Generally speaking, how do you guys deal with disappointment. All men deal with disappointment their whole lives, from mundane things such as football scores, to more serious things like losing your job, or dealing with family tragedies.

How do you deal with disappointment as it can be a really big burden in our day to day lives and stop us functioning mentally to our best degree. I find, just putting whatever has disappointed me out of my mind and trying to focus on other things and try and achieve success somewhere else. I also find trying to pick out positives from whatever it is, however hard something has hit you, I think picking out positives can do a lot in boosting your morale.

So please, drop a response.

:) 

Tags: disappointment, mentality, positive, thinking

Views: 360

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Typically I accept the fact that I'm disappointed and I'm not going to be functioning at 100% so I go back to basics. Define what I need to do (work, etc) and focus on getting that done to a good standard and then easing off on other things for a few days or weeks (it depends on the trauma) until I'm over it. I find more rest and less stress gets me back on track fastest. 

If I try and take on too much during these periods I invariably perform everything under par. So I find it best to proactively take a step back, prioritize, lighten my schedule and be kind to myself for a little while. 

Learn from it.  If you or your actions are the source then learn, evaluate your decisions and choices and try better to see them as they show themselves in the future. 

If it is from something completely external to you then there may be nothing to be done about it, just learn to let things go.  It would be nice to see a green sunset but I cannot make this happen so I do not worry about it.

Depending on the depth of the disappointment, I allow myself a day to a week of indulgent self-pity. Then I move on. This has come with the wisdom of age. In my youth I would slip into depression, especially after a job loss. I eventually learned that every loss was a chance to reinvent myself. The last time I was told I was being let go, I was positively ecstatic.

I think this is dead on.  Part wants to grieve.  Let it -- but don't let it take over.

I just go to nature.  In the past, my response to tragedy for myself or my friends has simply been to go camping.  Like if a friend's parents got divorced or I broke up with a girlfriend, it was camping time.  I still employ this whenever I'm down.  I'm going to quote from the book Allan Quatermain, by Haggard, for this one:

"So, when the heart is stricken, and the head is humbled in the
dust, civilization fails us utterly. Back, back, we creep, and
lay us like little children on the great breast of Nature, she
that perchance may soothe us and make us forget, or at least
rid remembrance of its sting. Who has not in his great grief
felt a longing to look upon the outward features of the universal
Mother; to lie on the mountains and watch the clouds drive across
the sky and hear the rollers break in thunder on the shore, to
let his poor struggling life mingle for a while in her life;
to feel the slow beat of her eternal heart, and to forget his
woes, and let his identity be swallowed in the vast imperceptibly
moving energy of her of whom we are, from whom we came, and with
whom we shall again be mingled, who gave us birth, and will in
a day to come give us our burial also."

First thing you have to come to grips with: There is no brass ring in life. None of us get everything we want, most of us never even come close. Even when we do, there's generally a cloud for every silver lining. Disappointment ranks up there with death and taxes on the inevitability scale.

For me, coming to grips with that fact took a good part of my late teens and twenties. Then I realized something real simple. If you can change the outcome, or fix the problem, do it. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't dwell on should'ves or could'ves. If you can't change the outcome, and there's nothing you can do to solve the problem then. . .move on. It isn't a problem if you can't fix it. It's just life. Get busy, do something else, go after some other goal, and eventually, the sting will go away.

Get busy and move on

Depends on what I am disappointed about. 

RSS

Latest Activity

Tim Dienes replied to Tim Dienes's discussion Our Core of Masculinity in the group The Poetry Club
"Thanks. Glad to hear that someone is reading it."
1 minute ago
Tom Cornell joined Stephen Larsen's group
Thumbnail

Banya Men!

Though they aren't common in the United States, Jjimjilbangs, Banyas, Onsens, and Hamams are a great places to hang out.  This is a group for men comfortable in their own skin and appreciate the eastern ideas of public bath houses.See More
9 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Michael Nuta's discussion Blazer question?
"OTOH,  I went to high school with some fellows who were sartorial individualist.  One guy wore Deerstalker cap (Think Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes) and an Ulster overcoat virtually all the time.  One college buddy (politically to…"
19 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Hannah Carroll's discussion Rows and Bros- The Manly Art of Knitting??
"Of course you can knit with wire.  Unfortunately, this will not result in usable chain mail.  It will look neat, but the soft wire required for knitting won't provide any protection."
24 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Hannah Carroll's discussion Rows and Bros- The Manly Art of Knitting??
"Divergences aside.   Knitting and crocheting and,yes, macrame are necessary skills for the seaman.  As is sewing. In the sailing ship days, you had to know it, because other than "the slop chest" you had to make and mend your…"
27 minutes ago
Tom Cornell joined Steven C.'s group
Thumbnail

Exercise

Exercise is a crucial part of maintaining a manly physique. Join up to share ideas, get support and discuss plans with other men.See More
38 minutes ago
Dann Anthony replied to Dann Anthony's discussion Heavy diagnosis - looking for manly advice.
"Thanks Tom - good advice - I'm doing just as you said and keeping it close to the vest. Close friends only. No casual acquaintances, storekeeps, clients, etc. I don't wanna be The Walking Dead. Would rather be despised than pitied. :] "
1 hour ago
Dann Anthony replied to Michael Nuta's discussion Blazer question?
"Special occasion kind o'jacket. Absolutely! You're never too young for that, but wise to conserve. G'head and get it."
1 hour ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service