This is my first post on AoM, but I have been reading it for quite a while. Since it seems like people from all walks of life post here, I am hoping someone can shed some light on my situation.
I'm currently 26, live in Los Angeles (I moved here about 3 years ago from upstate NY), work at a creative agency making fairly low income, live with my girlfriend of 8 years and have a few friends out here that I hang out with from time to time.
The problem is, I am completely bored and un-enthused with everything. I couldn't care less about my job and have no reason to stay in LA other than stay here for my girlfriend. I honestly can't figure out what to do to help this situation. I bought a motorcycle, play guitar with people on occasion, go hiking, exercise, travel for work sometimes etc. Still nothing, just bored and empty.
Anyone ever run into this and have some words or wisdom here?
Not trying to patronise you , but if your job is something you can get back or replace with something just as mundane later , do some voluntary work in another country for people that have far less than you . You might see your life and your prospects in a different light .
I have thought about that since I do recognize and remind myself that I am a lot better off than a lot of other people out there. I was gathering information about joining the peace corp at one point but ended up trying to get into grad school instead.
I don't find any comments patronizing, but know that I am not taking anything I have for granted and have worked really hard to even get what I have today.
Is a lack of direction or sense of purpose contributing to your feeling? You said "bored and empty". Do you think everything is pointless?
Many folks have written books on these subjects, and a good deal of them are religious or spiritual in nature and perspective. For me, unanswered questions of origin, purpose, and destiny always seem to undermine other areas of my life.
Sounds like you're letting life happen instead of living it. Get out do some volunteer work, join a men's group, start a band, get a hobby, get a second job, or something. Did you get into grad school? If not, why not? If not try again or get another undergrad degree that will get you into a more interesting job. Join the military, I hear Afghanistan's pretty exciting. If you got into grad school are you still going? Did you get your advanced degree?
If you don't live now when you get married and have kids you'll kick yourself in the ass for all the things you didn't do and now can't.
That married with kids thing is no joke. If you think you don't have any time now to do things you want, you're doing some serious overlooking or just need to do some serious re-booking.
Just getting out of the house is a job in itself especially with a 4 year old.
When was the last time you were truly enthusiastic about something? What was that thing? I find that, depending on what is going on in my life, I fall into a rhythm just like the one you're describing. It's easy, when you have all the basic necessities, to get into a funk because you're not fighting or striving toward anything new. You've got a crummy job, but it pays the bills, you exercise, but it has become a routine and you're not pushing yourself to do more.
In my experience, when I get into these funks, I have to try different things. Make myself learn a new skill, read books which force me to learn things, volunteer, get a new hobby which excites me. You say you play guitar with friends which can be creative, but has that also become routine? Have you tried to learn anything new or write something?
It's not always about doing stuff, but doing the RIGHT stuff which gets us energized again.
Thanks David, I agree that the routine is the problem. I went from working a few jobs and going to college full time, to moving to LA to find work and struggling so hard to make ends meet that now I have all of that, but I'm already over it and in need of something new to struggle with.
I'm on the hunt for something new to try, but so far nothing sounds interesting beyond watching tv. Just have to get out of this funk I guess.
good point, even if you dont really have the enegry, passion, motivation to get out there and do something force yourself too. it will probably be a pain at first but i think you'll find you'll enjoy yourself
I don't know how to say it another way, so I'll say it. You do not, I assume, have a strong connection to God. Without it, without a mission bigger than you, without anything in your life bigger than you, you find no point in life. Why wouldn't you be bored?
To me the boredom sounds like a gift: it's letting you know you're spinning your wheels. Finding a way to medicate the boredom would be a shame. Better to welcome it, question it, and see what it wants you to change. One thing's for sure: hobbies to distract you aren't going to cut it. You're not here to be distracted. You're here for -- what? That's a wonderful question.