Hello Gentlemen,

Wondering can you assist with a work related query that I have. Am I being fair to my employers in the circumstances below?

Background info: I really love my job. I work as a Sales & Marketing Manager. Been in this job since 2011 and its a small outfit with 4 employees. When I joined there were just 2 of us so I've been a fairly core cog in growing the business.

However I work in a very small town and I do not enjoy life outside of work. I've discussed this with my partner for quite a while and she feels the same way. Emigration amongst young people in our town to larger cities is very high and as a result my friends have all left. I have some past times but really I would prefer to move from Ireland to London.

I've been planning this almost a year and am sure this is what I want to do. My partner is in total agreement with me. At work they have given me so many perks and bonuses in the last 12 months. They've sent me from Ireland to places like Brazil, New Zealand, Italy, USA with my expenses paid and have even subsidised travel for others if I want to bring a friend or partner with me when I travel.

We're at a stage that we're planning for the last quarter of 2014 at work and I don't feel that I am being fully honest with them in my intentions which bothers me.

My intentions are to advise them in January 2014 that I intend to leave our town some time between April 2014 and August 2014. I'm obliged to give them a month's notice but they will have at least 3 months notice in this case. I'm not worried about my job security as I have huge projects in Jan, Feb, March and they will not be in a position to let me go and bring in a replacement. I will stress to them that I love the job and it is a work/life decision rather than anything they have done. There is an outside chance of working remotely from London so I intend to say that the decision is theirs. If they feel its possible then I am willing. Otherwise I am happy to spend my 3-7 months with them bringing a replacement up to speed. I'll also say that I'm happy to finish any time from April to August once I get my standard 30 days.

I know some of you are employers and how would you feel in the circumstances. My boss has always referred to my business trips abroad as investments in me and I feel guilty about wanting to leave. I have also been nodding along when they mention our projects in 2014, 2015 etc. But I am very sure this is something I want at the moment and want to handle it in the right way. This company has been good to me, took me on with sketchy qualifications/experience (I'm only 24 years old right now) and above all else I want to ensure that my 3 years work with them by then will yield a very strong reference.

Kind regards and thank you for your time


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You are giving them a pretty big time frame to work you out of the business. They may have invested in you and given you a really solid chance but you can't let that keep you back from a long thought out change in life that it sounds like your really need. Are you going to stay there for the rest of your life because they are investing in you?

You said yourself that you worked hard, helped the business grow and it sounds like you're really offering them the best you possible can when leaving. Both time and the chance to work with you when you go. I'd say you're offering a lot more than most people do. 

+1. You're doing it right.

Thanks for the advice. Yes there isn't really more I could do except for telling them now which I think could be damaging to me. I guess its just about balancing being open and honest with keeping your powder dry. I like to be upfront in my dealings but will have to play this close to my chest for now.

Apologies I meant January 2014

Hi Jess,

Thanks for the feedback. Your 100% right that I don't owe them. However I think any man should show loyalty in his dealings and I'd rather give what I can rather than giving only what I have to.

Whether they would do it for me isn't relevant. You have to set your own yardstick.

Ah the humanity you tied into business.

Get your next job secured, give your one months notice, move on.

I know it seems like you are burning bridges, but the problem is two fold.  

First you expect to have a new job at X date, in this or any economy that is a faulty expectation.  You need to secure your next position first.  Because of this you must not declare your severing ties until you are ready.  You can still move on without burning bridges.

One thing you can do is make a binder of what you do and who your contacts are,  procedures etc.  When you declare your heading on, and that you have a manual for the next person you can feel better about the transition.

Second, if you are really working in a small business, how the heck are they going to afford to pay for you and your replacement?  Perhaps for a month, but beyond that, could they really afford two of you for many months?  The could not, once you declare you are moving on, better to make the transition now, and get the replacement person up to speed as quickly as possible.  So there you are out on your tail months ahead of your "schedule" with no job and less prospects of a new job.

Keep your options to yourself, make your plans, see what job you can pull in and IF land a job you actually want, make your move.

Dude, if you are feeling guilty about how you are going about this with your employer, then obviously they must be treating you pretty well. What beyond a vague, general sense of dissatisfaction are you unhappy about enough to leave? Do you really think you would enjoy the hustle and bustle and noise and crowding of city life over a small town? You sure?

If I was in your position, I would stay on. Based on what you wrote, it seems like you got a pretty good gig going on and I would think twice before leaving, especially since you don't have anything solid lined up in terms of your employment situation. After a while, maybe a year or so, if something is still bothering you, then leave.


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