I think this is an interesting and stimulating topic, relevant for the members of the AoM forum. It is about proper responses to annoying behavior and people, what is the "high-road" in dealing with them? I have noticed for example on this site, there are a few pricks on here. Guys who think they know everything, arrogant pisses, whiners and complainers, insecure losers, delusional fools, etc. I'm not homophobic, but I've also have noticed there are quite a few dandies on here too. I mean there is a guy on here who is talking about how he likes to be naked and what guys think about other naked guys. What is up with that?
Anyway, most of you guys are intelligent, good people it seems, with friendly dispositions. Guys like myself, perusing this site for insights, nuggets of useful information, writing practice, thought-provoking debate, and what-have-you. But there always seems to be in any internet forum some handful of people that are just irritating, some obnoxious elements present, real jackasses.
How do you guys deal with people you find personally offensive? What are your usual options? Is it best to ignore, mock, attack, retreat?
"How do you guys deal with people you find personally offensive? What are your usual options? Is it best to ignore, mock, attack, retreat?"
The long answer:
Step 1: Start differentiating between people who are obnoxious and people who personally offend you.
1.a) If they're just obnoxious, determine whether or not it's worth the time and effort to do something about it. Pro tip: Most of the time, it's not. It just gives them more fuel to be more obnoxious.
1.b) If "personally offensive" means that they are attacking you personally then you should stand up for yourself. If "personally offensive" means that they are saying things that offend you but they're not directed specifically at you then see 1,a) and determine if it's worth your time and effort to do anything ahout it or if it'll simply encourage more of the obnoxious or offensive behaviour.
The short answer:
-ignore any of their baiting statements
-do not initiate conversation with them
-do not allow them to initiate conversation with you
-only interact with them in the capacity of work, "hey when can you have this ready" "is this complete" "I will have this done by *** then you can have it"
-keep as many quesitons as possible to a yes or no format, get your answer and move on.
I'll mockingly humor him until he's no longer amusing. Thereafter, I'll typically disengage unless spoken to directly ... at which point my response'll be laconic.
Always remember that dealing with the obnoxious means that you will have to at time meet them head on in a conflict of wills, minds, etc. Here's the thing: never take them on in a one on one scenario. Always have others around who can witness the dealings. Squaring off one on one with someone like that really does no one any good. Having someone see the obnoxoid going off will help you get your feet underneat you and have someone who can agree with you throughout the match.
It's been my experience that obnoxious people never think they're wrong. In order to deal with them, you have to prove them wrong with an audience. Really try to steer any interaction with these people in front of a group. Do not be afraid to speak up when there are others around. As long as you're being honest and non-reactionary, the obnoxious type will show themselves as they charlatan that they are.
That is one of the most insightful and helpful advice that I have read in a while on the forum. Get them into a public situation where their incorrectness can be pointed out. Excellent.
As opposed to a private situation on a public forum? Do you think before you post or does this shit just spew out of your keyboard on its own?
Ah...Here is one of them now.
Okay, Complaining versus Complimenting...who wins there? It looks clear that I do, so me. Also, groundless Insults versus Thoughtful debate? Who wins there? Oh, me again.
Thank You Pettimore for being my practice dummy for this demonstration. I look forward to our continuing partnership.
Logic just isn't your strong suit. Well, you always have your good looks.
As for finding offensive, I cannot control anyone's actions, but I can control how I react and feel.