined Andrioux's group
Thumbnail

Teachers' Club (for men in Education)

Virtual staff room for visionary teachers of every discipline. This is a good place for educators to discuss their collective role in society--particularly in regards to their duty as role models for young men. What does it mean to be a male role model for young boys in the classroom? How can we serve them best? See More
3 hours ago
Ricardo Carvalho Leite joined N. Vest's group
Thumbnail

Old School Iron

For fans of the Mace, Club and KettleSee More
3 hours ago
Ricardo Carvalho Leite joined Alan Fisher's group
Thumbnail

Manliness in the UK

For all those members over here in Blighty, we'll get some meets organised and have a few beers.
3 hours ago
Ricardo Carvalho Leite joined Jacob Fehr's group
Thumbnail

Manly Character

A discussion about what it means to be manly on the inside. We can participate in all the manly activities we desire and still be a coward. Men are involved in a variety of careers and hobbies that differ greatly, but we can all still be great men.See More
3 hours ago
bobby clyde posted a status
4 hours ago
Al Salil replied to Belmin Bratic's discussion Martial Arts
"I started practising Muay Thai 4 months ago, and it's really cool. Hope I'll be able to compete someday "
5 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service