"Here is a poem that I found a little while ago, very fitting for Father's day. It was written by someone that I know quite well.
The Working FatherBy Bjorn Faknam
He wakes afresh each new morn,With body clean and hair short shorn.Then goes to…"
Aging
Greetings, gentlemen.
Today, I saw a quote, and it struck me in a certain way. "Never regret growing older. It's a privilege denied to many."
I feel that's a good way to look at aging, instead of with negativity. A good deal of my lady friends and a couple of guy friends all fear aging like nothing else. The wrinkles, lines, and creases, losing their 'good looks,' and all the such that comes with aging. And it just never ceases to get on my nerves when I start hearing them talk like that. I'm also quite sick of the 'party hard, die young' mentality in a lot of people.
I know that for most of them, eventually, they'll mature about their opinions of aging, I hope. Yet, does anyone else feel similarly about this state of mind people seem to have? Am I alone in being so unnerved by that kind of attitude?
It just seems like people should appreciate, and almost cherish, every wrinkle, crease, and line that they get. It shows that they made it this far, when there are so many things that could have ended them far sooner. I'm not saying they should look forward to aches and pains, but at least appreciate that they're still alive.
I look forward to seeing what other men here think about the subject.
Today, I saw a quote, and it struck me in a certain way. "Never regret growing older. It's a privilege denied to many."
I feel that's a good way to look at aging, instead of with negativity. A good deal of my lady friends and a couple of guy friends all fear aging like nothing else. The wrinkles, lines, and creases, losing their 'good looks,' and all the such that comes with aging. And it just never ceases to get on my nerves when I start hearing them talk like that. I'm also quite sick of the 'party hard, die young' mentality in a lot of people.
I know that for most of them, eventually, they'll mature about their opinions of aging, I hope. Yet, does anyone else feel similarly about this state of mind people seem to have? Am I alone in being so unnerved by that kind of attitude?
It just seems like people should appreciate, and almost cherish, every wrinkle, crease, and line that they get. It shows that they made it this far, when there are so many things that could have ended them far sooner. I'm not saying they should look forward to aches and pains, but at least appreciate that they're still alive.
I look forward to seeing what other men here think about the subject.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by P.M. Riches on -
I agree whole-heartedly; personally I spent far too long lamenting a) the loss of my luxuriously long locks, b) the expansion of my mid-section and c) the gradual development of the "P.M. Riches Morning Knee and Back Symphonic Ensemble". Eventually it was a good friend of mine who woke me up - his attitude is one of 'I've earned this position in life, this wisdom, this perspective, these battle scars - why would I trade any of these experiences? Hell, as musicians, most of us never thought we'd live past 30, let alone approach middle age!'
The more I talk to my contemporaries (and perhaps it's demographically dependent), the more I come away with a sense that most of us who are pursuing 'a life more manly' are equipped to deal with these issues of aging because we have, or are actively seeking, strong role models who demonstrate regularly that aging is not something to be feared or resisted, but rather something that should be embraced and celebrated. To reference figures from mass media - look how cool Robert Redford was when he got older, or Paul Newman...Clint Eastwood...Sean Connery. Still virile. Still relevant. Still living life.
In short, I think most of us have seen what's on 'the other side', and while we may not be hopping up and down excitedly waiting for our first digital exam, we're not afraid of losing parts of ourselves when we get older; instead, I think we're anticipating how our experiences will compound and make us better men.
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Permalink Reply by Brett McKay on -
Great topic. Our society's obsession with youth is definitely bordering on insanity. I agree that instead of of fearing aging, we should embrace it. Besides, 60 year olds that have have no wrinkles, just look weird. Just look at Sly Stalone or Kenny Roggers. They looked great before they went and started messing with their faces.
The same goes with women. There's something elegant and class about a woman who embraces her age and feels comfortable in her body.
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Permalink Reply by Jeffre Pawlack on -
Preach it brother!
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Permalink Reply by thehuhman on -
I'll turn the BIG 60 in October, assuming I don't get hit by a bus or something... So I reckon I got a few things to say about aging...
I can look back, and without exception, as I've entered each new decade of my adult life; I always have a sense that I'm ready for it. I mean, I already did the previous decade... now I'm ready to see what it's like to be in this brand new decade: my sixties. There will be one obvious advantage to turning sixty, and that is initially I will be in my "early" sixties, as opposed to the dinosaurs at the other end who are already 68 or 69. Ha!
