Hello men,

I'm not sure if this has been covered on here, but I'm new, and would welcome any advice you may wish to offer. I'm a man of considerable girth (as my photo can attest). I've recently had some friends of mine tell me that I should stop tucking in my shirt, as this only makes me look fatter. However, I've also been told that leaving my shirt un-tucked just makes me look sloppy AND fat. I was wondering what the general consensus is. Also, if you have any weight loss advice, please feel free to offer your honest thoughts. Thanks!


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     I'd probably go untucked, because if the picture is a typical example the eye is drawn to the gut over-lapping the belt. Not to be rude, but it's more overlap than usual - even in big guys - and it's the thing that stands out to me, as opposed to your girth. Maybe hawaiian type shirts untucked. You won't look sloppy if it's a sharp, ironed shirt and pants, and you avoid the dreaded plumber's butt. Also, it would help if everything from the neck up is neat and clean - complexion, hair, teeth, etc.

     Hopefully, Chuck Knight will see this post - he's pretty good at fashion tips.


     As for losing weight, I think the hardest part is getting started. Once you start to see and feel results, and people comment on them, the behavior causing you to lose weight will be gratified and you'll be hooked. I guess the important part is deciding to do it, and then doing it in a way that you can follow through on your commitment to yourself - don't decide to start radically eating differently and exercising a ton all at once, start off deciding you're gonna drink a huge glass of water before you eat each time. After you've kept that promise to yourself, add another small step, like eating vegetarian, or cutting out bread. you should see mondo results just from those two. Then, when you start feeling better, EASE into exercise. park at the top of the garage and take the stairs down, or pick one exercise you can sort of enjoy that impacts a big muscle group, like your back or legs. I say this because you want to gain muscle because it burns fat.  Soon, you'll be a gym rat.

     Good luck and keep us posted - you'll find no unkindness here.

Foolproof weight loss advice:

1. Eat right. Eat nutrient-dense foods and take in sweets, fats, and oils in moderation. Make sure your caloric intake is less than your output. Body by Vi has some great shakes, and you can make money off of their system, too. It's like Weight Watchers, but with nutrient shakes (delicious ones, at that) and commission.

2. Work out. Hit the treadmill, and not with your laundry you don't have a place for. If you don't have a treadmill, go to the nearest park and jog there, or around the block. It may help to do it with a friend. Once you start slimming down, start lifting weights. The Total Gym is also great for building muscle.  If you don't have the time to work out, make the time.

Laura Mercy no, don't leave the shirt untucked to hide your weight.  It won't work, and it will look sloppy.  (Unless it's the type of shirt that shouldn't be tucked.)

You are in a tough position mate, at your size you do have a conundrum about tucking vs untucking, the fact is, niether is going to look good at the moment...I do NOT say this to bring you down or hurt your feelings in any way at all, just being honest.

As for weight loss...get hold of a pushbike, they are great for losing weight, they are also great for being able to zip past people when you aren't feeling or looking your best. I lost nearly 3 stone several years ago (in under a year). I class that purchase as some of the best money I ever spent. Hard going at first, I remember my first ever night...I did about 2 miles and thought I was going to die when I got home...but before you know it, you will be able to rack up a respectable 10-12 miles in an hour, which will burn several hundred calories a session (I used my bike 5 nights a week when I was looking to lose weight, also went out quite late at night to avoid traffic or people taking the piss as I wheezed past them!)

An indoor 365 solution would be a treadmill, so easy to just hop on one for an hour twice a day, no weather concerns, no concerns about other people/traffic/crime etc, you can watch TV or listen to some music, and like the bike, it is a low impact solution.

Whatever you do, I wish you the absolute best of luck...and would like nothing better than to see a thread from you in 12 months time stating that you need an entire new wardrobe due to weight lose! :)

There is a good article on this site about how WE as larger men should/could dress. Basically, if the shirt is cut like a dress shirt, longer in the front and back, tuck it in. If it is cut evenly leave it untucked.

The best thing I have learned is that the sloppy look does not go well on big guys. No baggy clothes, no layering, no patterns on shirts, etc.

As for loosing weight, don't take advise from skinny people. They have probably been skinny their whole life and have no idea how difficult it is to shed those pounds.

Without responding to any particular posts on this thread:  isn't that the way of it?  People who have no experience, or expertise, or knowledge, reach into their minds, get the answer that feels best to them, and provide it.  I'm not saying you must have experienced X to have knowledge of X, but if you have no training, experience, or anything but opinion, well, you got nothing but opinion.

I have never been very large.  I have lost weight, once, intentionally.  Went running each day and did not correspondingly increase what I ate.  What I learned was:  it's tough.  And based on what some large people have told me of their struggles:  reducing intake isn't enough.  You must also increase activity. 

I disagree with the "don't take advise from skinny people".

I've never been obese, in the medical sense, but I have gained and dropped weight. The unfortunate thing for people with weight problems is that their weakness or charecter flaw is visible to all. I'm not really happy with the words "weakness" or "charecter flaw", but don't know how else to say it. Improvement opportunity. perhaps? Anyhow - I think the VAST majority of people who are not overweight, especially those like me who are over 30, are the weight they are because of a conscientious effort. So since so much of all aspects of health from dental hygiene to body weight are shaped by habits, it's worth looking at the habits of people who don't have the improvement opportunity you do, and learning from them.  

Look to people who have lost weight and fought the fight for insight and support, certainly - but don't discount the advise of someone just because they've never been in your shoes. You may be better at money management, or housekeeping, or any number of things - they are better at maintaining body weight.

I saw an interview once with CC Deville from Poison, who gained and lost a good bit of weight, and he said that he actually got more empathy and support when going through his cocaine addiction than with his weight loss. I certainly empathize with people who struggle with their weight.

As do I. I have never needed to be in the HELP position, but I know how to do it.

Although I get not completely discounting thin people on dieting (and single marriage counselors... and pshrinks who've never been neurotic, if you can find one!) ... you really think almost all thin people are that way by effort?  Among those I would know about, I don't know _anybody_ who's thin by dieting.  (Though I know a few who are medium weight by dieting.)

I'm one of those people who are blessed by natural skinniness. But, I used to be a flat out shrimp. Now I'm in the best shape of my life, and still improving. So while skinny people don't know about weight loss, we can know about getting in shape, which includes many of the same concepts involved in weight loss.

I think most over 30 are. People gain a few pounds so they cut back, they're more active, or perhaps they are bulimic. But yes, I'd say most thin people are that way because of a conscious effort to maintain or sustain healthy eating and or exercise habits. Especially here in the states, where the food choices are diverse but clouded with poor choices.

Note that I didn't say "all skinny people can provide wise council"

As for loosing weight, don't take advise from skinny people.

Heh.  Taking weight loss advice from fat people makes about as much sense as taking financial advice from broke people.  Look to people who've gotten where you want to go, not who've been where you are.



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