Any thoughts on what the difference is or if there is a difference between dating and courtship? 

Views: 1037

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Yes, if only because those who use the term "courtship" almost invariably seek to differentiate it from what they consider to be "dating".

In our culture, courtship is a form of dating that is able to function only within certain subcultures.  It presumes certain family structures and relationships that are absent from the lives of many who participate in the broader culture of dating.

To me, the main difference is that courtship is a subset of dating - specifically dating with the intent of deciding whether or not to marry a specific lady.  Although I can see arguments for including dating after an engagement as well.

So maybe something like, courtship is dating with marriage intent? 

I think that's part of it, but from what I have seen proponents of courtship emphasize family involvement (in particular the father's permission) at least as much as they do marriage intent. 

If you have to ask the fathers permission to date then you are too young to marry. 

It is as simple as that.

Dating to just enjoy a good day/ evening with some one is how you find someone you want to settle down with.  I did not realize I want to marry my wife until I realized I was moving across the country and if I expected her to join me she needed to have a ring to provide her the assurance to join me.  After nine years of marriage we are still best friends and happy we married.

Not in the subcultures (mostly evangelical Christian, at least in the States) where courtship has become popular.  The prospective couple can be well into their twenties and still need to proceed with the family's (specifically the father's) approval.

Thanks for pointing that out. I do not come from this subculture and am always curious how others live and how they see life.

At what point in these subcultures are (evangelical christian) are children considered adults?

Is fathers approval required for the male as well as the female children to be courted?

 

If I remember Harris' book correctly, it's just the woman's father who needs to give permission. In Harris' mind, it's about the man showing the maturity to be thinking and acting independently, and there being a double protection for the woman - first the man asking should have her best interests at heart, and her father. (except for the practicalities, this attitude wasn't part of my main problem with the books)

Bear in mind that this practice is confined to a subset of evangelical Christians, so it's only practiced by a faction of a fraction.

While I don't keep close tabs on developments within the courtship movement (for lack of a better term) I think it has proven to be something of a fad because of its impracticality for many people.  It is much more feasible if young women live with their parents as part of a close-knit family and if the young man is part of the same community.  But it breaks down when distance and family trouble are introduced (as in, it becomes difficult or impossible, instead of simply rejected by a young couple).

I'm from that subculture, and I've never heard of anyone old enough to live on his/her own needing parental permission to date.  Advice, yes, and I have the impression that millennials are way more likely to listen to such advice than Gen X'ers.

Rev. Harris did talk to the eventual Mrs. Harris' father before they started courting. The father was 2,000 miles away from his daughter, and not a Christian. I don't know how many couples followed Harris' advice/example. The examples I remember from "Boy Meets Girl" (which was published several years after "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," so was able to include anecdotes of people who took to hear the first book) and press about the books were of younger couples.

Maybe some of my Catholic college friends got fathers' permission to start dating, at college age.

Thanks for the perspective.  Personally I asked for permission to marry but not to date, so that idea surprised me.

I believe that in the modern age "courtship" is just a 10 dollar word for dating. I suppose you could stretch it a bit and say that courtship would be dating the girlfriend vs that period where you two are dating but not necessarily to the point where you have established that the two of you are exclusively dating each other.

RSS

Latest Activity

Josh Allen posted a video

2014 Mr England Bodybuilding Championships (HD)

Some clips of me in the competition.
4 minutes ago
Josh Allen replied to Josh Allen's discussion My Fathers Bodybuilding Progress Leading Towards The 2014 Championships.
"Yes Tarquin, believe it or not it is hard work to get into competitive bodybuilding shape at any age let alone 52. I bet you have never been below 5% bodyfat in your life. "
7 minutes ago
Elon Erani commented on Badabing's group Wrestling Fight Club
"George you the man! The other men in the tournament must have been afraid of you. Keep up the good work."
11 minutes ago
Profile IconElon Erani and Michael J. K. joined Ian Wilson's group
Thumbnail

Out to Build Bridges

This is a GSRM (Gender Sexual Romantic Minorities or LGBTQ+) group.  But And straight men and cis-men are encouraged to join as well.However, unlike the already established AoM group "Gay and Bisexual Men", this group is wide open, no privacy settings enabled.  The overall purpose of the group is to encourage conversations between the straight and non-straight communities.  This already happens in AoM, but it is scattered.  And it can't happen in the private "Gay and Bisexual Men" group.Debate…See More
30 minutes ago
George Henry Robbins III commented on Badabing's group Wrestling Fight Club
"Thanks Michael. I forgot to mention I won the overall title too. In the final bout I beat a guy who weighed 40 lbs. more than me."
31 minutes ago
Tarquin Anstruther replied to John Gardiner's discussion Loveto be naked
"I swim naked with a couple of friends and I went on an all male yoga retreat for a week during the summer where we were naked quite a lot by the pool and being naked certainly made me more at ease with my body. I'm married and obviously naked…"
1 hour ago
Lucas Fialho replied to John Gardiner's discussion Loveto be naked
"Well, i think that if you want to be naked with other people but not sexual involved you need to be fine with your physicall apearence up because its not sexually!. Maybe be nude in front of others is thing that you famalliarize by actually doing…"
2 hours ago
Michael J. K. replied to John Gardiner's discussion Loveto be naked
"all nudists are not gay   that said there is nothing wrong with our bodies or being naked or being in a thong we may not all look good in skimpy swm attire but it happens.    feeling good about ones body no matter how many clothes are…"
5 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service