Hello!

I'm 22 and am going through what I believe to be a kind of rough patch as far as friendly relationships go.

Growing up, I had tons of close friends who I spent virtually all of my time with. I once was a lazy late-teenager with a small amount of "goals" and really no direction of where my life was headed. Surrounded by me were "friends" with the same kind of things going on. We all hung out, drank, did stupid things, etc, etc.

Taking the short fast forward to now, I have changed quite a bit. I am in college pursuing a degree and my hobbies include personal finance, health, grooming,  and fitness. I am in a relationship with a great girl and have been for nearly 4 years. She has definitely aided in my somewhat "transformation" and we are very happy.

Since I decided to get my "stuff" together, I have become very disconnected with just about all of my previous friends. While I am quite busy working and going to school, it has dawned on me that through trying to keep these friendships up, that I simply just don't have anything in common with them anymore. They are still stuck (if not even more so) in the same stage we were a few years ago with even less of a direction in life. Drinking, drugs, and working at a near minimum wage job seem to be all that is cared about and I am just so sick of it.

I guess my question (although venting was a big motivation for this post) is where can a guy like me meet friends? I go to a small community college and work with the same kind of people as previously mentioned. I know I sound like a very judgmental guy with incredibly high expectations of people, but that isn't it. I'm just looking for close friends who you can actually have a conversation with instead of just drinking and talking about useless things.

Thanks for your time men!

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Zach,

David Francois is exactly right. I am 22 and have been in the exact same situation since I started college.

The secret is to be continue to be yourself around them. They are your friends and they need you. But don't let them pull you into "their" world. Pull them into yours. You may have to do this on a one-on-one basis at first, because in a group all at once it can be awkward. But recently, one such friend of mine (and the others to varying extents) confided to me that I am the one person his age whom he can talk to and feel like he is having an intelligent conversation. Discuss with them things that are relevant to you (perhaps even of universal relevance), and you may find that, deep down, these things are relevant to them as well.

Best wishes.

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