I met her about a year ago, and we really hit it off. She had a boyfriend and was transferring schools, but we kept in touch all year. A while after she and her boyfriend broke up, she and I started talking more. Skyping and chatting online, and everything was great, we really clicked well. She told me she loves talking to me and wants to see me soon.
Anyway, she comes to visit to see a bunch of her old friends, and she tells me that she's seeing me for sure. She can't wait to see me, ect. We hang out all day together, and then before she leaves she and I kissed and agreed it was long overdue and we'd both been waiting to do that for a while.
A week after she left, we skyped and she was talking about me coming to visit with another one of her friends. I asked her if she was going to be my valentine, in a flirty sort of way, she said yeah, and then I called her on V-day. I thought that would be a nice thing to do. She didn't answer or get back to me. I give it about three weeks (this is a usual amount of time for us not to talk due to our own lives at school) and haven't heard from her, so I text her saying "we haven't chatted in a while, lets Skype!" She agrees, and makes plans for the weekend to talk to me. The weekend comes, and she's no where to be found again.
I'm very confused. I don't know if I overwhelmed her, or what happened. She seemed to be very into me, very excited to see me, wanted to see me again, wanted to talk to me right after she left, and then she just vanished. I'm not sure what else to do. She and I have been friends for a while, and I really like her. I don't know if the context of our relationship changed, and then visiting seemed like a huge deal and it freaked her out or what. Any insight?
TL;DR: Kissed my friend, tried to keep in touch and she won't talk to me.
thanks for reading guys
Isn't this a repost of something from a week or so ago?
Found the thread I was thinking of--lots of similarities, but not the same (also, it was older than I thought).
Anyway, you're not unreasonable to want to know why she's apparently avoiding contact with you, and you should ask why. Just be prepared for 1. more evasiveness, or 2. an answer you don't want to hear (like Will's guess that she's into another guy there).
how do I ask her why if she won't talk to me? She just seems to be ignoring my messages and texts, and that isn't a conversation I'd want to have over chat.
I've been seeing other girls at my school though too, albeit very casually, so it wouldn't be a big deal for me if she was seeing someone else.
"You've been hard to get in touch with lately; it seems like you're avoiding talking to me. What gives?"
If she ignores that, she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. If she responds, well, it depends on the response, but bear in mind that most of the time if a girl wants to make time for a guy, she can.
Right I know that about women, she was pretty eager to skype last time too, and whenever we did before break. That's why this is so confusing, because she literally just stopped everything. Stopped replying, stopped trying to talk to me right out of the blue. Like she's afraid to say something to me or afraid of talking to me. She was acting odd and unlike herself when I asked her to skype again. Awkward and unsure about what she wanted to say to me.
I'm with Nathanael on this. From what you describe you appear to be more interested in the relationship than she is. If Brad Pitt (or whoever girls are into at the moment) was going to skpye her, do you think she would miss it?
I know it's hard to admit that you are not what she is into at the moment, but there is no reason to get hung up on a girl who isn't into you. My vote, find another girl you like and put your energy into her.
Honestly, what purpose did it serve to toss in a comparison to Brad Pitt? It isn't relevant.
It's an AoM trope, and it's wise:
She sure isn't driven to talk to you. My first thought is that she met some guy she's interested in, and wants to cool it with you. But there's no way to know. It doesn't sound like you've overwhelmed her -- calling after a month!
A) Another guy
B) After meeting up with you and spending time with you, she realized that talking on the phone/skype created a fantasy that actual reality couldn't keep up with. She realized that she just wasn't that into you as the fantasy of this long distance romance.
C) You are a lousy kisser
I agree with what's been said. I'm a "lay it all on the line guy" I'd simply write her a letter or email and say "I'm in to you for sure, but if you don't feel the same way, I'd still like to be friends with you"
I've learned though some heard breakups that losing a friend often hurts more than losing a girlfriend.