Our sporting club had a social event on the weekend, and one of the women there, who i'll give the fake name of Adele to, who is married with a family and a little older then me, always makes some mild jokes about me. I always thought they were jokes untill on the weekend the first time I saw her she suddenly grabbed me and pulled me into the toilets to have sex with her. At the time I wasn't thinking too clearly or too much but when we got home she did say that she was in fact still married. She stayed the night and I dropped her round the corner from her house in the morning.

I don't really know what to do now, all I have as a plan is to apologise to her at some point somehow, but other then that I have no idea.

I feel like I've betrayed myself and what I claim to stand for, and the worst part is that it's my mistake and someone else's family has to pay for it.

This is without a doubt the worst thing I've done in my life and I have no idea what to do next. After I dropped Adele home she went to her Son's 4th birthday party. What should I do now?

Views: 559

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

My advice is to stay away.  You can't pretend it didn't happen of course, but you're playing with fire.  I don't know what your own relationship status is, or how you get along with her husband, but her status is pretty clear, and this will not end well.  The best thing you can do if she approaches you again for sex is to make it clear to her that although you were caught off guard once, you cannot and will not have an affair with a married woman.

If she's looking to get out of her marriage, then having an affair during that time is only going to make that process worse.  If she's just sexually frustrated and looking to get some action, then she needs to find someone else.

Apologize to her?  Why?  She's not a victim.  She's a perpetrator.  Her family will pay for her actions, not yours.


Tell her you won't be involved with a married woman, that you won't be involved with a woman that'd do that to her husband, that you made a mistake in judgment, that you're done with her ... and then stay away from her.  You don't owe her an apology, though.  You didn't betray her ... she used you to betray her husband and kids.

 

Then, don't let it happen again.

 

JB

I would do this. 

Don't even touch her again.  Repair yourself.  You see your own sin, you're man enough to admit that.  Now work on yourself.  Religious at all?  Me, I turn to the Bible. 

Make yourself a better man for this.

I agree with your other posters that you need to do damage control. You had better clear your head so that you don't do anything rash or impulsive trying to force a resolution (more likely, a crisis). Lay very low and avoid Adele like the plague at least long enough to convince yourself that neither of you will do anything rash or impulsive.

The point is to protect innocent parties like that 4 year old, who should not have to deal with the consequences.

First off, stop beating yourself up about what happened.  Shit happens. It doesn't sound like you're the type of guy who would be comfortable in a "friends with benefits" relationship with a married woman, so chalk this up as a one time thing and let it go - if she'll let you.  Forgive yourself; forgive her.  I wouldn't quit my club or change my life to avoid her if I were you, unless she forces you to do that by escalating the drama level.  Just remember how you felt afterwards, the next time she comes on to you (if there is a next time), and politely refuse.  If she won't let it go at that, then you might have to take more extreme evasive action.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

If she's looking for the excitement of a tragic love affair, complete with sneaking around, stolen moments, bodice-ripping emotional drama, ..., well - unless you like that sort of thing, I'd give it a miss.  (Trust me, there's no guy alive who needs that crap.)  Those things rarely end well, and before it's over, you'll have pain and trouble you never imagined was possible.

There are a lot of single women out there, all ages, and the last thing you probably need is to be caught up in the middle of the pyrotechnics of a disintegrating/dysfunctional marriage - or to get involved with a seriously neurotic woman, who uses you to act out with.

RSS

Latest Activity

Pale Horse replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"@Shane Yeah, Margaret Sanger. She founded it. @Liam, sorry, forgot this isn't a group thread."
39 minutes ago
Liam Strain replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Historians don't agree on how involved in the eugenics movement of the time, Sanger actually was. Mostly it seems it was a political vehicle (being quite popular, and supported by much of the scientific community of the time) for her birth…"
1 hour ago
Shane replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Planned Parenthood"
1 hour ago
Shane replied to Dominic's discussion Trump, Flynn, Russians - oh my! in the group The Great Debate
"If it was over that would mean people would need to get to work instead of screaming about nothing."
1 hour ago
Sir replied to Dominic's discussion Trump, Flynn, Russians - oh my! in the group The Great Debate
2 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Sanger?"
2 hours ago
Nick H replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Had a botany prof who used to say that when eating a banana you are eating the aborted foetuses of the plant."
4 hours ago
Nick H replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Saw this sign in a shop recently that said "Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken and a life's work for a pig"."
4 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service