I am a teenage girl and curious if guys and girls can be just friends? Or is it not right? I watched an interesting youtube vid that says no, but i would have said yes? What do y'all say?

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sorry don't know how to link stuff! the video is called why men and women cant be friends, and a gy goes to a college and interviews tons of students.

Thanks Zach i have several guy friends and people are always saying i need to get together with to of them especially. I didnt know if we could be just friends without people saying stuff or if it wasnt possible

I can't speak for all guys, but personally I haven't been good friends with a girl that I didn't like. For me, the types of things that I find attractive, e.g. intelligence, good tastes, a sense of humor, and self control, are things that I like in friends too. I wouldn't become close friends with a girl if I didn't want to become more than that. 

intersting! Thanks for replying!:)

From my experience you have to get past the friend stage into that sort of "Brother/Sister" stage, that eliminates any progression the other way. While you're still friends, if emotional boundaries are unclear, one person is likely to get feelings for the other of a romantic nature. 

But to answer your question simply, yes it is possible.

ok that would make sense! I have friends who call me lil sis and then others who  are just friends..this helps!;)

I think teenage guys and girls are a little different and I'd say it gets easier for men and women to be friends as they get older, but I think your question should really be 'can single guys and girls just be friends'?


In my experience, I'd say probably not.  I can only speak for myself but when I'm looking for friends I tend to turn to other guys, so if I'm getting friendly with a girl it's because I'm interested.  If that girl has a partner then I know she's off-limits and I can continue into a friendship with that girl, however if the girl is single I would be interested romantically so I've found that a friendship with that girl is unsustainable and ends up with one or both (usually me) getting hurt.

Yes they can but it is situational.  The situation usually arises from one or both being taken or in a professional relationship that keeps the question of getting romantically involved answered to NO.  Once that question is out of the way, sure you can.  Many people who would answer if guys and girls can be friends tend to think within their age group and social peers.  Can you be friends with your pastor, your uncle, etc?  In that context it is fairly easy to see that one can be friends across gender lines.

However it is easier as one gets older for various reasons. 

I'd love to quote Tolkien on this, just because. :)

''Friendship' then? In this fallen world the 'friendship' that should be possible between all human beings, is virtually impossible between man and woman. The devil is endlessly ingenious, and sex is his favourite subject. He is as good every bit at catching you through generous romantic or tender motives, as through baser or more animal ones. This 'friendship' has often been tried: one side or the other nearly always fails. Later in life when sex cools down, it may be possible. It may happen between saints. To ordinary folk it can only rarely occur: two minds that have really a primarily mental and spiritual affinity may by accident reside in a male and a female body, and yet may desire and achieve a 'friendship' quite independent of sex. But no one can count on it. The other partner will let him (or her) down, almost certainly, by 'falling in love'. But a young man does not really (as a rule) want 'friendship', even if he says he does. There are plenty of young men (as a rule). He wants love: innocent, and yet irresponsible perhaps. Allas! Allas! that ever love was sinne! as Chaucer says... - Tolkien

Good quote!

Tolkien must have wanted to be more than friends with a girl who didn't feel the same way!

I dunno, he had a pretty good story with his wife, this is a letter (pure gold) written to his son, I think his son wrote to him about his own possible engagement...


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