I'm sure most of us here have seen the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin.  If you haven't, watch it.  Its hilarious.  I don't think I really need to explain the premise, but this does tie in with my question.

 

If a man is still a virgin and it is not by choice; at what age should he say to himself "Okay, I have a problem connecting with women (or men) romantically and something needs to change." 

 

I can understand if you have personal or religious views that encourage you to keep yourself pure or whatever.  I'm asking for the people who have no major hangups about two people having sex.  People who view sex as a part of a romantic relationship or even just a fun way to spend a night. 

 

Lets even take this question a step further back.  Lets say that a man is now XX age and has never even kissed a girl (or guy).  This is a big problem in his life that needs to change.  How old is too old to have never kissed someone romantically and it is not by choice. 

 

For the record, I consider myself as sort of a late bloomer, but not as bad as others.  I first started dating when I was 17 and lost my virginity around 21 or 22. 

Views: 8083

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Why the rush. Personally I don't feel that there is any clock that mandates you needing to have sex by a certain age. Perhaps the person does not feel that they have made the right connections to pursue a sexual relationship and that is fine. It will happen when it happens. Trying to rush things could potentially cause issues.
" If a man is still a virgin and it is not by choice; at what age should he say to himself "Okay, I have a problem connecting with women (or men) romantically and something needs to change."

He should say to himself he may have a problem connecting with Women romantically as soon as he wants to do so and finds that he can't.
I agree with Micheal. "he may have a problem connecting with Women romantically as soon as he wants to do so and finds that he can't". This doesn't happen at a set age, and I would expect it would very between individuals. But as soon as the man decides that there is a problem, its time to find a solution.
I think this question may have to do with with the over sexualization of modern western culture. Look at the way popular adults and young adults are portrayed in the media, look at the fashions, look at the way people dance in the clubs. Individuals are pressured more and more by society to fit in, and part of this is to start having sex. I'm sure some people remembers high school, and doing something just because thats what everyone else did, or at least because thats what you heard everyone else was doing weather they were or not. Not every one is ready to have sex in high school, or college, or be fore being married. Much the same way not everyone is ready for a serious relationship in their teens, twenties, or thirties.
There is actually a term for this: Involuntary celibacy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy).

Off the top of my head: If you've been open to romance and nothing has happened by your mid-twenties, then I would think it would be important to actively meet new people and try to get a relationship going. I imagine letting this issue slide much longer would be incredibly demoralizing.
It actually goes beyond being demoralizing. I was talking to my friend who is a sexual psychologist, and she told me that lot of men who come to see her do so for prolonged virginity. She said that after their mid-twenties it actually beings to become psychologically damaging. The longer they go, the worse it is for them. If they go past thirty, their odds of being able to enter into any sort of healthy long-term relationship drops dramatically. Apparently they may even be prescribed a girlfriend. These are women who work with the men to form a relationship, and eventually have sex with them. It's like having an on-call escort that insurance pays for.
so - is this legalized prostitution?
Yeah- sounds JUST like the line of work I want my wife in. (sarcasm)
Well what if your wife wanted to go into that field...I was just saying.

Also, I have to wonder about how much PAYING for sex is really helping the situation.
I have to say, for myself at least, I'm not sure PAYING would make feel any better about the inability to have an intimate relationship.

It's not really the same thing. A guy pay a prostitute because he is horny and wants to get his rocks off. A guy pays a sex therapist (or sex surrogate) because he has legitimate health issues, mental or otherwise, that impair him from having a relationship with the opposite sex.

Also, prostitutes typically don't have advanced degrees in their field. And if one does, I would really love to know where she attended college. Just saying.

I'm sure that's what they tell themselves.

 

JB

There's many therapy sessions involved before they get a chance to 'do the deed', so I'm pretty sure that if one were only in it for sex they would get bored of waiting after a couple months and just look up the red light district in town.

If you want the 'naughty therapist experience', you've got to put in the time.

JB

RSS

Latest Activity

jazzgirl205 replied to Silviu Popescu's discussion Resources for employing swimming as a fitness activity
"When I was in college and had access to a swimming pool, I swam 3x a day in the summer.  I loved to swim!  It was the only exercise I did.  It gave me broad shoulders, larger...umm..... attributes, and a small waist.  The boys…"
3 hours ago
Salt Dragon replied to Brad's discussion I've lost a lot of weight! How should I expect my life to change?
"Hi I congratulate you for your positive lifestyle changes you have made.  I dont relate to your specifics but know that change is always disruptive and sometimes uncomfortable in the short term.  Be easy on yourself and adjust slowly and…"
6 hours ago
jazzgirl205 replied to J. Exalto's discussion What kind of woman are you interested in?
"Thankyou, Jack.  I think you echo my husbands sentiments.  I graduated college on the Dean's list, have been a news reporter, a teacher, an actress, and have been involved with sales and publicity.  For non-paying jobs, I have…"
6 hours ago
Carl S replied to Isaiah Serna's discussion Working under a bad leader
"Two options: Be Average: watch and learn from her mistakes so that you won't make them when you are at that level. Be Great: learn how to "sell" your ideas to your boss. Make her a success and she'll be an ally long past this…"
11 hours ago
John Muir replied to Brad's discussion I've lost a lot of weight! How should I expect my life to change?
" remember where you were and how you got where you are, and seek out and be kind to people on the same path - in a sincere way... don't be paternalistic or condescending. "
22 hours ago
Brad Smith replied to Silviu Popescu's discussion Resources for employing swimming as a fitness activity
"I have been swimming recreationally basically since I was a kid and, in recent years, for exercise for 30 +/- years (62 now).  I do it because I love the feeling I get from it but I also try to make it beneficial physically by working at it.…"
yesterday
Brad posted a discussion

I've lost a lot of weight! How should I expect my life to change?

Hello Gentlemen.I'm very excited to say that I'm down about 50 pounds in the last 5 or so months. I'm still losing. I was very overweight, and I decided to do something about it. I'd like to lose about 20 more pounds if at all possible. I stopped eating as much. I took up cooking. As a 23-year-old bachelor, I can attest that those of my species don't eat the greatest. I set out to break that stereotype. I eat well, but I control what I put in the tank, so to speak. Being creative in my kitchen…See More
yesterday
zak replied to Lumberjoe's discussion Round One . . . FIGHT!
"i agree with king of the dudes. it take a lot of strength and stamina to keep going for the amount of time there. that is how some guy get there ass kick they do not know how to get out of joint-lock"
yesterday

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service