"very cool shots. thanks. i played with light painting years ago with my film cameras. i haven't tried it with my DSLRs yet.
i did the math in my head and figured that ISO can be flexible. go low cause you are gonna burn…"
Crush on another girl...
Boy do I feel like a... well, a boy.
I snooped around the old flame's FB profile today and the feelings came flooding back. Knew her back in high school and had a major crush on her. Whatever the reason, probably cause I hadn't manned up at the time, I never went for it - though it was obvious the feeling was reciprocated. But we went our separate ways after graduation and haven't spoken since, but naturally so. Things just died down and we weren't the best of friends, so communication slowed to zero.
Problem is, I'm in a happy long-term relationship with a girl I admire very much. Well. Ok... the relationship has been a little... stale as of late, but I have no interest in ending it now. It'd be a shock to both of us to do so, and it would absolutely break and crush her heart. The flame is dying down for sure, but it's no time to sweep out the ashes yet. I figure that is the natural progression for a relationship of +3 years; that is, that euphoria of the first year or so never holds up forever. I enjoy spending time with her - but it's not totally all there.
The thought of "what if..." never quite escapes. My greatest fear is that the old crush has me on a downward spiral. I don't want to start focusing on the negatives of my current relationship. She has put on a few pounds, she has become more passive in the relationship, stop it, stop it, cursed wandering mind! I would love for the relationship to stay strong forever, I really would. The thoughts of raising a family with this girl, building a home and settling down are certainly not as frequent, but are still there.
But the old crush lingers. How madly I want to Add Friend and see what happens... per human nature.
I've hit a speed bump on the road of being a man. How to I uphold my manliness in this situation? How do I get rid of these feelings for this old crush? I want to get my mind back on my girl... or do I need to really reassess my current relationship? What do you gentlemen do to keep the wandering mind at bay?
I snooped around the old flame's FB profile today and the feelings came flooding back. Knew her back in high school and had a major crush on her. Whatever the reason, probably cause I hadn't manned up at the time, I never went for it - though it was obvious the feeling was reciprocated. But we went our separate ways after graduation and haven't spoken since, but naturally so. Things just died down and we weren't the best of friends, so communication slowed to zero.
Problem is, I'm in a happy long-term relationship with a girl I admire very much. Well. Ok... the relationship has been a little... stale as of late, but I have no interest in ending it now. It'd be a shock to both of us to do so, and it would absolutely break and crush her heart. The flame is dying down for sure, but it's no time to sweep out the ashes yet. I figure that is the natural progression for a relationship of +3 years; that is, that euphoria of the first year or so never holds up forever. I enjoy spending time with her - but it's not totally all there.
The thought of "what if..." never quite escapes. My greatest fear is that the old crush has me on a downward spiral. I don't want to start focusing on the negatives of my current relationship. She has put on a few pounds, she has become more passive in the relationship, stop it, stop it, cursed wandering mind! I would love for the relationship to stay strong forever, I really would. The thoughts of raising a family with this girl, building a home and settling down are certainly not as frequent, but are still there.
But the old crush lingers. How madly I want to Add Friend and see what happens... per human nature.
I've hit a speed bump on the road of being a man. How to I uphold my manliness in this situation? How do I get rid of these feelings for this old crush? I want to get my mind back on my girl... or do I need to really reassess my current relationship? What do you gentlemen do to keep the wandering mind at bay?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nick H on -
The hunt ends when you find the right one. Will you still be attracted to other women? Sure. You're not dead. But as Paul Newman once said, "why go for hamburgers when you got steak at home?"
Some guys do run around on their spouses, other beat theirs too. Neither are what I'd call a man.
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Permalink Reply by Brandon Michael on -
PATRICE O'NEIL ON CHEATING:
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Permalink Reply by Nick H on
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Your old crush is just you looking over the fence and admiring how green the grass is. She isn't the issue. The issue is that you are in a relationship you don't want to be in. Not wanting to end a relationship because it would be a shock to both of you is hardly the reason to keep it going. Likewise, if things have fizzled like you claim I doubt you ending it will be as devastating to her as you might think.
As for what would a man do. He'd either stop letting his mind stray to other women or he'd break up with the one he's currently with and not interested in (thereby freeing her to find someone who is).
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Permalink Reply by Suburban Sentinel on -
+1, you're either a 100% in or 100% out, there is no in between. On a side note my grandaddy would say "the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to cut."
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Permalink Reply by Brandon Michael on
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Plus, grass is grass. Someone is tired of mowing that lawn too and lookin at your lawn with envy. Someone is tired of mowin Natalie Portman's lawn, someone is tired of mowin January Jones' lawn, etc, etc.
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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on -
If I had an opportunity to mow either of those lawns I'd buy a mower...
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Permalink Reply by Stan on -
A wise man once told me "The grass is always greener because there's a lot of s**t spread around over there..."
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Permalink Reply by Nathanael on -
A large part of what keeps my mind from wandering too far is that what I have with my wife is a reality while whatever might-have-been or might-be is strictly conjectural. We have a life together that we're actually living, instead of a fantasy. We have real accomplishments and serious plans, not mere imaginings. In short, I'm too busy living life with the woman I married to give much thought to this or that other lady.
But this required commitment, closing off other possibilities to fully place myself into one relationship. You haven't done that. You toy with the idea, but that's all. Your thoughts of settling down with her are only thoughts, not plans you're working toward realizing. In short, what's needed is action. Put crudely, shit or get off the pot. I don't know your situation, but it's time to either start planning a future with the girl you've been with for over three years, or to go your separate ways.
Buy a ring or break up? Not quite, but after three years you should be thinking about it, not as an idle fantasy, but as a real decision to make. What, if anything, would need to be done before you could settle down with her? How do her goals for marriage, family, career, etc... comport with yours? Right now it sounds like your relationship isn't going anywhere. It isn't ending, but it isn't moving either. Change that. Either move forward, or end it.
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Permalink Reply by Bryant Herrera on -
If you love the girl your with, but not enough to not move the relationship forward (marry her) and/or stop having fantasies about others. Then set this girl free. Your not crazy in love with her. Set her free to find that for herself. Also, free yourself for the same reasons.
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Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on -
Newsflash: RELATIONSHIPS GET STALE.
Try being married to someone for 17 years. I have a happy marriage and it still aint easy some days.
It's work keeping it interesting, no matter how perfect you feel you set out.
Also, imagine the situation flipped; your partner finds an old crush on FB, maybe she's mooning over his page as I type.
What would you want her to do?
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Permalink Reply by John Galt on -
Sex doesn't last. Relationships built on a deeper connection do. Call me a hypocrite since I'm single and I have no desire to change that anytime soon, but I've been around the block a time or two. You'll know when you've found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. The foundation of your relationship with her is going to be far more than mere physical attraction.
If/when one of you stabs the other in the back is an entirely different can of worms that I won't open here.
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