Art of Manliness

Gentleman, A Plea for Help

There is no easy way to begin this message, so I'll just give it to you straight. A friend of mine recently told me she was molested several years ago by her piano teacher, and when I asked further about this, she told me that she never told her parents or a figure of authority. When I urged her to tell the police or her parents about this, she refused to. Normally, I would leave any decisions regarding such a personal and terrible matter to her, but it is believed that he is still working as a children's piano teacher in a nearby city. The thought of children being in danger of assault is unbearable, and I would have acted sooner if I believed my actions would have an immediate effect. This is where you gentleman can help. What is the best course of action to ensure that he is put to justice and unable to harm others? I need a plan of attack because the crime occurred several years ago and she needs to be on board for this if the attacker is to be imprisoned. She has refused all of my calls for action, and we are currently not on the best of terms. Any advice or words of experience would be greatly appreciated, especially from those with legal experience. Thank you.

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Permalink Reply by Nathanael on January 10, 2013 at 6:19pm

False accusations do happen, but the behavior described above doesn't fit the profile of attention seeking or revenge.

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Permalink Reply by Rebekah on January 10, 2013 at 4:29pm

To add another perspective, I know opinions are all over the map about the ethics rules binding lawyers. IMO, the rules are usually very, very good, collecting a millennium of society's experience on the issues. The problem is following the rules.

And even lawyers are, in most states, allowed to break attorney-client confidentiality when there is a specific threat to someone's health. Same goes for doctor-patient confidentiality, where it's actually been found the doctor must report specific threats.

So, in some of the most sacred trusts our society identifies, the law says, not in so many words, "betray the trust."

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Permalink Reply by Will on January 10, 2013 at 1:46pm

One thing to note: my impression is that CPS is primarily involved in separating children from families, and that police are primarily involved in prosecuting crimes. So if you want him away from his children (does he have any?) CPS may do it. If you want him stopped generally, it's the cops.

But the mandated reporter in your life will have more info.

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Permalink Reply by Rebekah on January 10, 2013 at 2:40pm

We've recommended CPS because situations like OP's are their specialty. The reluctant, minor-age witness especially. There are layers to the situation besides getting the creep behind bars - counseling for the victim, getting the creep away from kids while the evidence is developed. CPS will go to police if they think that's helpful to children. CPS is also far more likely to be required to investigate. The police never have to do anything (and, like others, I really wonder if they will, with a reluctant witness and cold case - some jurisdictions have special detectives and prosecutors for these situations, who would actually be better to have involved than over-strapped CPS; most do not)

If the OP feels that the first agency contacted is ineffective, there are ways of going up and around and through law enforcement chains until he finds someone interested in helping.