Does race play a role in your relationships?
I grew up in a moderately racist family (in Texas). My father was the worst, and constantly used words like nigger, jigaboo, spic, sand nigger, and chinc (but certainly didn’t attend racist meetings or anything like that). To be honest, there were not a lot of minorities around me when I was young, so I had no real and personal experiences with minorities myself. Though I can remember being afraid the first time I touched a black kid. I thought that the black would actually “rub off on me.” (The things adults tell kids.)
I am definitely the black sheep of the family (no pun intended). I have always been the most open-minded, multi-cultural person in my entire family. I have eaten food, read prose and poetry, and listened to music from all over the world. I have also had the greatest number of multi-racial friends and romantic interests.
If I like a person, his or her race is irrelevant to me. Well, I guess it is irrelevant to me even if I hate them, too.
I will admit that because of how I was raised, that I did have some deep-seated prejudices of which I was not even aware—especially when I was younger. I may have had black friends, but going to a black doctor would have been something different all together. I think I am over that now though.
To be honest, racism really, really offends me. I think it is stupid, unfair, and dehumanizing. The assumptions people make about people of a different race, and the way they categorize and dismiss them is just plain wrong.
So here are the questions:
1. What were you raised to believe about race, and is it different from what you believe as an adult?
2. Does race affect who you’ll befriend, socialize with, date, have sex with, or marry?
3. What about when approaching or talking to strangers?
4. What about at work – with hiring or firing or assigning duties?
5. What do you think is the state of race relations in the US today?
Honest answers please. I’m not asking so that I can judge anybody or chew anyone out. If you have issues with people of different races, please tell us why, and if you think it is worth trying to overcome them.
Tags: race, race relations, racism
Views: 275
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jack Neulist on -
That anecdote about your mom? Somebody stole it and used it in "We Were Soldiers".
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on -
...I don't talk to kids who dress like gangstas.
Ditto, though I once had a gay black guy tell me this was racist of me. It's not, it's just an inability to identify with them.
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Permalink Reply by Christopher Dart on -
hahaha
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Permalink Reply by Rawb on -
"Mixed Marriage" to me means pretty close to your definition; a Catholic marrying a Protestant (or any nonCatholic).
The look on my first roommate's face when I answered a question about my dating preferences with "Well, I wouldn't want to enter a mixed marriage, so..." There was some very fast explaining going on subsequently.
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Permalink Reply by Bernie W. on -
To analyze your actual stance on race, I would recommend taking the test at https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ which I first learned about in the book Blink. Click Demonstration and click the next few agreement links until you see all their tests, one of which is called Race IAT (a black/white racism test). The results are surprising to most people, myself included.
As to your questions:
1) I was not raised aware of any strong belief; most members of my Southern family were racist, but for example my grandmother's name was Juanita. Talk about mixed messages! I try to be aware of my prejudices and be an open, honest adult.
2) I'm not discriminating about any of these. Behaviors versus race are usually the deciding factor in whom I associate with.
3) I'll admit to being hesitant to approach some people in unfamiliar situations.
4) I'm not a manager
5) I'm afraid Mr. King would be ashamed and say there is still progress to be made, on both sides of the aisle.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on
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I took that implicit test on religion, but to be honest, I was not so impressed. Seems to me that it measures your eye/hand coordination or your ability to respond quickly more than anything else. I'm not always os quick on my feet.
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Permalink Reply by Jack Neulist on
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In all truth, I find the whole premise of this test insulting. I haven't taken it, but I know others who have. It's a joke -- too fast, unscientific, and frankly, ludicrous. Actions speak louder than words -- and screenings. I know a racist when I see one, I don't need an internet quiz to tell me.
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Permalink Reply by Zachary Waxman on -
that test is bogus by the way
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Permalink Reply by David P. Lochner on -
I was raised to stay away from anyone who wasn't Catholic, Then it just became white. Then eventually it was whatever, as long as I stayed out of jail. Then after I got locked up it all when to pot. I believe, as an adult, that it's the "content of your character" that I'll judge.
As far as who I might befriend it comes down to who I share a common interests(swing shows/dancing and rockabilly, vintage clothing, classic cars and motorcycles, etc.) with. If their not an ichy and can collar that jive then it's all ok. I generally try and associate with people who share the same morality as I do. I'll date anyone. Doesn't matter because a woman is a woman and a girl is a girl. Though I must admit red heads with milky white skin (gingers) drive me wild. Maybe it's because of my Irish descent.
If I need something I'll talk to anyone I can. Doesn't much matter who they are, or what they are wearing. I've asked bums and the upper crust alike for directions. I must admit that I feel more at ease around the working class, no matter their skin color.
As far as work goes I'm not management so I don't have the hiring/firing problems. I associate with the guys who work hard and do their jobs. If you don't work I don't deal with you. If you are affraid to get your hands dirty I don't have time for you. If you think you are entitiled to a paycheck for not doing your job above and beyond, I'll stay away from you.
I must admit that I don't care for anyone, black/white/latino/eskimo/etc., who think that wearing pants off their ass is cool. Especially if they are over 15. Buy a Belt!
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Permalink Reply by Michael D. Denny on -
Aye. Evan Rachel Wood as a a redhead absolutely kills me. (I doubt shes' a natural ginger).
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Permalink Reply by Matthew Robertson on -
It's a real shame there aren't actually women walking around that look like this, albeit with clothes on, damn she's hot.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on
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Though I must admit red heads with milky white skin (gingers) drive me wild.
Well, it's perfectly normal for different things to appeal to different people. I like my men like I like my coffee: stuffed in a sack and tied to the back of a mule.
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