If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Which one's have you heard?

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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

haha. I know a billion of these.
In Spain, the people may be running from the bulls but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn't take showers. He takes blood baths!
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep....he waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the world down.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Ninja babies dream of growing up to be Chuck Norris, but usualy they grow up to be killed by Chuck Norris.....
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Global warming happened because Chuck Norris got cold and turned up the sun......
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now simply known as The Islands.

Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into steel plating.

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Beard vitamins? Or other ways to thicken the beard?

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