I should clarify the title of my post -- should I buy a birthday present for my best friend's fiance? They've been together for 5 years, and recently got engaged, and I'm best man at the wedding. I know the girl, we've hung out (all 3 together) a few times, and she and I get along. A few years back, I got her a Christmas present, but I haven't gotten her anything since (not for Christmas or bdays). And she's never given me anything on either dates. But I'm wondering now, after my friend's engagement, should I get her something? I'm just curious. I won't see her on her bday, but I will see my friend a few days before.

Views: 641

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

No, especially since you won't be seeing her on her birthday.  If you really want to give something, give your friend a bottle of wine when you see him that they can have to celebrate her birthday. 

I like that idea:  if you want to give, give THEM something. 

Hmm, not that I disagree with these replies, but any reason why not (why I should not get her a present)? Just curious.

Because she isn't your girl, she hasn't given you gifts, and she didn't invite you to a birthday party.

Why do you think you should?


JB

Jack,

+1 for all three reasons given.

Because giving gifts to a woman you aren't related to, that is within ball-part of your age of opposite-sex interest, is a great way to send the message "I find you attractive and would like to get to know you better."  That's not your intention, so it's best not to send a message that at least raises the question of whether that's what you meant.

You *should* get her something.  In fact, I disagree with the reasons listed, and here's why.  My assumptions are as follows...

 

1)  She is joining your circle of friends through marriage

2)  You want to acknowledge that act

3)  It is your intention to include her as a friend, at that different level that requires recognition at gift giving holidays

4)  You're not certain how to approach her, in this regard.

 

In other words, you need the excuse to make it happen "naturally."

 

Here's what I would do.  Since you don't currently exchange gifts, and because it's a birthday, use the excuse to begin the tradition.  She's joining your group, so go ahead and acknowledge it!  But, do it in one of two ways...

 

1)  Give her a really nice card.  It establishes that giving-receiving relationship without being too heavy handed.  OR...

2)  Give a gift to *them.*  That was a very good idea, and it would work to include her, without singling her out.

 

And, when giving it, "welcome her to the family," specifically  Make certain it's understood that your intention is to shift her into a different level of friendship.

 

It gracefully places her in that "close circle" of friends, without being too heavy handed.

Well said, Chuck.

 

 

If your friends name is Jessie " no "

Awesome response!

Not unless she was one of your good friends, too. So I don't think you need too. If you really feel you must, agreed--give "them" both something.

A further thought.

Do you and your friend exchange birthday and/or Christmas gifts? 

If you don't, DO NOT start by giving something just to her.

 

 

RSS

Latest Activity

Satanist Dan added a discussion to the group AoM Secrets and Mysteries
Thumbnail

Rituals of a supportive nature.

When one hears of the occult, mythologies, and "pagan" religion, coming from the Christianized western world, it's not a good thing that comes to mind. It is, however, that most occult persons align themselves with "White magic", and even Satanism has a Ritual of Compassion, attached below... But I've done many rituals of compassion, and in the end even if you're not a MAGIC MISSILE person, it's still very comforting to one that someone took time out of their lives, did a ritual - a set…See More
25 minutes ago
Stein replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
"Saw St . Vincent last weekend with Bill Murray in a fantastic role. So Fury the week before. Could not keep my eyes off the screen."
40 minutes ago
Joshua Whitworth replied to Joshua Whitworth's discussion Prayers and Ideas for struggling men. in the group Christian Men
"It's really just a prayer request. If you don't mind taking a few seconds to stop and pray for me and keeping my emotions in check I guess that would be greatly appreciated. And I will pray for anything you need also. Sorry if the main…"
1 hour ago
Joshua Whitworth replied to Joshua Whitworth's discussion Prayers and Ideas for struggling men. in the group Christian Men
"Haha as helpful as that would be, prayers will suffice I'm sure. But I will think about this comment before I do anything too douchey."
1 hour ago
Joshua Whitworth replied to TheCommishGordon's discussion Serious questions from a Christian in the group Christian Men
"In my opinion, I see Christianity as great fire insurance, but it's way more than that. If you're being moral, then you want to help everyone. If you want to help everyone then you want to carry out the Great Commission (go and make…"
1 hour ago
Joshua Whitworth added a discussion to the group Christian Men
Thumbnail

Prayers and Ideas for struggling men.

I know this isn't your typical theological question, but I feel it can be helpful. I personally need some prayer. I am struggling with guidance. I seem go be having some relationship trouble. I firmly believe God put this woman in my life to be wife one day (when funds and scheduling allow), but I keep picking fights about stupid things. I would like some prayer for guidance and how I should act. Thanks guys. I hope this thread ends up being a way for all of us guys to ask for some prayers.
2 hours ago
Paul Martin replied to James Sullivan's discussion Strange sexual dreams?
"Dreams happen my friend. I to have had an erotic dream focused on a woman from a long time ago that I never had a relationship with. Meditate on it, dreams are merely a symbol that only you can decode."
2 hours ago
benson marco posted a status
""
3 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service