In Brett's book he published some non profane insults from the likes of good ol' Teddy Roosevelt. I gave the book to my nephew so I can't quote them at the moment. What I would like to see in this thread is either new or quoted non profane zingers that attack character and behaviour without completely loosing decorum.
"Your mother engages in prostitution in order to raise funds for the building materials necessary to construct a brothel from which your sister will operate."
I've always liked this one: "Shut up when you're talking to me!"
My recent favorite actually came from an old Foghorn Leghorn cartoon.
"You must have a hole in your glove, son. You don't seem to be catching this"
I guess the filters don't like the word H O L E.
When people say something stupid that annoys me, I like to start my response with "With any due respect..."
"Next time you think you've got a good idea, stop. The thinking, I mean. You're terrible at it."
-My response to a particularly awful idea from my supervisor.
In other news John Galt is now in the market...
Nah. We're a small, tight-knit(at least within my shift) crew, and nobody really holds back on anybody. We reckon it's better to have things out right away, rather than play yes-man and let resentment fester when stupid policies are implemented.
You Sir, are like a roll of toilet paper. Your exterior is soft and shitfaced and your interior is rough and completely hollow.
I will not call you a monkey, but when you eat a banana it looks very natural.
My fifth grade teacher to one of the classmates.
There where meetings with parents and principal to follow.
My first thought was a completely nonverbal insult, which is holding a person in such contempt that you refuse to shake hands with the individual when introduced or meet casually.
As for verbal, "The best part of you stained the sheets."