Fear is a universal condition of the human experience. But what are fears that are unique just to men?

A few that come to mind:

The fear of not being able to perform sexually.
The fear of not being able to provide for their family.
The fear of being called a "sissy."
Homophobia.
The fear of being rejected by women.

Again, I just came up with those off the top of my head. I'd love to see what others you all can come up with.

What I'm more interested in is how you all think these fears get in the way of a man's emotional/spiritual/intellectual progress. Taking it a step further, how can we conquer these unique fears and move on in our progress as men?

Looking forward to your insights.

Views: 576

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I think many fears inherent to men stem from one basic fear: the fear of failure. Failing to provide for your family, failing to live up to others expectations, etc. I think to an extent the fear of failure exists within every man.

For me personally, with no family to provide for as of yet, the fear of failure exists as a fear of having regrets. The only thing that I truly consider myself to be afraid of is having regrets in the form of missed opportunities or a failure to act. For me, conquering this fear comes in the form of seizing opportunities as they present themself and following them to an end. Carpe Diem and all that.
Wife and I looking this over, and she made an excellent point. As a former single mother, the fear of not being able to provide for the family is not just a man-thing. It was a very real fear for herself, as well.
Point taken. I like what John said that perhaps there aren't fears that are unique just to men, but maybe there are ones that men experience more often or to a greater extent.

While single mothers definitely have the fear of not being able to provide for their children, I still think men experience this to a greater extent because we've been told and conditioned our entire lives that it's the man's job to be the provider. We're supposed to bring home the bacon, earn the bread, by the sweat of our brow... and so on and so forth.
I don't think that any of those fears are unique to men. I think that men experience them more often or to a greater extent than women. Or if you want to be picky, there are female equivalents to all of these.

That being said, I think that fear of rejection isn't only limited to being rejected by women. I think everyone is afraid of being rejected. I think we are Homophobic because we don't want to be rejected by our friends if we are seen as gay. I think being called a sissy is a form of rejection. If we don't perform sexually, we will be rejected by our lover.

Just thinking about the ones you listed, most of them stem from a fear of rejection in a broad sense. This goes hand in hand with our need to live in community.

One fear I've been mulling around in my head: Fear of not being respected. I've heard there was a survey that asked what you would rather be more: loved or respected. Men predominantly said respect. What do you think?
I hardly think homophobia is universal among men. It is a sad state that many men suffer from, pretty darn unnecessary too.

I'm sure there have been quite a few manly gay men through the ages. Alexander the Great is the earliest example I can think of.

The knee jerk anti-gay reaction I see from many men is truly frightening as well. It kind of reminds me of KKK or Nazi SS style racism.

John Clanton might be onto something with the fear of not be respected though. That deserves some thought.
When I said fears being unique to men, I didn't mean fears that are universal among men. So, yes I agree, homophobia is not universal among men, but I still think it's a fear that men (generally) tend to suffer to a greater extent than women. I think my wife makes an excellent point on why men tend to be homophobic as opposed to women.
Nazis were anti-gay and anti-disabled. So you are completely right on that.
Yeah I didn't mean to caricaturize anyone special, sorry if I offended anybody, I just meant to reply on Stephen's comment:
"The knee jerk anti-gay reaction I see from many men is truly frightening as well. It kind of reminds me of KKK or Nazi SS style racism." and verified that Nazis were against gays as well as disabled.

I think most men that are homophobia or against gays, are just afraid of them being involved in their interactions or stuff like that.
The fear of confrontation.
I don't think this is unique to men. Most people I know hate confrontation.
Becoming our fathers and/or at the same time not measuring up to our fathers.
(I had to delete this reply, then fix a huge typo, and now I've re-submitted it. Brett, I wish we could edit our replies like the old forum...)

IMHO, I think the fears unique to men are:
#1 . Fear of Failure (which is the BIGGY), and then a number of others which are closely related to fear of failure:
#2 . Fear of rejection
#3 . Feelings of inadequacy
#4 . Fear of losing control
#5 . Fear of being perceived as less than a manly man.

RSS

Latest Activity

blackjack posted a discussion

The Art of Living

Surely we ought to hold fast to life, for it is wondrous, and full of a beauty that breaks through every pore of God' s own earth. We know that this is so, but all too often we recognize this truth only in our backward glance when we remember what was and then suddenly realize that it is no more. We remember a beauty that faded, a love that waned. But we remember with far greater pain that we did not see that beauty when it flowered, that we failed to respond with love when it was tendered.…See More
3 hours ago
Croce13 commented on Karleia Steiner's blog post Five Ways to Regain Your Financial Freedom and Live Life on Your Terms
"Thanks a lot for sharing details about these financial freedom tips. My sister started working a while ago and wants to start saving now. She asked me find good Las Vegas certified financial planners and trying to help her out."
5 hours ago
Poe Dameron replied to George Corbul's discussion Hello
"I know exactly where Moldova is. It's just east of Romania."
9 hours ago
Thomas Patrick replied to Carl Byrd's discussion Vacation ideas for a young family?
"Guess your kid would be too young to remember now but when they get a little older you should try to go to Disney if you could afford it. That's something your kid will remember forever"
16 hours ago
Thomas Patrick updated their profile
16 hours ago
George Corbul replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"agreed!"
19 hours ago
Todd McFarland replied to Carl Byrd's discussion Vacation ideas for a young family?
"Pick a place that has on site day care so that you have some alone time with your wife."
20 hours ago
Todd McFarland replied to Alex's discussion Ingrown Hairs on The Neck
"Try the alum block. I had the same problem in college but outgrew it.  I think my hair got coarser over time so it would just poke right through the skin and not curl under."
20 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service