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Permalink Reply by Michael D. Denny on June 18, 2011 at 11:32am

" As OK Cupid has demonstrated, women rate 80 percent of men below average. "

 

 That sounds about right. 

 

 Let's face it, in the modern world, "average" is a pretty pathetic standard. Be responsible with money, hit the gym three or four times a week for an hour at a time, don't smoke and be half way organized,,,, and you've got 75 percent of the Men of the world beaten.

 

 While it is probably true that a Woman is not attracted to a "gentleman" as much as she is attracted to an Alpha Male, (if we're differentiating between the two) the unpleasant fact boys, is that in this day and age it doesn't take much to be an Alpha. Men are so feminized in these times, (soft, pudgy, fragile in sensibility, weak, suburbanized), that it really takes very, very little effort to be the Alpha male in the group. 

 

 If you're "average", you're grossly under performing. 

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Permalink Reply by Jacob Bauer on June 18, 2011 at 12:23pm

There is truth to this. It goes for men, too.

 

If you wanted to start a restaurant, would you ask advice from somebody who owns one, or from somebody who goes to one?

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Permalink Reply by Jack Bauer on June 18, 2011 at 1:13pm

I think there is some truth to the concept.  Many times, it is a bad idea to take women's advice on dating.

 

I think part of it is that women are pretty bad at defining exactly what they want in a guy.  Nine times out of ten, women won't like the results in a guy that follows all their advice ... because, in reality, the vast majority don't want a guy that is whipped enough to overhaul himself because he read it in a magazine or heard it from some chick.  That level of pathetic sycophantic behavior indicates a distinct lack of confidence, presence, alpha-ness, or whatever ... and is actually counterproductive.  In reality, women want a good man that is comfortable enough in his own skin to not give a damn about all the advice.

 

Maybe the "advice" is just a test.  If you give it more than a passing glance, you fail.  If you get a manicure, you fail with flying colors.

 

That being said -- the article itself seemed to be just a fit of whining by a guy that isn't an "alpha male", and can't figure why none of the girls liked him when he followed all their advice "geared to alpha males" and became the pathetic dude they claimed to want.  If he were an alpha male, maybe he'd have known that he shouldn't care.

 

I get the feeling he just failed the tests, and is upset at the result.  Dude ... maybe its you.

 

JB

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Permalink Reply by Will on June 18, 2011 at 1:35pm

I heard this once, and it made sense: when a woman tells you what she thinks you should do to be attractive to women, she's telling you what attracts her.

That's probably good information.  It may not be.  She may not know.

I'll add:  women sometimes think one thing, feel another, and do something else.  That is, they're like the rest of us.

And:  hand lotion?  Someone believes you need hand lotion to be attractive to women?

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Permalink Reply by Justin Wollmann on June 18, 2011 at 2:43pm

The term Alpha seems to have a large scope when it comes to women. I was talking with a girl just recently who told me that she was attracted to Alpha males because she has a "dominant personality". Then later she asks why all the guys she dates hit her, abuse her, and cheat on her. Another girl told me in the same night that she wants a guy who wants her for more than sex, and acts like a grown up, but that she won't date a man who has an inch of fat on his stomach and doesn't wear frosted tips.

So do men see Alpha males as being strong and educated leaders who can hold their tempers, while women see Alpha males as being The Situation?

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Permalink Reply by Yankee Cowboy Bob on June 18, 2011 at 3:31pm

One theory is that women like the "bad boys" because they have self confidence, know what they want, are assertive. The "nice guy" that follows her like a puppy dog and is always trying to please her by earning her affection will always be relegated to the "friend" catagory.

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Permalink Reply by Jack Bauer on June 18, 2011 at 3:50pm

For the most part, I don't think most women like bad boys ... I think most of them like good guys with a bit of edge.  The "bad boy" phenomenon is just women choosing the "edge" over the "good" when they can't find someone with both.

 

JB

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Permalink Reply by Yankee Cowboy Bob on June 18, 2011 at 3:59pm

Yeah... what he said!

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Permalink Reply by Will on June 18, 2011 at 3:57pm

In survey after survey, women rate "confidence" as high. Bad boys have it. It's the confidence, not the badness, that I think has the appeal.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Pugh on June 18, 2011 at 3:03pm

This should help you make sense of why

 

http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

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Permalink Reply by Arnim Fritsch on June 18, 2011 at 3:15pm

I've read through some of this blog, and I frankly consider the author to be somewhat sick.  I pity anyone who is so preoccupied with social hierarchy.  Regardless of where they or others believe that they stand in said hierarchy, they lose.  Rumination of this nature is fueled by unrelenting self-doubt.

 

That being said, the finding that women rank 80% of men as being below average is rather interesting.  My sense is that this is likely an artifact of their research paradigm and probably shouldn't be over-interpreted.

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Permalink Reply by LShieldes on June 18, 2011 at 8:20pm

Women aren't logical, so if you ask them to logically break down what they want, you are going to get an answer different from what will truly attract them or invoke their sexual/relational needs

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