I'll get straight to the point, over the last month my life has imploded. I've personally intervened, in person, in two attempted suicides. I have a grandfather I idolize now in hospice care, my girlfriend of 2 years left me for someone else, my close circle of friends have just gone after each other like gossiping High School students, and as a result my Grades and cash has suffered hard (well it is college, so I guess the cash part doesn't surprise me). Now I'm not looking to write a sob story, I want to lend gravity to when I ask for some advice on what to do. I normally excel at taking things like this in stride but everything back to back has destroyed me. I'm far from any rational mindset and would like to know if anyone here could offer advice on how to get back on my feet and get into a productive life again, can't stand to let this pattern keep up.
My advice while not directly related to your issues, but will have a positive impact on your midset, Start focusing on improving yourself:
1. Workout as many days as you can (minimum of 3 and max of 6) preferably mixing in some boxing or a contact sport.
2. Go hiking (being in nature has been proven to reduce cortisol and blood pressure).
After doing 1 & 2,
3. Figure out how to increase income even if it is busing tables for cash or doing lawn maintenance.
Awesome! So glad to hear you're getting your life back together again! (After the circumstances you've been through, it's not easy, but you're doing it with flying colors!) Keep it up and always remember that we will be here for you.
Hi, Devon---Well, first of all, don't be too hard on yourself. True, you don't want to allow yourself to be weak-minded or self-pampering, but you've got to recognize that when life deals us some tough blows, we do get rattled and sometimes have to re-group and re-focus after temporary set-backs. And that's okay---we can't always just "tough it out" and expect to stay on an even keel without stopping to take care of ourselves.
It's time for a break and a change of scenery. If I were you, I'd take two days off, even if I had to carve out some convenient time by skipping some classes or taking some time off work (do you have Christmas break coming?) and go do something completely out of your routine---something you don't normally do (and usually wouldn't think of). This doesn't have to be expensive---go to a nearby city and hang out---go to the zoo, a museum, a bookstore with a cappuccino bar, a park with a nature reserve--whatever you normally would NOT do. Along the way, go to a restaurant you wouldn't normally go to, a mall you don't usually visit, some store that's out of the ordinary for you---and buy yourself a little something. What's this all about? It's called breaking away and re-grouping. You're going to be all right---you'll be happy again, and you're going to be able to cope and deal with things--but be nice to yourself. You've got to get away, think things through, and sort some things out.
Re-examine your priorities, goals, and ambitions--get refocused on them and start putting one foot in front of the other towards those things--but along the way, do something else--focus on making other people happy every single day while you're going through this difficult time. That's right---plot, plan, or scheme some way to make a couple of people's day every day. Sound cheesy, especially at a time like this? It's AMAZING how effective this is, so don't discount it. Go out of your way, but find some way EVERY day to brighten the world for a couple of people a day---a small gift, and unexpected compliment, a note of appreciation, an unexpected act of kindness (secret is better)--this creates a lot of positive re-bound energy (again, I know that sounds cheesy, but trust me on this)--it won't be long before your own "funk" will be over and life will move on.
Let us know how you're doing.
Fantastic advice, and thank you everybody for responding! Things have been working out, I'm making cash again, I've been working out just as much as back when I enlisted, I've signed up for more classes, and with my new lease on life I've moved on to other women with much greater success than I had ever thought, and all the advice here has helped :) Thanks again!!