My best friend just got engaged a few months ago, and of course I'm happy for him. Like other posters and their past experiences, I've already started hanging out less and less, which I understand and am okay with.
We had planned to do something, just us two guys, this weekend. But his fiance's brother (i.e., his future brother-in-law) is coming over from across the country to stay with his sister. Even though my friend and I had something planned, I told him that he should spend more time with his brother-in-law. (The two of them get along fine.)
I really was looking forward to this weekend, cause after all, family comes first. I will miss our planned weekend together, did I do the right thing? We haven't planned or talked about when we would reschedule.
You will get different responses, but I believe honesty and authenticity are more noble than obligatory behavior for the purpose of appearing noble. I personally would not have changed the plans. Had he asked if you could reschedule because the brother was coming into town, I would have told him, that I understand the dilemma and that I'm disappointed in the postponement. If he didn't ask me to cancel, I would have stayed with the original plan because it is authentically what I desired. That is my personal commitment to living the life I desire.
I recently made a post awhile back, about how my best friend recently just got engaged too. I see where you're coming from. If I were you, I would have loved to hang out with him, but I also understand that he has other priorities. I guess I would have been like you, offer him the time to spend with his family, but I would also tell him that I'll miss his company. Who knows, he might see you as giving up something for his new life, which he'll definitely appreciate and the gesture, and he'll want to hang out with just the two of you more afterwards. :)
Actually, James, can you be more specific? Like Rockeman said, it depends. If he said it was fine for you to hang out, and you offered him the time to spend with family -- that's extremely generous of you and that makes you a wonderful friend. And I guess it also depends on how often his brother-in-law comes to town. My two cents.
I'm not sure this is a right or wrong issue. But if you want to stay connected, why not try to reschedule?
It was up to him to break the plans, not you. It would be up to you to be understanding of his need to break the plans.
Yall haven't talked about rescheduling because you haven't. It is one thing to know he needs more time for other thigns, it is another to make him have the time for other things.
I agree with you. If an event must be called off because of an un-expected circumstances it is up to the person who's been affected by those un-expected circumstances.
@James -- Will is right as well. This isn't an issue of right or wrong, however, ettiquette wouldn't dictate that you cancel your plans in that situation.
Agree with all the replies above. It's not a right or wrong issue. It's very nice of you but not necessary. However, you'll definitely score points with the girl. She'll definitely appreciate his fiance having thoughtful friends like you. :)