The one thing that pisses me off about getting old, is the body and mind begin to fail, and that is a constant reminder that I've already lived way more years, than I have yet to go. That's kind of a bummer. But the thing I like the best is with age, comes wisdom. And I love me some wisdom. Oh, and another bonus is many times I get respect, just for walking into the room. I just have to show up. How great is THAT!
Finally, age is what it is. People who have a difficult time getting older, are really just living in the past. They yearn for the familiar, and they seem to be afraid of the unknown (the future). And while all of that is going on... they don't even realize they are missing this very moment. It really is all any of us have, and we should try to make the best of it.
That's it. The old guy has spoken. Gotta take my nap now...
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Permalink Reply by James! on -
I just turned 36, and I look better that I did at 20. I used to be androgynous and undefined, and I was the mental and emotional equivalent of an empty cicada shell clinging to the side of a tree. Now I have stepped things up and the 36 year old me could easily destroy the 20 yr old me in everyway except for enthusiasm.
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Permalink Reply by Charles Loose on -
Don't mind the refinement that comes with getting older...as I turn the big 40 this year but I don't really care for the aches and pains that seem to be surfacing from nowhere. I mean damn somehting is always aching. Now I admit that I am very active, indoor soccer twice a week..basketball three times a week and weight lifting. Perhaps I should cut back on that, increase the drinking and sitting around and maybe I those nasty aches will go away.
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Permalink Reply by Jeffre Pawlack on
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"...increase the drinking and sitting around and maybe those nasty aches will go away."
Sounds great! Can we call it the "Loose Lifestyle"?
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Permalink Reply by Bernie Franks on -
One of the most terrifying things to me is those who have this idea of eternal youth. I saw this program the other day about a some people living with 'extreme diets' or something along those lines. The diets were basically a raw vegan diet (no cooked foods, or, rather, no foods cooked over—I think—100 degrees) and calorie restriction. Now, I don't personally think there's anything wrong with the first, I just had a problem that the guy seemed so into himself about how great it was that he was a raw food vegan and that everyone else should like him, the trailblazer he is.
But the calorie restriction thing really spooked me. It was this woman who was obsessed with staying young. Something she said that got to me was, "The question isn't why would I want to live forever, it's why would YOU want to die?" She can't seem to understand that not wanting to live until 200 isn't a death wish. And further compounding the creepiness of the whole thing, aside from her hysterical claims of victimization, was the fact that her boyfriend (or maybe husband) has sort of been roped into following the same diet, and he's over six feet tall and 118 lbs. Now, I'm 6'1" and 145 lbs. and I feel almost cartoonishly skinny. They showed him running around, and one could not help but think of Jack Skellington going for a jog.
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Permalink Reply by Ryan Crawford on -
I, personally, can think of nothing more manly than growing old with grace. As long as you live your life as you want to, the aches and pains seem as though they would be nothing compared to the rich experiences that come with growing old. Add to that the outward proof that you are growing more "experienced" and you eventually (hopefully) become that old-timer who the yungun's come visit just to hear stories of the good ol' days.
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Permalink Reply by asa c mcguire on -
I must say as I get older I am becoming more happy. I don't feel the need to jump out of air planes, drink all night, chase women, puff up around my guy friends. I am happy with who and what I am. I have my sorted wild past to compare notes with the best of them and have lived to tell the tale. But have the hind sight and wisdom to guide the younger generation away from that path. On the physical side who cares. Thats why I love that Kellogs (i think) commercial from a few years ago. The one that had all the less than GQ guys asking "woman" questions. Does my butt look to big in these jeans etc etc. If your looks bother you do something about it if not suck it up and drive on.
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Permalink Reply by Peter O'Reilly on -
Men are much luckier in the aging department than women. As we grow older, our looks become more refined. We can aspire to the image of the power man, the CEO, etc. Not only that, but of course our midlife crisis involves hooking up with younger women, buying a sports car and trying to act like your teenage children. Women, on the other hand, get the lovely burden of menopause. There aren't many archetypes for older women to aspire to as they age. The important thing to remember is to always stay active at any age. Take the rolling stones for example. Mick and Keith are well into their 60s, live a very unhealthy lifestyle, yet still jump around on stage like they're 25. I've seen some very attractive women at my gym well into their 50s (I'm only 28). I knew a man in his 80s who rollerbladed three hours almost every day. This guy is over 80 and in better shape than I am. I want to take care of my body while its young so it can continue to take care of me into my old age.
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He wakes afresh each new morn,With body clean and hair short shorn.Then goes to…"
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