Men, I'm new to the forums (first post) but I've been a fan of this site for a while. I was hoping to get some input. Lately, I've been undergoing (thanks in part to this website) an internal metamorphosis as I recognize I have what I call "Baskins Syndrome". It's entirely made-up, but it's the term I use to describe the all-too-common phenomenon of guys my age (22 years, sometimes older) who are essentially boys walking around in a man's body. In fact, that's the inspiration for the name: "Baskin" was the last name of Tom Hanks' character in "Big" which, if you recall, was about a boy who wishes to become a man and ends up having the wish granted.
I was watching Skyfall the other night (I was raised on James Bond) and it hit me: James Bond is exactly the kind of man I want to be (albeit I'd rather stay non-fictional). He's completely satisfied with the career he's chosen even in the worst of times and he goes above and beyond. He takes care of himself physically (more or less) and cares somewhat about how he dresses. He knows how to deal gracefully with those who are antagonistic towards him, how to command respect, how to attract gorgeous women, and how to be completely independent. My question is this: If that is the kind of man I want to be, what is the best, most comprehensive book or material on making the transition from Baskins syndrome case to 007? Thanks.
I didn't feel like a man until I was initiated into manhood, which meant (among other things) that a group that had what I wanted (manhood) recognized me as having it too. The venue that happen for me in was the ManKind Project; see the AoM group "New Warriors" for more on that.
For me, books and self-talk weren't enough. Things I could do on my own weren't enough. Neither was just having a realization, or developing a skill; at the end I'd have the skill, but for some reason it wouldn't count (in my mind). Some book I read, can't remember the title, showed ways other young men tried to achieve manhood, including one who climbed mountains, which made him feel distracted from what he thought was missing while he was doing it; then he'd come back home and nothing would have changed. But I bet it would have if it had been part of a process of other men saying, this is how we break through. The activity shouldn't matter; it's struggling your way into the company of men and winning that make it.
I was in my mid-30's. Good to see those getting started earlier.
In the military, affirming someone's manhood is something like "You are the WORST recruits I have EVER SEEN you make me PUKE you little girls" -- right?
Will - good to see other warrior brothers on this forum - I am new and will be checking out the group here soon
Well, if you want to be a government-employed sociopathic killer...
Haha, I can hear my mom right now: "Well, as long as it makes him happy..."
Mostly basing it Craig's performance in Skyfall (which is especially interesting when you contrast that with his character in Casino Royale) but I've always considered Sean Connery as one of the classiest men in the world.
I use the term Maxim Boys, but Baskins is about the same. The good thing is that the Maxim's market share is falling. The Maxim boy aesthetic is falling out if favor. It is no longer the ideal to sit on the kick it, drink up, party and not have a plan for the future and not care.
I was raised on Bond also, the earlier model but I love the restart. I just had a birthday and have also looked at the what would Bond do to give me the extra nudge.
My suggestion is to get a subscription to Playboy Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. I would suggest the Atlantic also but that may be the wrong political bent view for you.
Playboy, the articles have always been good and the women, while nude are not lewd. Bond seduces women, not just has sex. It is a different mentality of shared pleasure.
Wall Street Journal, you need to see the world as business sees the world. What scares business and drives business; drives the policy makers. That is James Bond’s world.
The Atlantic / New Yorker or some other monthly journal will give you more depth on topics.
Work on getting yourself fit. I was watching Agents of Shield the other night and there was a comment about morning drills. The gist was “why do I have to do pull ups?” “Because when you are hanging on the edge of a 20 story building you will want to be able to pull yourself up.”
The scientists had mental morning drills as strenuous. Bond is in shape for his environment, what shape do you need to be in?
I suggest a morning Jog/ Walk listening to the BBC World Service or something to the like so you can touch base with the wider world.
Getting yourself from Baskin to Bond takes a focus and a drive. The nice thing is all of it is beneficial from getting in shape to mentally expanding yourself.
You might also like Dappered.com
Fantastic response, David. My dad was/is a Bond fanatic and I'm only now realizing why after years of thinking, "But...shouldn't he be more discrete as a secret agent?"
The thing I enjoyed about the restart is that it really does show character development and he really is a good guide for men (sans killing people but I think that goes beyond saying) which is probably why the series is so popular. The Maxim boys/Baskins syndrome/Peter Pan syndrome really has become too popular. It's sad, really, that all the guys my age want everything their parents had but do not recognize that our parents had to wait years for most of it. Thanks for the advice, I'll be looking into those resources shortly.
None of our parents or grandparents waited for years to get what they've got.
They worked like hell for years to get it and keep it.
I don't think they had to wait years for most of it. I think they had a mentality of setting goals, setting resources to those goals and making it work, focused on those goal.
They also enjoyed success ALONG the way. The key is to set up a road of tasks and milestones. Success can be as simple as a fine meal and a glass of fine drink, with the moment savored.
We have so much choice that we get locked up. We have so many messages driving us to consume as the marketers wish that we get locked up. We also don't share our goals with our friends to form support networks to success.
success along the way?
I think for past generations - our parents and grandparents, depending on your age - success was defined as making a better life for your children. We lost that perspective and are so self focused we can't imagine sacrificing anything today for future generations or even for our own delayed gratification. We have built a nice little world for ourselves that we can celebrate every night. Maybe a fine wine and expensive dinner, maybe two buck chuck, a cheap beer and cable TV. We numb ourselves quite well - with products and 'stuff' some corporation spends huge sums of money making us believe we want and need.
Um, Bond isn't at the policy level. Bond is the blunt instrument of destruction with a refined gentleman's veneer.
He's literally the junior officer who boards the sinking U-boat with every intention of shooting anybody who gets between him and the Enigma code books. (That's pretty much who the fictional character was based upon.)
In a "Mad Men", Playboy club era, Bond cuts a dramatic, and rather romantic, figure, but only in the context of the Playboy Philosophy.