Intro:

First post here, I've been a reader of AoM for awhile, and it's helped my life exponentially. Due to the depth and truth I find all over this site, I immediately hold the men who follow and contribute to Art of Manliness in high regard. I was hoping some of you folks could share some advice for the heart-break process, and feel free to share similar experiences, to know I'm not alone. 

 Background Story: 

I was in the most perfect relationship for 3 years, we took each others V-cards and became each others' best friends, confidants and lovers. We became so close that our families had a relationship too, where my family treated her like family, and vice versa. It was awesome, I couldn't believe the young, beautiful lady I loved, loved ME! I could write pages on the good times we shared, but that's not why I'm writing this. 

Basically, it ended when she moved away to college. Fair enough, right? we were far apart, and everyone is so eager to experience the "college life" that society swears is worth it. She went through a complete transformation from the shy, tender and loving girl to the drunk, care-free, college artist. She fucked some random jock, TOLD me about it, and thought it was okay. She even encouraged me to do the same so "we know what it's like to be with other people, and were sure were good for each other." or some shit like that. I didn't buy it, so I broke up with her. We talked and talked and finally ended communication. It's been around 12 weeks and I think about her every single day. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a few, private tears.  

I play music, and I was writing a song for her for a very long time. I finally finished it, and I was going to send it to her, along with a sincere letter thanking her for the good times we spent, for all the support she gave me, and asking for forgiveness for all the past wrongs I did her. Basically, an end-all-be-all letter of summary, saying goodbye and thank you, and leaving her with a piece of music that I poured my heart and soul into. I would express everything honorably, and I feel it'd give me closure. 

Solutions: I've been making lots of life changes because of how intense the experience of losing her was to me. I wake up at 5:30am daily and swim/lift everyday before work or class. I read, and I've taken up Art of Manliness' 31-day journal challenge. I started lots of small habits of good hygiene, random acts of kindness, dropping old habits and addictions, and doing a life makeover. All of it helps, I feel like I'm slowly growing in to a man of integrity and discipline, but I'm still haunted by thoughts of her, and regrets and doubts of the relationship. 

Question: So men, my questions are: Should I send that song/letter? I don't know where she is at emotionally or mentally, so would it even impact her? Is that selfish of me? I miss (the old) her so bad, what the fuck do I do? What makes the heart-break go away? I feel the need to 1UP her, financially and success-wise, why? From what I can tell she's doing better with out me, does she even miss me? How do I get over her? 

I know I sound like a whiny little bitch about this, but I'd rather dump this on the internet than further bug my friends and family. People seem to belittle it, saying I'm young, inexperienced and naive. True, but this was real, everything I've stated is my truth. Even if I don't get a single reply, It's helped a lot to be able to vent it. 

Thanks so much for taking time to read and reply, any responses or advice will be greatly appreciated. 

Views: 1211

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I added a reply to this without reading your update on progress. Your story literally described mine almost to a t. 

That's awesome to hear that by following everyone's advice here, you are now doing well for yourself. Trust me, success is the best revenge like Nate said! 

Keep at it man! 

RSS

Latest Activity

Taz updated their profile
18 minutes ago
Shane replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"At least I'm acknowledging them instead of pointing to words on a printed page, provided without context, and demanding my interpretation be accepted without question, investigation, or independent thought. Who was Moses' father-in-law?"
20 minutes ago
Liam Strain replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"Anyone who thinks that subtleties of verbal tone, which are by no means cut and dry, especially in an informal telephone recording makes the case a slam dunk for your interpretation - needs to reconsider how their own bias might be at play. "
59 minutes ago
Sir replied to Sir's discussion Polarization, "violent rhetoric" in the group The Great Debate
"Another overreach and rejection of it (overreach by the dude, rejection by the Dem. Party): http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/06/23/caught-on-tape-dem-official-says-hes-glad-scalise-got-shot.html Some walked back, not sure if…"
1 hour ago
Shane replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"You forgot the emoji ":/". For someone so concerned with Trump's tone, you're sure ignoring it here. Anyone who thinks that was an endorsement deserves mocking, and nothing more."
1 hour ago
Liam Strain replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
""Yeah, I guess so - I wish the first time it was done better.""
2 hours ago
Shane replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"So you didn't listen to the interview. Got it."
2 hours ago
Jay D replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"Stop making shit up. The link above provides the sound piece. Also what is about all the other lies he told? Are you fine with your president being a liar or do you just pretend none of it is a lie?"
2 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service