I should clarify the title of my post -- should I buy a birthday present for my best friend's fiance? They've been together for 5 years, and recently got engaged, and I'm best man at the wedding. I know the girl, we've hung out (all 3 together) a few times, and she and I get along. A few years back, I got her a Christmas present, but I haven't gotten her anything since (not for Christmas or bdays). And she's never given me anything on either dates. But I'm wondering now, after my friend's engagement, should I get her something? I'm just curious. I won't see her on her bday, but I will see my friend a few days before.

Views: 661

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

No, especially since you won't be seeing her on her birthday.  If you really want to give something, give your friend a bottle of wine when you see him that they can have to celebrate her birthday. 

I like that idea:  if you want to give, give THEM something. 

Hmm, not that I disagree with these replies, but any reason why not (why I should not get her a present)? Just curious.

Because she isn't your girl, she hasn't given you gifts, and she didn't invite you to a birthday party.

Why do you think you should?


JB

Jack,

+1 for all three reasons given.

Because giving gifts to a woman you aren't related to, that is within ball-part of your age of opposite-sex interest, is a great way to send the message "I find you attractive and would like to get to know you better."  That's not your intention, so it's best not to send a message that at least raises the question of whether that's what you meant.

You *should* get her something.  In fact, I disagree with the reasons listed, and here's why.  My assumptions are as follows...

 

1)  She is joining your circle of friends through marriage

2)  You want to acknowledge that act

3)  It is your intention to include her as a friend, at that different level that requires recognition at gift giving holidays

4)  You're not certain how to approach her, in this regard.

 

In other words, you need the excuse to make it happen "naturally."

 

Here's what I would do.  Since you don't currently exchange gifts, and because it's a birthday, use the excuse to begin the tradition.  She's joining your group, so go ahead and acknowledge it!  But, do it in one of two ways...

 

1)  Give her a really nice card.  It establishes that giving-receiving relationship without being too heavy handed.  OR...

2)  Give a gift to *them.*  That was a very good idea, and it would work to include her, without singling her out.

 

And, when giving it, "welcome her to the family," specifically  Make certain it's understood that your intention is to shift her into a different level of friendship.

 

It gracefully places her in that "close circle" of friends, without being too heavy handed.

Well said, Chuck.

 

 

If your friends name is Jessie " no "

Awesome response!

Not unless she was one of your good friends, too. So I don't think you need too. If you really feel you must, agreed--give "them" both something.

A further thought.

Do you and your friend exchange birthday and/or Christmas gifts? 

If you don't, DO NOT start by giving something just to her.

 

 

RSS

Latest Activity

P. Dictus Magister replied to Cory Ross's discussion Audio Renaissance: The Art of Manly Music
"Chek this link gentlemen. What do you think about this list"
50 minutes ago
Paul joined Jace Mullen's group
Thumbnail

California

For all of those who live in California. whether its Nor*Cal or So*Cal San Diego or San Fransico
1 hour ago
Profile IconRon Hockett and Benjamin R Hargis joined JonEdanger's group
Thumbnail

Wet Shaving (No Spam!)

A group to discuss anything and everything concerning straight, SE or DE razor shaving.Spam will not be tolerated. Any member who spams the group will be uninvited.See More
5 hours ago
Brian Splash replied to Jake's discussion What are some clothing brands that are made to last?
"I reinvented my wardrobe a few years ago and started looking into that very question , in scouring blogs and different forums I came across some great brands that make vintage style or heritage clothes by artisans that try to replicate clothes and…"
5 hours ago
Brian Splash commented on Gordon Aitken's group A Good Boot
"Red wing Irish setter work boots , anyone ?"
6 hours ago
Joshua replied to Peter Arkson's discussion Outdoorsy/Nature Body Washes
"One more vote for Grandpa's - you can find it fairly inexpensive online - try Vitacost. "
6 hours ago
John White posted a photo

life

yeah, life can be that way
7 hours ago
Profile IconDaniel Rodriguez and josh wright joined Dwane Lay's group
Thumbnail

Book of the Month

Each month, a book will be selected by the members to be read and discussed. The image for the group will be updated with the cover of the current book selection.See More
8 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service