Better Save the Women and Children First, Right? (Should I Stay or Should I Go?)

Perhaps not what the title suggests, this isn't what you might view as a very serious problem, but here it is:

It's my senior year, and I signed up for this Spanish III class. I walk in, and by the end of the first period, I've absorbed the most negative vibe that I've witnessed in a class. Nobody wants to be there, inside of the bare white walls of this classroom. And, neither do I. Something just rubbed me the wrong way, and because it's the first day of the term, and I've already fulfilled my foreign language requirement, I'm switching this class for another. I discuss this with this girl who I've known for two and a half years. She and I used to study together all the time, and we are quite comfortable with each other and are what I would call good friends. I must mention this, because it must be relevant in someway: I am attracted to her, and she has a boyfriend of one year.

I discuss that I'm dropping the class and she laments with me about how for certain circumstances she cannot. She's stuck there for the next six months. When the class got out, she walked past me, looked at me, and said, in that kind of puppy-dog-eyed look and tone, where it looks all cute but she probably means it, "Sam, please don't leave."

And I was just thinking, if we were on a sinking ship, and I could leave, but she couldn't, would I opt out of going down with the ship and her? I would love to think that I would jump right back on that ship and let fate decide this while we almost certainly would drown (my version of the rats from Nineteen-Eighty-Four, my fear that could get me to betray anyone). This class is the ship, and will I jet away or go to certain misery everyday with the knowledge that I didn't leave her behind?

Please just, respond.

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If it were a ship, I'd jump back on. I'd probably stay in the class, but thats just me... I've got a soft spot in my heart for the women folk

I would stick through it if you like it, unless the other class is something you want to do.  When you get out of High School, those lazy peeps are not going to really matter.  You're only limiting you opportunities in your education by not expanding on the foreign language, but here are a few things to think about. 

Is this skill set going to help me immensely at my job or in the job I want?

Would I be completely miserable in this class?

With her being there, would it make the class less painful then what I think it may be?

Is the teacher a good teacher?

It's just the first week really.  People are going to drop the class most likely.  If you have any Junior colleges that teach it you might want to insist on going there instead.  Look for a few more options before dropping the class. But really, if you are doing it solely because of the girl and you guys kinda break in your friendship, you are going to resent her more and be just as miserable.

Well, she won't _drown_ if you drop the class! and you're not dating her, or likely to -- I'd say keep it or drop it based on the class.  You can see her outside class.  And she won't really live a miserable life because a friend who isn't her boyfriend isn't in a presumably 3-hr-a-week class with her.

She is bored and miserable and wants you to be bored and miserable. Do what is best for you and what you have already done, move along. You aren't saving her from anything.

You got to ask yourself this: "Would she stay in the class if you asked her?"  

Knowing that this is a teenage girl, and most teenage girls have the notion that people need to do stuff for them more so than they need to do stuff for others.  Having fallen victim to the girl in trouble, trust me dude, leave now and youll save yourself the heartache.

Very true.

Sam, in times like this you need to do what is right for you. She might want you to stick around for any number of reasons, but if you feel that you do not benefit from being there, but you might from another course then there is no point in sticking around.

Women come and go, and judging by the age, will go more often then not.

If this were a sinking ship and by staying you could save her, different story.

You aren't being a hero by grueling through a class you aren't benefiting from. You are just falling into that trap that is the teenage female charm, she has a boyfriend, her only reason to get you to try and stick around is so she isn't suffering alone. There is no point in sticking around to purely assist in the misery loves company mentality.

If she can get him to change classes because she said please, not only with he get nothing, he better be ready to keep giving too.

My first feeling was to want to smack you and tell you to use the brain in your head and not the one in your pants and switch courses. She got a boyfriend and you ain't it and now you'll be stuck in a stupid course listening to her tell you all about him for 6 months. And if even she was single and dated you, you are already doomed seeing as she's got your wrapped already.

But then I thought. Naaa. Do that and you'll dodge this bullet, go on blissfully ignorant like of us at your age, and just end up taking a bigger one in your twenties. Better to learn this life lesson now while you are still young. 

So yeah, go for it. I think she likes you. I see no way this could possibly turn out bad and blow up in your face. Good luck.

Well since we are talking about a class and not a ship, you have to keep in mind that not only is there a potential for a drop in GPA but a miserable semester.  I have just finished a semester that i knew should not have signed up for but did anyway.    LISTEN TO YOUR GUY.  She is remaining in class by choice.

It's the 21st century. Let her drown and switch courses. Women aren't better than men; we're just equal.

I agree ... unless you genuinely think you have a shot with this broad, cut her loose, and do what you have to.

If you have a shot -- might be worth taking the bullet.


Unless you can have a few more classes before switching so you can judge it on more than one class, then I'd switch classes. If you're going to be miserable in there, then there's no point because you won't be motivated to learn and do the work.


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