I have a need to appear less shrimpy. I have muscles to a decent degree and can fake my way through a few chin-ups, but my arms and legs are terribly skinny.

Can anyone recommend a decent workout that emphasizes forearm and calf strength?

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Adonis Index is a body sculpting program which will give you beach muscles.

I saw the Adonis Index once but it seemed fishy to me so I stayed away. I'm assuming you embraced it though. Does it actually work?

It works, but like I said it's a sculpting program, not a strength program.  If the OP only wants to bulk up and gain massive strength then do StrongLifts 5x5 or Starting Strength and get on the GOMAD program.

I don't know if Starting Strength is a good program for "I need to be a certain way by a certain date". It strikes me to be more of a longer term thing, even though it is very effective.

Just not the program you see guys holding newspapers over their newly chiseled physiques.

I agree, but when it comes to time, 12 week programs are 12 week programs.  SL5x5 is a beginner powerlifting routine.  SS lays out the lifts and I'd recommend that book even if deciding on SL for the routine.  For sheer mass and strength you can't go wrong with a powerlifting program to start. 

My suggestion is, build  your foundation, then carve out the body you want.  All those chiseled guys are basically using a competition routine to make muscle show off, but they have muscle to start.  If you look at Strong Man or Olympic powerlifting competitors, they're not chiseled.  But, they'll outpush the chiseled guys.

There's also the "beginner's effect" which will cause gains to show no matter what you do, when you're a beginner.  Whatever routine you pick as a beginner will show improvements.  Until you stop showing improvements.  Then you need to reset, build that base again, and then start shaping again.

I posted my thoughts on AI as a sculpting program, before I saw the OPs pic.  He doesn't have much to sculpt.  Might want to start building it first if he has a certain look in mind.  But then, beginner's effect.  So whatever.  It doesn't matter what you do as a beginner, it will show.  Just know the limitations of the routines you choose.

I keep SS at my bedside, but I wonder if such a book would turn off a newbie, especially someone with a non-athletic background. I know it probably would have turned me off. It was written for coaches and is full of jargon and scary-looking anatomical illustrations. 

I liked the Ellis program because it used both free weights and machines. I could slowly get used to learning the basic free weight movements while also being able to hit the safer and no brainer machines hard.

It was the anatomical illustrations which drew me to it....

Ok, new recommendation.  Convict Conditioning and P90X.  Convict Conditioning will provide you pull up alternatives to P90X's pull up routines (which are shit for beginners); and P90X is a good, regimented, beginner, strength workout which can be done with very minimal equipment and no weights at all.

Funny, everyone is different.

Good recommendation.

A whole chapter on deadlift technique can be a turnoff to someone who's never lifted a weight before.

What's to know?  Pick it up, put it down.  That's why I like SL, start with an empty bar.  I like the coaching in SS, which is why I recommend it no matter what you choose.  I'd always been told to lift my eyes and look at where the wall meets the ceiling opposite the room in order to keep your back from rounding.  The coaching, from actual coaches, to look lower, was new to me.

Same with squats, on the head angle. 

Yes, an excellent book.

Anthony Ellis has a good program for ectos like us. I started on it and it was the first time I really saw results with any speed.
It will kick your ass if you do it right, and back it up with lots of good food and rest.
For me it was the intro to some decent weight gain.

Forearms and calves, really?  Not chest?  You're not going to end up looking like Popeye, are you?

Books I read said:  work out all over, so you don't end up with (say) huge forearms and small biceps.

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