Is it the Man's job to drive?  

Chauffering a lady seems like a gentlemanly act. I understand that a gentleman grants favors easily and freely. So it seems gentlemanly to drive when a lady would consider it a favor.

While I don't particularly enjoy driving, I am fine with stoically taking up the duty when my lady is in need.

But my question is; is there an implied expectation that men drive women? Am I failing my manly duty by not assuming constantly that I should be the one driving? 

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If you are dating or want to date this person, yes, be the driver all the time.
If this is an acquaintance or even a good friend you want to keep that way, then no; do whatever is mutually satisfactory.

My wife certainly expects me to drive. And frankly I'm tired of it!

On a date:  yes, mostly.

Married:  I think you can trade off.  We do.

expectation? I suppose that depends on the woman and your relationship. My wife likes to drive, as do I. I mind driving over long distances less than she, but she's happy to as well... 

I tend to drive on the weekends, because I don't drive during the week (take the train to work).

But otherwise it's best to decide what works for you two. Not any arbitrary "manly duty."

I agree with the taking charge bit for dating. Being a passenger is very passive. What woman wants to date a passive man?

You might as well ask is it a man's job to kill spiders or mow the lawn or a woman's job to make dinner or wash the laundry. In terms of traditional roles then yeah, its the man's "job". I use the quotes because this "job" is usually one most men like while many women don't. But this isn't always the case for either.

So the point, it is an implied expectation for some and not for others. In my house, both my wife and I can drive (and both have our own cars) but when we go together I usually do. This is because I enjoy it and she doesn't. But its not my job and on the rare occasion I don't want to I only have to ask and she will.

But that's my case. I already know both what me and my wife expect and like and am happy with it. I don't know what your issue is.

Are you in a relationship and whining because you have to "stoically" take up the task of driving? Which seems a bit over dramatic to me by the way. I hardly consider driving something painful one must endure. But anyway.

Or are you complaining about having to drive your dates?

If its the former then the manly duty you are failing is not communicating with your partner. I doubt she wants you do to something as benign as driving if for you its painful. Its not like it requires you to take a bullet or something. If you hate it that much then tell her and she'll probably take over that task.

If its the latter then not sure what to tell you. You are free to expect the girls to drive but equally you shouldn't whine when they pass up the opportunity to go date a guy who will drive. Its their choice. I know some guys who wouldn't date a girl that won't cook.

edit: I should add. I did once date a girl who couldn't drive (and refused to learn even when given the means) and expected me to drive her everywhere. After that experience I added "ability to drive" to my criteria for future girlfriends.

Well said

That is between you and your lady.

My wife pays the bill when we dine out.  It comes out of the same account so it does not matter between us who deals with it.  That being said I find it amusing how often I am give the check rather then it being put in the neutral position on the table.

I joke about being a liberated male to the servers when I out their expectations.

Who would ever want another female driver on the road? If you have a choice always drive never let a female drive anywhere if you can help it. It is safer for everybody involved if you drive.


If there are no female drivers of course the world would be much safer but who would you flirt with? The lonely truck drivers? Life needs a bit of spice, excitement and near death experiences.

I guess I do the driving about 70% of the time.  On a date I almost always drive and I open the door for my wife. My wife is not a good driver but insists she is only a bad driver when I ride with her. I claim she only notices it when I ride with her because I point it out. The way she goes through brake pads would suggest I am right about her driving.

When there is a red light ahead of you and 5 cars waiting at the red light take your foot off the accelerator. There is no need to come to an abrupt stop when you can see the cars ahead of you stopped at a red light. GRRRRRRR.

If I am tired and the wife wants to go to the galleria for some gawd awful reason or wants to go somewhere that involves loop 610 then she will be driving not me. I would rather shoot myself in the foot than get involved in that gridlock of drivers is full retard mode.

Long drives at night lull me to sleep unless I have the radio blaring and the wife and kids don't like that so the wife will drive hours into the night if necessary. This works out because she gets tired and sleepy when driving in the morning and I do not.

I drive near 100% of the time when my wife and I are in the car together.  Only real exception is when we're on a really long car trip and I've just had it.  I handed over the driver's seat on the second day of a Disneyworld trip a few years ago.  I drove from Houston to Mobile, AL after working 'til 2pm on the first day.  Drove 'til 11pm.  Started driving the second day at 5am ... and was pretty much dead by 9am.  Handed the keys over and slept 'til after noon.


Only other exception I can think of is if I'm incapacitated or medicated for whatever reason ... she drove me to the doctor after I'd suffered 18-hours of food poisoning, after I had my wisdom teeth pulled, and to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy.


Other than that ... she really never drives when I'm in the car.  I'm not all that good a passenger.  I don't get tired during night driving like she does ... and I don't mind it.  She'd rather not drive.  I'd rather not be a passenger.  Holdover chauvinism works out nicely in this case.




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