Many men accept that women run their relationships, their marriages. It's often the butt of many jokes in sitcoms, Hollywood movies and real life. Only in America does this seem to exist. Or does it? Is this just how it is? Or is there a better way for men to coexist in relationships?

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It exists, is not the norm, and there's a better way.  But:  where do you hope to go with this discussion?

If this isn't an Introduction, you can move it to another part of Forums (Relationships & Family?) even after it's posted.

Only if you let them.


JB

You have facts to support your statement? Gallup poll stuff?

Of course it's the butt of sitcoms and Hollywood, where everyone is attractive, lives in lovely huge houses and never seem to work, rather eat at fancy restaurants all the time.

That is not reality. I do know a marriage here and there where the man is passive aggressive (I oughta know, because I've been guilty of it too) but none where the woman rules.

In most of the US we culturally strive for our marriages to be partnerships, not one subjugating the other. 

The media just wants you to think that. In every family I have been close to, the man takes the lead, as he should. It's one of the stereotypes on television, that the man of the house is a stupid brute, and that a gynarchy is the perfect system in the home. Absurd. Of course both the man and woman are important and necessary for a healthy family, but the man should be more respected as the leader of household.

American women control most of the money and all the pussy.

Sounds like the impotent complaints of a bitter, lonely man.

Or one with a sense of humor.

Nope. Just da facts.

For what it's worth, I grew up in a family where my mother was the primary breadwinner (She's a corporate executive, my father is self-employed). Most of the archetypical gender roles were reversed, and it never seemed odd to me. My father did the cooking and the cleaning, mainly because he had a lot of time between service calls. Any major financial decisions were my mother's domain. To that end, that's somewhat how my relationships have always been- decision making powers equally distributed, but I do the cooking (I'm a better cook, so it makes sense). I don't particularly care who makes more money, and it's unlikely to be me (EMS doesn't pay shit, but nursing sure does). If either of us makes a power play based on gender, the other is unafraid to call bullshit. Ah, the wonders of having two people who have mastered "The Look".

"Da facts?" Any relation to "Da Rules?"

My parents spent a semester in India in the early '80s.  Growing up, they always explained that in India, the mother of the paterfamilias "ruled the roost."  When I learned about India in school as a teen, my textbooks said India was a patriarchal society; the oldest man "ruled the roost."  I talked to my parents about it.  They said the textbook might be right looking superficially at who's handling the money or interfacing with the government, but their perspective came from actually talking to women.

And I'm pretty sure the trope of the overbearing wife is fairly universal and certainly ancient.

So, no, it doesn't exist only in America, if it exists at all.

^This

In every culture I've interacted with, whatever bullshit rhetoric is spilled out in public, there's almost always a matriarch somewhere when working at the individual level.

shane..i am with you on this. being from the South, the matriarch always rules, even if the father has a titular role as "head" of household.

My guess that in south it came from Civil War when all the men were killed.

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