The Art of the Conversation has all but ceased to exist in today's generation raised on instant messaging, through decades of an emasculating culture.
Take this experiment next time your with friends: Note that after stating a non-offensive or polarizing opinion, (what you thought a character was thinking in a movie, how you thought an exam, hike, run was difficult or fun etc) - I'll wager any dollar the next statement out of your "friend's" mouth is contradictory, argumentative, 'one-uppmanship' or outright ignores what you said in the first place.
Almost a 100 years ago Dale Carnegie taught the basics to the Art of the Conversation, and showed how it was the path to friendship and success. How to listen, how to consider what the person said and show interest.
How should men communicate?
A man should use is words to build up those around him and to correct those who need correcting.
Awesome books, everyone should read. I found a book he wrote on Lincoln in a university library- fascinating.
"Decades of emasculating culture"? Sounds like BS to me, a bunch of garbage made up to complain about something. How do you measure emasculation? It seems like you're just blaming a nebulous social change (which is invented) for your perceived problems.
Vy, the entire premise of this site is a *return* to the traditional principles of masculinity. Its very existence is predicated on an acceptance of emasculation as an unfortunate theme in our modern culture.
It *is* an interesting way to look at it.
I don't think that 'emasculation' is a social process we can prove. Take movie heroes, a popular form of evidence for this junk theory. Masculine characters have always been popular in film. Magazines are dedicated to forming our bodies into the (quasi-impossible) shape of the manly man (usually takes expensive diets, workouts, and gadgets as well). The image of the manly man never really lost currency, even in the 60s, 70s, or 90s.
Oh the Irony that VY responded to my post regarding proper communication ...by telling me I have "perceived 'masculinity' problems"...
One could argue that the point I was making is that those who respond in the manner I described, suffer the "problems" VY is referring to. (Note implied jab.)
Straw man argument. Muscle mags don't represent societies' treatment of men, nor are the men who idealize Jay Cutler or the rest better off as a result.
We call those guys meat-heads for a reason - I saw a lot of them in the Marines. There are few-woman on the planet who would describe them as mentally, emotionally or socially-healthy or confidant.
'Emasculating culture' comes from my own analysis as well as the more studied academic research of others. Male figures in our daytime shows today are usually bumbling fools, Everyone loves Raymond is a fun one. These are only small examples, and can be attacked, however the theme is clear. We need to celebrate men again- to create a culture where we encourage men to grow, and take care of their families, to do an honest days work, to improve himself physically, mentally and socially.
However, Gentlemen are not celebrated today, being a man is being misogynistic.
These days boys aren't neutered so they can be girls, they're neutered so they can be boys forever.
That sums it up. I've often wondered why "growing up" just doesn't seem to happen anymore; a lot of guys even approaching middle age still dress pretty much like they did in junior high, and act worse now that they don't have mommy and daddy to mitigate their lack of maturity.
I've thought about buying up a few domain names like "stopbeingadouchebag.com" and "growthehellup.com" just to point them at AOM.
I will have to look up this Mr Carnegie. I think a good thing for anyone in communication, period, is to listen more, think before speaking, and mean what you say. I would also like to say that being blatantly rude for no reason accomplishes nothing.
All you have to do to see the emasculation of man in society is to turn on a television. Not to watch the shows (though most are demeaning towards men's roles), but the commercials! 9 out of 10 commercials shown portray men as weak, shallow, simple minded buffoons only capable of drinking beer, cheering for sports, while ignoring responsibility. There is no quantification needed to simply observe that man's role in society has been... in a kind word... changed. Are we hunter-gatherers anymore? Do we master tools or trades in order to be providers? What is our purpose? Emasculation, the de-manning of man has occured, and it is time to stop supporting this. Equal opportunity does not mean stepping down from our roles in the past! Women are earning more bachelor degrees than men, more masters, and even more doctorate degrees. Not to down play the importance of female education or success, but if you do the research, women outperform men in every general aspect in academia, and it is by quite a margin.
To tie into the purpose of this thread, in regards to communication, this is where it all begins. How one conducts one's self in the presence of others in society. Or thoughts become words, and words become actions. Think like a man, talk like a man, then you will become a man.