[sorry not a native speaker, be advised]

Dear gentleman,

In my mid 30ies I find myself being a single, while all around people marry their partners they met during their college years. I never been good with the ladies as I am quite shy towards them*, however a had a couple of relationships. The last years I focused on work, meaning getting my PhD and finding a good job. I finally can catch a break now, but the dating pool seems to have dried up.

I tried things like online dating sites and even speed dating, with no success. I am not in the best shape, but I don't have think I am that hideous. 

Any inspiration?

* Weirdly I am not shy AT ALL in general (with other men or women I am not interested in).

Views: 478

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Have you considered counseling?  I'm not talking about in-depth psychotherapy or anything like that, but some short-term, probably Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) based counseling.  It can help you deal with this shyness. 

It's worth a try.

I never been good with the ladies as I am quite shy towards them

Attend social events that will encourage interaction, particularly wine tastings, local merchants; association events, etc. 

I am not in the best shape,

Get yer ass in the gym. And eat healthy. Things you need to  be doing anyway.

Weirdly I am not shy AT ALL in general (with other men or women I am not interested in).

Thats everyone. 

Any inspiration?

Think Bond and Han. Hear the theme music in your head. Literally, watch the first four bond movies until you can actually mimic his walk.

Never seen that Han poster before.  Love that. 

And then got his ass frozen in carbonite. Metaphor for getting the cold shoulder? Perhaps...


Ok the dating pool is far from dry. I talk to guys just like you every day, It's not that your shy, it's that you don't know what to say. Women don't want you to be funny or witty, they want you to be you. If your naturally funny than great but don't push it. Be yourself that's not MAnsy that's manly,If your not in shape than start a small workout for yourself,walk after dinner,do 10 push-up.Any little bit can help kick start your self worth. And you have a phd. At the end of the day you have alot going for yourself. If some women can't see that it's there problem not your

Get involved with activities other than your profession.  Go hiking, biking, get a motorcycle, a sports car, jeep.  Go sky diving (not for me but), scuba diving, taking trips to exotic locales, learn other interesting things.  Get into acting, meet people, talk to people.  Become interesting and you will meet interesting people. 


Latest Activity

Specs&Beard posted a photo


New Glasses.
3 minutes ago
Lucas Fialho replied to Niko's discussion Greetings from Germany
"Welcome, Man, and my Salutions from Brazil! Just one curiosity: Does Germany have an army? T thought its was dismissed since World War II"
49 minutes ago
Karl Helweg commented on Mark's group Spaceflight Fanatics
51 minutes ago
Davis posted a discussion

Not receiving alerts for discussions I'm following

Since, October 28, I've not been receiving alerts in my e-mail box for discussions I'm following on AoM. I've checked all the possible settings for my AoM account but have, yet, been able to figure out how to reinstate those alerts. I've also checked my e-mail account settings, but nothing I've attempted has fixed the issue.Any thoughts or suggestions, Gentlemen?DavisP.S. I'm able to receive messages from AoM members within the web site of AoM, but that is the extent of it. Thus, I have to log…See More
1 hour ago
Elon Erani left a comment for Mike Joseph
"Greetings & salutations, Mike Joseph. Elon"
1 hour ago
Hank posted a status
"Happy Halloween Men!"
1 hour ago
Native Son replied to Paul_of_TX's discussion 2014 Midterm Elections in the group The Great Debate
"Same Stuff.  Different Day.  Nobody seems to be running with a radical agenda. "
2 hours ago
Josh Allen commented on Josh Allen's photo

Josh100LuBu - Such A Powerful Photo!

"Thank you Lucas, well I am a Lord perhaps I should get a sword. Please take a look at my photo page, I love taking photos. https://www.flickr.com/photos/josh100lubu/"
2 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service