I think this is an interesting and stimulating topic, relevant for the members of the AoM forum. It is about proper responses to annoying behavior and people, what is the "high-road" in dealing with them? I have noticed for example on this site, there are a few pricks on here. Guys who think they know everything, arrogant pisses, whiners and complainers, insecure losers, delusional fools, etc. I'm not homophobic, but I've also have noticed there are quite a few dandies on here too. I mean there is a guy on here who is talking about how he likes to be naked and what guys think about other naked guys. What is up with that?

Anyway, most of you guys are intelligent, good people it seems, with friendly dispositions. Guys like myself, perusing this site for insights, nuggets of useful information, writing practice, thought-provoking debate, and what-have-you. But there always seems to be in any internet forum some handful of people that are just irritating, some obnoxious elements present, real jackasses.

How do you guys deal with people you find personally offensive? What are your usual options? Is it best to ignore, mock, attack, retreat?

Views: 593

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

You wont change them so either ignore or accept.

"How do you guys deal with people you find personally offensive? What are your usual options? Is it best to ignore, mock, attack, retreat?"

The long answer: 

Step 1: Start differentiating between people who are obnoxious and people who personally offend you. 

1.a) If they're just obnoxious, determine whether or not it's worth the time and effort to do something about it. Pro tip: Most of the time, it's not. It just gives them more fuel to be more obnoxious. 

1.b) If "personally offensive" means that they are attacking you personally then you should stand up for yourself. If "personally offensive" means that they are saying things that offend you but they're not directed specifically at you then see 1,a) and determine if it's worth your time and effort to do anything ahout it or if it'll simply encourage more of the obnoxious or offensive behaviour. 

The short answer: 

-ignore any of their baiting statements

-do not initiate conversation with them

-do not allow them to initiate conversation with you

-only interact with them in the capacity of work, "hey when can you have this ready"  "is this complete"  "I will have this done by *** then you can have it"

-keep as many quesitons as possible to a yes or no format, get your answer and move on.

I'll mockingly humor him until he's no longer amusing.  Thereafter, I'll typically disengage unless spoken to directly ... at which point my response'll be laconic.


JB

Always remember that dealing with the obnoxious means that you will have to at time meet them head on in a conflict of wills, minds, etc. Here's the thing: never take them on in a one on one scenario. Always have others around who can witness the dealings. Squaring off one on one with someone like that really does no one any good. Having someone see the obnoxoid going off will help you get your feet underneat you and have someone who can agree with you throughout the match.

 

It's been my experience that obnoxious people never think they're wrong. In order to deal with them, you have to prove them wrong with an audience. Really try to steer any interaction with these people in front of a group. Do not be afraid to speak up when there are others around. As long as you're being honest and non-reactionary, the obnoxious type will show themselves as they charlatan that they are.

Good stuff.

That is one of the most insightful and helpful advice that I have read in a while on the forum. Get them into a public situation where their incorrectness can be pointed out. Excellent.

As opposed to a private situation on a public forum? Do you think before you post or does this shit just spew out of your keyboard on its own?

Ah...Here is one of them now.

Okay, Complaining versus Complimenting...who wins there? It looks clear that I do, so me. Also, groundless Insults versus Thoughtful debate? Who wins there? Oh, me again.

Thank You Pettimore for being my practice dummy for this demonstration. I look forward to our continuing partnership.

Logic just isn't your strong suit. Well, you always have your good looks.

Oh, wait...

Usually ignore.

As for finding offensive, I cannot control anyone's actions, but I can control how I react and feel.

See above.

RSS

Latest Activity

Josh100LuBu replied to Ramona the Pest's discussion How Can I Entice a Reluctant Camper?
"Glamping. "
8 minutes ago
Chip replied to Ramona the Pest's discussion How Can I Entice a Reluctant Camper?
"I find that having a supply of really good food to cook over the fire - salmon steaks are my favorite - and plenty of wine helps. You may want to take baby steps by going to a state park that has cabins you can rent. Once you graduate to tent…"
13 minutes ago
Cthulhu's Revenge replied to Jon Kramer's discussion Front Squat Woes
"I'll do it as long as I can, very enjoyable. yes foam rolling does help, also with any aches after the session but they still hurt a little."
30 minutes ago
Max replied to Ramona the Pest's discussion How Can I Entice a Reluctant Camper?
"Well, showers are pretty much a requirement for people new to it, usually. Which is kind of a tall order and you'll most likely end up at one with RVs for miles. And those tiny cabin shack things.  "
55 minutes ago
Shane replied to Ramona the Pest's discussion How Can I Entice a Reluctant Camper?
"Three things; skyclad sleepware, skinny dipping, primal sex."
1 hour ago
Chimamire-no-Yuki replied to Ramona the Pest's discussion How Can I Entice a Reluctant Camper?
"Growing up I always thought camping would be so fun and exciting. Then at about 14 I went with a friend and his family. It was awful and I hated every second of it. I don't know what that means for your prospects of getting your guy to camp…"
1 hour ago
Ramona the Pest posted a discussion

How Can I Entice a Reluctant Camper?

I have a problem to ask advice about. I LOVE Camping, but my fiance does not. His idea of roughing it is to stay in a 3 star hotel instead of a 5 star. I would like him to go camping with me eventually, but he of course is not fond of that idea at all. Mind you, my whole world will not be in ruin if he never tries it, since I have a large group of friends who I can go camping with several times a year. I would just normally take my adult daughter, but she recently moved to Arizona to work and…See More
4 hours ago
Ramona the Pest replied to John Muir's discussion Producing Your Own Food
"In my own experience with making jams, I have rarely found it necessary to puree the fruit. If you cook it long enough to properly congeal it into jam, the fruit breaks down on it's own. "
5 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service