I don't mean to get lude but this post will contain some descriptions with strong, maybe vulgar, language. Just a word of warning. It's to emphasize my confusion at this woman's behaviour.
I'm trying to figure out this woman I'm seeing. She's great. She's awesome. She's my everything and in many ways I can see us being together indefinitely. But, sexually, she confuses the hell out of me. The night we met, the very first night, we went out for a walk and transitioned during the course of the evening from holding hands to wrapped in arms to making out like teenagers on a couch in a room full of people, to really making the hell out in her car culminating with me going down on her in the most awkward yet effective cunniligus session I've performed to date. She came hard and I only suffered minor injuries. It wasn't even a date to begin with, we happened to meet at a gathering of common friends. But it became a date. The result of that first date, 3rd base? I'm really not sure: she didn't reciprocate.
Next date, we go out for music and dancing. We end up making out again, hot and heavy, on the dance floor, in a room full of people. The band was background to our lust. We ended up back at my car and were making it hard there again. She mounted up, pulled up her skirt, we dry humped and I fingered her. I took off her shirt, she loved it, I pulled out a rubber: "I don't want to have sex." OK, that's fine, we're in my car on a road in the middle wherever. You're bare chested, my fingers smell like vagina and my pants have a big wet spot on them. I fully understand if you don't want to do that here. We went at it a bit longer and ended up at her place where I spent the night. I gave her a few screaming orgasms (I'm good with my tongue as every man should be) and she got me off too with a pretty wicked hand job, but again.. she didn't go down. But she does have pretty amazing technique with her hands, I must say.
So, a couple dates later we're back at my place and just, again, getting each other off repeatedly. I was delaying during her hand job as I thought maybe she wanted evidence I could control myself and not shoot straight down her throat or something. After 15 minutes or so, she seemed frustrated. I whispered to her ear, "will you go down?" She responded, "thank you, I appreciate that, but I won't." I know what she does for a living and it involves manipulating language. Every word is carefully chosen. What does what she said mean? So fine, that was that and I haven't brought it up again.
One last incident and we're caught up to the present. We took a shower together and were really going heavy in there. It was hot. She let me pin her against the wall as I used her soapy butt cheeks for a semi-hump. She seemed to love it. I rubbed her clitoris with my shaft. She loved it. I whispered into her ear again, knowing that this was a much safer and comfortable environment for her, "yes or no?" She took an agonizing amount of time to respond, "Thank you, I appreciate that (those words again!), but I'm not ready." I of course respect her boundaries and took it no further than that. She allowed me to finish using her soapy breasts. In fact, she suggested it, unsure whether or not I would like to hump her soapy breasts. It was something she wanted to do.
I don't understand this behaviour. I really don't get it. I can (and have) four-fingered her, one step away from a full fist. I've humped her breasts and her ass (without anal entry). She'll get it on in a car, let me grope her lustfully in a crowded room full of people as I probe her throat with my tongue and crotch and breasts with my hands and fingers. Yet she won't go down and she won't, as she puts it, "have sex." Personally I consider manual and oral genital stimulation as part of having sex, so those words don't quite resonate with me. But, I know she means coitus which is the more common definition. I, again, just consider it one of a number of ways of getting off during the core of a sexual experience. Anyway.
What's going on here? Any ideas? She's now set a couple boundaries and I'm not sure how to approach them. Is there anything I can do to emphasize just how badly I want to feel her tongue on me? Do I wait for her to initiate coitus or do I ask again when we're deeper into our relationship?
Thank you. =]
Alright, lets start with some person growth before anyone tries to deal with this gong show. Why, Mr. Attacks, do you think that this post has been viewed approximately 100 times and has 0 (well, 1 now) replies?
In my opinion this is why many relationships fail; you put sex before communication. Why are you asking us? This is something the two of you should be talking about.
I think it's hilarious you start with "she's my everything...i can see us together indefinitely..." and then don't actually talk about anything related to a relationship.
I found it more amusing that he used all kinds of language throughout the post then ended it by using "coitus". Someone's been watching too much Big Bang Theory.
She doesn't want to screw yet, deal with it
Wow, are you getting off? Is she getting off? Then that's a good thing without possible unintended side effects.
She may be waiting for marriage to have sex and not like going down herself. If you like to do it to her then that's fine, you both enjoy it so no big deal.
Enjoy what you got and if it develops into something more (the relationship not the sex) then good, if not neither one of you will be left with something more than they bargained for.
I have nothing constructive to add here, it's pretty well been said. So this is pretty much just an "Allen was here" post.
Perhaps you don't have enough equipment...lol... JK dude to get butt hurt. I think your girl is a freak. Maybe she has an old man and in her sick female mind doesn't think shes cheating.... Women are hard to figure out. Trust me I've been through 7 sets of furniture and I still can't figure em out!!!
You. Stop. What the hell are you doing? Your miniature erotic novel up there is cool, bro, but ice your balls for a minute because we need to talk. The two distinct impressions I get here are that you're new to this whole "sexual activity" thing and/or your hormones are off the god damned charts.
Talk to her, stupid. If she's everything and you can totally be together forever and get a house in the country with 7 kids and a dog named "Buddy" who wears a bandana, then discussing what you want to do with your sausage stick shouldn't be difficult.
Really though, there's nothing complicated going on here. She doesn't want to go all the way because she considers vaginal sex more than just way way to achieve orgasm, and I'm inclined to agree with her. She doesn't want it in her mouth because, dude, that's gross, yo.
So to conclude, my advice to discuss your feelings, respect her boundaries, learn some new masturbation techniques, and get over it, because seriously, you're being selfish.
Talk to her, stupid.