Here is the situation, gentleman and ladies:

               Tonight, I am being initiated as a DeMolay (a junior Freemason). Up until today, my mother has been supportive of my desire to join this fraternity, but has suddenly begun to accuse me of being sexist for wanting to join. When I pointed out that there are many sororities that I could not join if I wished to, she then stated that no sorority can match the networking that takes place amongst Freemasons, and restated that I am sexist for wanting to join. It would be very helpful if some of you could contribute your perspective, the whole situation is quite confusing.

Views: 191

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Read Brett's article on telling your mother to basically shove it. It ain't easy, but it is something every man needs to do at one point in his life.

There's no way around the career issues. Women's clubs and sororities are not equivalent to men's, and you should drop that argument.

State one more time the reasons you want to join, then refuse to discuss it further.

Tell her that:

1. Being in the Demolay is not like being a Freemason. You're not one of us until you're one of us. As a very active and long standing Freemason, I can assure you, that being in the Demolay does NOT make you a Freemason.

2. Being in the Demolay will not entitle you to anything. There are absolutely zero educational or professional opportunities to be afforded to you that you would not have otherwise been afforded just for being in the Demolay. 

3. It is a relatively small organization that hardly anyone outside of it or the Masonic lodge has ever heard of. 

4. Jobs Daughters and Rainbow girls, which nationwide, is relatively equal in size and membership to the Demolay, if not actually a bit larger.

5. Believe me, one of the most overrated and overhyped aspects of being a freemason, is the supposed networking. Don't tell yourself when you're 18 or 21 that if you join the Masonic Lodge, you're suddenly going to find a job or promotions. About the best you're ever going to experience is most likely, getting out of a seat belt ticket once or thrice in your life because the patrolman who pulled you over was a brother. Honestly, that is about as good as it gets in modern times. 

 On the other hand, since you are joining tonight and will already be a member by the time you read this, one of the best things you really can do is simply never mention it again.

The beauty of a secret society is that it is secret, right?  Mom doesn't need to be involved in this.  Don't lie about it, but don't talk about it.

BINGO!

The most Mom or anybody else needs to know, is if you're heading to a lodge meeting.

Sounds like someone has her information about the Freemasons from the Simpsons  "Stonecutters" episode.

The easiest and nicest way is to hear the opinions and not discuss them. Not to justify, argue, or convince, but put up a wall of "nice."

Agree when you can, always be polite, and never explain.  Never bring it up.  Use phrases like "I'm sure you're right" and "That's an idea" and "OK," without actually agreeing to do anything differently.

This is a distancing move, but when someone's forcing her opinions on you, distance is appropriate.  

You don't state your age.  She may be able to lay down the law.  I think I'd assume until she does that she hasn't.

RSS

Latest Activity

Nick the Clever replied to Rob Gronkowski's discussion Has anyone struggled with depression beforeIt
"Hey Rob, I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, probably since my junior high years. I was very smart, but I couldn't concentrate in school, so I was always in trouble with my highly academic parents and with my teachers.…"
48 minutes ago
Nick the Clever replied to Jack Bauer's discussion Investing in a Family Business?
"First of all, and most importantly.. Make sure that she understands that this is NOT a handout, and that you are investing. Never "lend" money to a family member or friend and expect to get it back. If you decide to go for a larger…"
1 hour ago
Daniel Rodriguez replied to Steve Dallas's discussion Am I a sexist? in the group The Great Debate
"I don't see how this can be interpreted as sexist, so no?"
2 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Steve Dallas's discussion Am I a sexist? in the group The Great Debate
"Amen."
2 hours ago
The Eyeball Kid replied to Rob Gronkowski's discussion Has anyone struggled with depression beforeIt
"Yea, you'll want insurance for the meds.  My meds would cost $270 if I didn't have insurance.  But yeah if you do make the plunge, just remember to take the meds like every 24 hours on or as close to the dot as possible."
2 hours ago
Steve Dallas replied to Steve Dallas's discussion Am I a sexist? in the group The Great Debate
"Yes, I'm watching Ghostbusters and drinking bourbon"
2 hours ago
Steve Dallas added a discussion to the group The Great Debate
Thumbnail

Am I a sexist?

So I am all for equal pay, I am all for equal opportunities, I don't like discrimination, but honestly, seriously, I have no desire to watch an all female cast of Ghostbusters nor do I get the reason to even go out of the way to even make it that way.Without the guys, it isn't Ghostbusters.See More
2 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Rob Gronkowski's discussion Has anyone struggled with depression beforeIt
"I think by biochemical he meant a chemical imbalance."
3 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service