I had a girlfriend I was deeply in love with, we used to talk about getting married and I dreamed about having a child with her. She told me that she had a threesome with a couple before dating me and I didn't mind because she was single at the time, but I told her she was dating now and should forget those things, I also have always said I didn't want any other man in the relationship.

Then one day she said she would love to watch me with another girl and encouraged me to look for someone interested, I enjoyed the idea but I told her that this shouldn't be an excuse for her to have another man. Next week she said we would only have a girl if I accepted going out with couples too, she wanted us to go out with that same couple she had sex with before, needless to say I refused and got upset. Still, every week she would go back to this subject, until I got really mad and she gave up on the idea, but I was already bearing a grudge.

Time passed and we forgot about those arguments, the relationship was going phenomenal, I was having the happiest days of my life with her, but everything turned upside down when I found out she was keeping a sex pic with that couple she went out with, I told her to delete it but she was reluctant, saying it was a milestone in her life, but as I was pissed off she got rid of the picture. "I didn't know you it would hurt you so much", she said.

The foursome proposal and the picture were gone, but I was really hurt about all of that, the admiration I had for her was vanishing, my passion for her had gotten weaker, it felt like I didn't know her anymore, I told her I didn't want to get married anymore and she got worried about it.

I know it sounds really macho, but her trying to have sex with another man really hurts my honor and my sense of territorialism. Her trying to push my boundaries over and over was just so disrespectful. Anyway, that was all gone but the pain was just too much, so I just called her and said "I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry".

Sometimes I think that leaving her was a too radical decision because that story was all gone, right? Maybe I should have worked on my pain and tried to start it all from scratch, but breaking up was what felt right at the time.

Do you think I did the right thing?

Views: 83

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I don't think "respect" has anything to do with it.  But... she seems pretty attached to having sex with people that aren't you.  People generally don't change that much, or at least, you can't count on it.  If you marry her, you'll at best get someone who wants to do other people, and at worst someone who's actually doing them.

You did what you needed to.  As to Macho.  I had a rule with my Girlfriend now wife.  If she saw an ex boyfriend that day she would be in my bed that night.  Not that I did not logically trust her, emotionally I needed that.  One can argue logic all you want but we have emotional sides that need to be acknowledged even if we don't like the impulses they give us.  My Lady Love took it as a very deep and strong "I love you" and was totally okay with it.

If you are looking to create a solid relationship that will handle the stress of life, I fully understand your position and agree with you.

You're not compatible. And, she's no more at fault than you are.

You're a hypocrite. You're not monogamous, you're just insecure. You don't mind the idea of a third person in your bed, so long as you're the one that's satisfied rather than her. She baited you, and figured you out. You're not protecting the relationship. You're protecting your ego. If it was about protecting the relationship from sex with outsiders, you would've refused the girl. But, you didn't. So ... this wasn't about principle, it was about selfishness. Which doesn't reflect well on you AT ALL.

She's not the right girl. And, you're not the right guy. Thank Heavens y'all didn't bring a kid into this.



Latest Activity

Sir replied to Kiehn on you's discussion Reintroduction!
"Welcome back! We had initial complications as well, so I can relate."
1 minute ago
Kiehn on you replied to Kochak's discussion E AEEEEEEEEE !!!! Kochak here.....
4 minutes ago
Kiehn on you posted a discussion


Hey everyone! It has been a while since i have been on here. I am Devin, i am married and have a daughter. My daughter Ivy was born on tuesday (5/23/17) 5 weeks early and rushed to the NICU.I decided to come back because  I now have the time. And  have found that  this site has great wealth of knowledge and support. So hello from the NICU!DevinSee More
5 minutes ago
Cthulhu's Revenge replied to Pale Horse's discussion Best Methods for Cutting Down on Sweets
"I have a big sweet tooth but I found chewing gum helps. Also, try listening to your body instead of resisting. E.g if I crave something sweet, I have an apple or other fruit. Satisfies the sweet urge. Can't help you with drinks... I drink…"
8 minutes ago
Kochak posted a discussion

E AEEEEEEEEE !!!! Kochak here.....

Greetings gentlemen !After a year or so of just reading the articles, I finally have decided to join this great community.My name - ok... last name -  is Kochak. I'm a 22 years old designer, bass player, nerd, and a proud brazilian ( Corruption! Hooray !!! )As you can see, I also have a quite strange sense of humour...Well, that's it for now... Grato desde já,KochakSee More
22 minutes ago
Native Son added a discussion to the group Catholic Men

Presidential Diss

Any thoughts on how President Trump totally dissed Press Secretary Spicer on the recent trip?Situation was the formal Presidential audience with the Pope.Sean Spicer, who is Catholic, somehow didn't get included in the official Presidential Party.BUT, lower-ranking personnel on the White House communications staff were included.The "official word" was that the Vatican limits the number of persons in an official party.BUT, the Vatican has waived that limit, if requested, to allow catholics on…See More
22 minutes ago
Native Son replied to J. Exalto's discussion Globalism in the group The Great Debate
"My take on how the current administration views "Globalism" is this:  So long as the old man and his sons make money off the 1%, and his son-in-law makes money off the bottom 50%, it's all good--for them."
37 minutes ago
Kochak updated their profile
38 minutes ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service