Generally speaking, how do you guys deal with disappointment. All men deal with disappointment their whole lives, from mundane things such as football scores, to more serious things like losing your job, or dealing with family tragedies.

How do you deal with disappointment as it can be a really big burden in our day to day lives and stop us functioning mentally to our best degree. I find, just putting whatever has disappointed me out of my mind and trying to focus on other things and try and achieve success somewhere else. I also find trying to pick out positives from whatever it is, however hard something has hit you, I think picking out positives can do a lot in boosting your morale.

So please, drop a response.

:) 

Tags: disappointment, mentality, positive, thinking

Views: 338

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

It all depends on what the source of the disappointment is from. You have to decide if you have control on any aspect of your disappointment and what you can do to reverse your feelings. If the sports team that you support loses a game well I'm sorry but you can have no influence on that. If it's a team you play for I'd say improve on your performance and try to inspire others. On the case of family tragedies it can be hard to take any positives out of the initial lose, apart from happy positive memories, the only thing you can do is become a positive influence on those around you and recognise the good you are doing in helping others with their grief and this will help you understand your own feelings of lose.

 

In short I think it's important to understand what influence you can have on a situation in reversing what has happened. If you have no influence or involvement over what has just happened then it can't be that bad.

 

I hope this has helped

Typically I accept the fact that I'm disappointed and I'm not going to be functioning at 100% so I go back to basics. Define what I need to do (work, etc) and focus on getting that done to a good standard and then easing off on other things for a few days or weeks (it depends on the trauma) until I'm over it. I find more rest and less stress gets me back on track fastest. 

If I try and take on too much during these periods I invariably perform everything under par. So I find it best to proactively take a step back, prioritize, lighten my schedule and be kind to myself for a little while. 

Learn from it.  If you or your actions are the source then learn, evaluate your decisions and choices and try better to see them as they show themselves in the future. 

If it is from something completely external to you then there may be nothing to be done about it, just learn to let things go.  It would be nice to see a green sunset but I cannot make this happen so I do not worry about it.

Depending on the depth of the disappointment, I allow myself a day to a week of indulgent self-pity. Then I move on. This has come with the wisdom of age. In my youth I would slip into depression, especially after a job loss. I eventually learned that every loss was a chance to reinvent myself. The last time I was told I was being let go, I was positively ecstatic.

I think this is dead on.  Part wants to grieve.  Let it -- but don't let it take over.

I just go to nature.  In the past, my response to tragedy for myself or my friends has simply been to go camping.  Like if a friend's parents got divorced or I broke up with a girlfriend, it was camping time.  I still employ this whenever I'm down.  I'm going to quote from the book Allan Quatermain, by Haggard, for this one:

"So, when the heart is stricken, and the head is humbled in the
dust, civilization fails us utterly. Back, back, we creep, and
lay us like little children on the great breast of Nature, she
that perchance may soothe us and make us forget, or at least
rid remembrance of its sting. Who has not in his great grief
felt a longing to look upon the outward features of the universal
Mother; to lie on the mountains and watch the clouds drive across
the sky and hear the rollers break in thunder on the shore, to
let his poor struggling life mingle for a while in her life;
to feel the slow beat of her eternal heart, and to forget his
woes, and let his identity be swallowed in the vast imperceptibly
moving energy of her of whom we are, from whom we came, and with
whom we shall again be mingled, who gave us birth, and will in
a day to come give us our burial also."

First thing you have to come to grips with: There is no brass ring in life. None of us get everything we want, most of us never even come close. Even when we do, there's generally a cloud for every silver lining. Disappointment ranks up there with death and taxes on the inevitability scale.

For me, coming to grips with that fact took a good part of my late teens and twenties. Then I realized something real simple. If you can change the outcome, or fix the problem, do it. Don't feel sorry for yourself, don't dwell on should'ves or could'ves. If you can't change the outcome, and there's nothing you can do to solve the problem then. . .move on. It isn't a problem if you can't fix it. It's just life. Get busy, do something else, go after some other goal, and eventually, the sting will go away.

Get busy and move on

Depends on what I am disappointed about. 

RSS

Latest Activity

John Lee Pettimore replied to Chu Kim's discussion How Bad Do You Go to Achieve Good for Yourself?
"Why do you care?"
3 minutes ago
John Lee Pettimore replied to Will's discussion What's going on in those heads in the group The Great Debate
"Le Petomane Thruway?! Now what'll that asshole think of next? Does anybody got a dime? Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes! "
6 minutes ago
Tarquin Anstruther replied to Regular Joe's discussion Responsibility Towards A Brother
"My brother lived at home with my parents until he was 30 and then left home to get married. He is 58 now and has got through life without boiling an egg, his wife gave up on trying to domesticate him, how bad is that? some guys never date or marry…"
46 minutes ago
Chu Kim posted a discussion

How Bad Do You Go to Achieve Good for Yourself?

Personally, I have come to the conclusion that to be a nice person, with a sense of honor, and to show courtesy, good manners, and self-restraint are desirable, preferable behaviors, and this kind of approach should generally be adopted and practiced in everyday life. In most matters, or at least for others' peoples perceptions of you, the guiding principle should be to do what you feel is right, fair, and just, and to behave in a polite, friendly, and respectful manner.Now, here is the…See More
2 hours ago
Native Son replied to Regular Joe's discussion Responsibility Towards A Brother
"It may quite simply be that your brother, as much as you love him, is at bottom, a user.  And your parents are his enablers. I've know users who will rely on a combination of expressed self-worthlessness, self-inability to "do…"
3 hours ago
Liam Strain replied to Titus Techera's discussion Who's afraid of radical change? in the group The Great Debate
"Incidentally, one of my son's favorite books. "
3 hours ago
Chu Kim replied to Henry H.'s discussion Skills Groups
"The main problem with forming this kind of group, is that everyone who is interested and willing is living far apart from each other. Pretty much you have to do something like this online, in a forum type of environment like this one. That…"
3 hours ago
Native Son replied to Titus Techera's discussion Who's afraid of radical change? in the group The Great Debate
"I recall an author who described the "founders" of most European noble houses as guys possessed of a strong right arm and a eye on the main chance."
3 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service