Any thoughts on what the difference is or if there is a difference between dating and courtship? 

Views: 1194

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Yes, if only because those who use the term "courtship" almost invariably seek to differentiate it from what they consider to be "dating".

In our culture, courtship is a form of dating that is able to function only within certain subcultures.  It presumes certain family structures and relationships that are absent from the lives of many who participate in the broader culture of dating.

To me, the main difference is that courtship is a subset of dating - specifically dating with the intent of deciding whether or not to marry a specific lady.  Although I can see arguments for including dating after an engagement as well.

So maybe something like, courtship is dating with marriage intent? 

I think that's part of it, but from what I have seen proponents of courtship emphasize family involvement (in particular the father's permission) at least as much as they do marriage intent. 

If you have to ask the fathers permission to date then you are too young to marry. 

It is as simple as that.

Dating to just enjoy a good day/ evening with some one is how you find someone you want to settle down with.  I did not realize I want to marry my wife until I realized I was moving across the country and if I expected her to join me she needed to have a ring to provide her the assurance to join me.  After nine years of marriage we are still best friends and happy we married.

Not in the subcultures (mostly evangelical Christian, at least in the States) where courtship has become popular.  The prospective couple can be well into their twenties and still need to proceed with the family's (specifically the father's) approval.

Thanks for pointing that out. I do not come from this subculture and am always curious how others live and how they see life.

At what point in these subcultures are (evangelical christian) are children considered adults?

Is fathers approval required for the male as well as the female children to be courted?

 

If I remember Harris' book correctly, it's just the woman's father who needs to give permission. In Harris' mind, it's about the man showing the maturity to be thinking and acting independently, and there being a double protection for the woman - first the man asking should have her best interests at heart, and her father. (except for the practicalities, this attitude wasn't part of my main problem with the books)

Bear in mind that this practice is confined to a subset of evangelical Christians, so it's only practiced by a faction of a fraction.

While I don't keep close tabs on developments within the courtship movement (for lack of a better term) I think it has proven to be something of a fad because of its impracticality for many people.  It is much more feasible if young women live with their parents as part of a close-knit family and if the young man is part of the same community.  But it breaks down when distance and family trouble are introduced (as in, it becomes difficult or impossible, instead of simply rejected by a young couple).

I'm from that subculture, and I've never heard of anyone old enough to live on his/her own needing parental permission to date.  Advice, yes, and I have the impression that millennials are way more likely to listen to such advice than Gen X'ers.

Rev. Harris did talk to the eventual Mrs. Harris' father before they started courting. The father was 2,000 miles away from his daughter, and not a Christian. I don't know how many couples followed Harris' advice/example. The examples I remember from "Boy Meets Girl" (which was published several years after "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," so was able to include anecdotes of people who took to hear the first book) and press about the books were of younger couples.

Maybe some of my Catholic college friends got fathers' permission to start dating, at college age.

Thanks for the perspective.  Personally I asked for permission to marry but not to date, so that idea surprised me.

I believe that in the modern age "courtship" is just a 10 dollar word for dating. I suppose you could stretch it a bit and say that courtship would be dating the girlfriend vs that period where you two are dating but not necessarily to the point where you have established that the two of you are exclusively dating each other.

RSS

Latest Activity

Forge replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"From the text of the executive order: Notwithstanding the temporary suspension imposed pursuant to subsection (a) of this section, the Secretaries of State and Homeland Security may jointly determine to admit individuals to the United States as…"
9 minutes ago
Gentleman Engineer replied to Lucca Bozzi's discussion Navigating the Career Path
"Which would be the wattage of said wallet?"
21 minutes ago
Dominic replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"There are tens of thousands of refugees fleeing persecution, war, famine, and death. What is a statistical blip to you, is a mother, a father, a son, a daughter--human beings who are subjected to the worst that humans can do to one another, and all…"
28 minutes ago
Forge replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"I guess the underlying premise, that they have a right to be able to come here, isn't in my argument. There are so many other things we could be worrying about, like the 25 million North Koreans, that really the couple thousand refugees that…"
35 minutes ago
Forge replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"What does that actually have to do with the matter? Because we have a high standard for entry we shouldn't consider refining or pausing the inflow while we work with other nations (who are not currently assisting us in the vetting process), to…"
2 hours ago
Clinton R. Ausmus replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"If you spent 3 years trying to get somewhere and someone told you that because you come from a certain place, not only are you not getting in right now, but you might not get in at all, how would you feel? Not to mention, in some cases these folks…"
3 hours ago
Forge replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"Ok, so in spending 3 years of vetting, another 90 days will be that big of a deal? Remember, we're dealing specifically with countries that are NOT cooperating with the vetting process. Personally, I'd prefer we waited longer and had a…"
3 hours ago
Clinton R. Ausmus replied to Native Son's discussion The Current Travel Mess. in the group The Great Debate
"What Obama did was a slow down, not a pause, and certainly not a "ban".  There were still people coming in while the "slow down" was in effect.  No one spent 3 years going through the process, only to be told during the…"
3 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service