Been a long time reader but had a hard time applying AOM ideas. But I'll get to the just of it -
I don't feel like a man. Man-child maybe, but not a man. I'm 26 years old, just got my associates degree and an administrative assistant in the fed gov. A gopher basically. Make $24k a year after taxes, support myself (apartment, insurance, motorcycle, car, etc.) but.....I'm undisciplined, often late and unreliable. Lack confidence. Let the ADHD get the best of me. Have lots of friends and close family, but get the feeling that the world is passing me by and I'm stuck in my immature ways. Envious of my friends who seem to have "it" going on in their groove, figured out, etc. Biggest wakeup call was losing the love of my life because not only of my problems with dependability and trustworthiness, taking care of things as a man should but inability to moderate alcohol intake. In other words, I'm a mess. But think I'm about to make the best decision of my life to give me the kick in the ass I need - joining the Army National Guard. Already met with recruiter. I want to be a better man. A man period. Reliable, dependable, confident and trustworthy. Serve my state and country. I have already quit drinking. This path I'm at now at mediocrity isn't gonna cut it anymore.
Any military members want to speak up about how it helped your life? Did it make you a better person? Make you better at getting what you wanted out of life? Teach you to live better? Anyone have problems similar to me and have military turn it around?
It can provide a framework for those who never had one before. It's still up to you what to do with the tools they provide. You will re-learn how to do everything in your life. From waking in the morning to thinking and acting with purpose. How to dress yourself and how to address superiors.
But, none of that shit really matters. It's how you apply it to your life and growth as an individual which makes the difference. It's all on you.
If you have ADHD, you need to seriously address this as actor in your life. It takes a disciplined time journaled focus on dealing with the impediment. You can learn to use ADHD to your advantage once you learn to deal with the down sides. Get some books and perhaps look at a life coach to help you achieve a direction.
Well my psisoarisis isn't getting any better so have to wait for military. Down to 1-2 cigs a day, hopefully that'll help keep it down.
I really wish I could hire a life coach, but I'm broke as hell. Struggle to pay my rent and gas bills. If I could wrangle the ADHD under control you're right it might help. Does make me very creative.
Damn, man, I was about to take that same road! Unfortunately, the Army did not accept me. It was a lot of work trying to get in and I didn't make it in the end. Too bad. I wish I had. I think it would have changed my life. I suffer with discipline and puttting up with external pressure without complying or compromising. I think the military may help you a lot but only if you make a conscious decision to turn things around and learn from every moment there.
What DQd you? Yeah I'm hoping the same. I will make a consious decision. I NEED the Army. Kick in the ass and framework. I've always been patriotic so this will be good for my self-worth...instead of talking a big game actually doing something about it!
Trying to scrape together some money to see the dermatologist. National Guard forums said if my psoriasis is a minor case (less than 2% coverage on my body which it is), they would take the derms diagnosis and possibly grant me a waiver. I'm very excited. Dermatologist is expensive as hell though!
It's hard to get into new habits/routines but just keep at it. I read an article a few months back that said something to the effect of we have to do something roughly 120 times before it becomes ingrained as a routine and habit in our minds. (I'm trying to get into better shape and it's a struggle to keep up with a routine workout regime). As for you being late alot... Set you alarm say... 15 - 20 min earlier than you usually do give yourself that extra buffer time if you KNOW you're going to be running behind.
As myself personally I cannot stand being late or someone who is late (a couple of minutes isn't a huge deal as there could be traffic etc.) but if someone's constantly late by a large margin (10+ minutes) without a reasonable excuse then in my mind it just shows that person feels A. they are better than me so their time is more important than my time and B. that person has no respect for me as they cannot be bothered to show up at a designated place on time.
The advice others have given here is solid as well so I'd just be repeating previous posts if I kept going.