Well ladies & gents
I've met the woman of my dreams. We've been dating for several months now. She's everything I ever hoped for and more, and I love her more every day. I know that she is "the one" for me. I plan on marrying her. I'm going to wait until our birthday (we share the same birthday, month, day and year) to actually ask her, so I've still got a couple of months. I have questions I want to ask. For starters, we've talked about marriage somewhat, enough for me to get her opinion. She's said she wouldn't care if I asked her dad permission to marry her, but I've thought about it, and I want to do everything right. Should I ask her dad? Her father and I seem to get on quite well, so I'm not worried about him saying no. Next question, about the ring. I'm going through a period where I've been laid off, and I'm trying to find a business to start, but I am getting back on my feet. Even being back on my feet, I'm not going to have thousands of dollar to drop on an engagement ring. She's expressed previously that the price doesn't matter to her, she's not concerned with how much something costs, but she doesn't want it to be expensive. I've been looking around online, and I've found nice looking modest rings for $100 - $200 dollars. Is that a reasonable amount, all things considered? Also, what about the metal of the ring? She likes silver and doesn't like gold. I've heard that pure silver is too soft and wears, and that sterling silver tarnishes. I've read platinum is best, but the price for platinum is too high. Is sterling silver okay, or should I look for white gold or buck up and spend a little more for platinum? Last question, I think. I want to propose on our birthday, like I said. I want to make it very memorable and special. I've thought of taking her to the spot where we had our first date, the gardens there are very beautiful. Any suggestions or thought on how I can make it a very memorable event? I don't want it to be any run of the mill proposal, I want it to be amazing because she is amazing.
I should also add that we were together once, and she stated she wanted to be surprised with a ring at the ready. We've talked about marriage at length, so the proposal is merely a formality, albeit an important one.
Ask her dad.
Metal doesn't matter.
I'm sure you'll get tons of advice on how to make it memorable. Just don't put the ring in something she might break a tooth or swallow.
Ask her parents.
$100-200 will work.
You want white gold. You do not want silver. I'm strangely not in the mood to explain about white gold. There's tons of info online, but basically, it's gold mixed with other metals and plated so it's silver-colored, but it doesn't tarnish. With your budget, aim for 10K. Any jeweler or google can explain more.
No advice on how to propose. I like our story, but it sounds like you wouldn't.
I will look it up. And as for your story, I'm open to suggestions on the how to pop the question. Thanks for the advice.
I'll re-post it from our wedding website as a blog here.
I'll agree with Rebekah's white gold. Step up from the silvers, looks great, and honestly better I think than the platinums.
Nothing wrong with asking for the father's blessing. I took it a step further and asked both her parents for their blessing in what I was already going to do.
For the moment, don't do too much. The actualy event, the actual asking is the most important part. Don't over shadow it with unnecessary theatrics. It is already going to be yalls bday, you will already be back in a "sacred" place for you, not really a whole lot more that you need to add. I would allow for her to call up or go see EVERYONE
Okay, thanks. I was just kind of realizing that the moment itself is going to be special no matter what.
10k White gold is much sturdier than platinum, which is a softer metal. My band is white gold and my wife's is platinum.
Ask her dad after you're engaged -- since it's just a nice custom, and her "yes" is the one that matters!
I think if $100-$200 is what you can afford, that's good enough.
I took my honey up to a mountaintop, asked her to marry me on one knee, and we celebrated with mimosas (OJ & champagne). I had originally planned to cook her dinner and bring it to her outside, but the mosquitoes would have eaten her alive.
Friend's fiance proposed to her by making cardboard signs, one letter each, W I L L Y O U M A R R Y M E, and gave them to her 2nd-grade class to hold up on cue.
One thing of note: it's actually not traditional to propose with ring in hand. You can if you have a family heirloom. But it's more ordinary to let her be part of the selection process Why do people think this? Because that's the way it is in the movies, where things need to look dramatic.
Oh, I see that's what she expects. Well, since the proposal is merely a formality, you can still get her involved in some of these q's (type of metal, etc.).
If you want to ask her dad and she isn't against it, then go for it. If nothing else, she will appreciate the leadership you took in asking him. Some girls think this act is a bit outdated and some may even think its a bit misogynist (as if she's his property) but it sounds like she's not one of them.
The ring isn't important. The commitment behind it is. That said, I'd pass on the 100 dollar ring and save for a better one that will last. White gold is better than silver. It lasts longer and just better for many reasons. Also, as mentioned by some here, white gold is really just gold with a coating of rhodium (a metal similar to platinum). Also, better check to see why she prefers silver. Might be an allergy. Nickel is a common allergy and is in many gold alloys. If she is allergic, you better make sure your ring doesn't have nickel. I agree with the cost of platinum being too much. How about palladium? Same family of metals as platinum (looks the same) but is cheaper. Also, have you considered going to a ringsmith? Sometimes the debeers shit they try to sell you in the big chains is overpriced garbage. Go talk to a guy who makes them. You might get something perfect for a lot less than the generic factory-made crap they have in the big shops.
You can also get a loose stone and have it set in a ring bought separately. There are several websites that specialize in loose stones. Also, does it HAVE to be a diamond? I guess traditionally it does. Estate sales are another potential sources of rings and the stones can be reset.
A guy I know is a ringsmith and he told me that the 5C's (or is it 6) that the big chains (selling deBeers) try to pitch is BS. He said that high clarity, etc they tell you is just in one plane. Turn the stone over and it could be just as crappy as the next. Better to have someone fit a loose stone that works with your ring (let them hide the imperfections).