Here is the situation, gentleman and ladies:

               Tonight, I am being initiated as a DeMolay (a junior Freemason). Up until today, my mother has been supportive of my desire to join this fraternity, but has suddenly begun to accuse me of being sexist for wanting to join. When I pointed out that there are many sororities that I could not join if I wished to, she then stated that no sorority can match the networking that takes place amongst Freemasons, and restated that I am sexist for wanting to join. It would be very helpful if some of you could contribute your perspective, the whole situation is quite confusing.

Views: 214

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Read Brett's article on telling your mother to basically shove it. It ain't easy, but it is something every man needs to do at one point in his life.

There's no way around the career issues. Women's clubs and sororities are not equivalent to men's, and you should drop that argument.

State one more time the reasons you want to join, then refuse to discuss it further.

Tell her that:

1. Being in the Demolay is not like being a Freemason. You're not one of us until you're one of us. As a very active and long standing Freemason, I can assure you, that being in the Demolay does NOT make you a Freemason.

2. Being in the Demolay will not entitle you to anything. There are absolutely zero educational or professional opportunities to be afforded to you that you would not have otherwise been afforded just for being in the Demolay. 

3. It is a relatively small organization that hardly anyone outside of it or the Masonic lodge has ever heard of. 

4. Jobs Daughters and Rainbow girls, which nationwide, is relatively equal in size and membership to the Demolay, if not actually a bit larger.

5. Believe me, one of the most overrated and overhyped aspects of being a freemason, is the supposed networking. Don't tell yourself when you're 18 or 21 that if you join the Masonic Lodge, you're suddenly going to find a job or promotions. About the best you're ever going to experience is most likely, getting out of a seat belt ticket once or thrice in your life because the patrolman who pulled you over was a brother. Honestly, that is about as good as it gets in modern times. 

 On the other hand, since you are joining tonight and will already be a member by the time you read this, one of the best things you really can do is simply never mention it again.

The beauty of a secret society is that it is secret, right?  Mom doesn't need to be involved in this.  Don't lie about it, but don't talk about it.

BINGO!

The most Mom or anybody else needs to know, is if you're heading to a lodge meeting.

Sounds like someone has her information about the Freemasons from the Simpsons  "Stonecutters" episode.

The easiest and nicest way is to hear the opinions and not discuss them. Not to justify, argue, or convince, but put up a wall of "nice."

Agree when you can, always be polite, and never explain.  Never bring it up.  Use phrases like "I'm sure you're right" and "That's an idea" and "OK," without actually agreeing to do anything differently.

This is a distancing move, but when someone's forcing her opinions on you, distance is appropriate.  

You don't state your age.  She may be able to lay down the law.  I think I'd assume until she does that she hasn't.

RSS

Latest Activity

jazzgirl205 replied to Persona non Grata's discussion Men who whine about women?
"I hear this from both women and men.  The problem is not in their stars, dear Brutus, but in themselves.  These whiners are usually not attracted to decent human beings.  They always seem to be drawn to troubled people. …"
1 hour ago
Kevin Morris replied to David R.'s discussion Answered prayers in the group Christian Men
"Good analysis David.  There have been times when I have thought how wonderful it was that God said "no" to something.  He cares for each of us and we have to entrust that He knows what is best.  We may not understand why…"
2 hours ago
David R. added a discussion to the group Christian Men
Thumbnail

Answered prayers

We frequently hear stories of how an extremely important need was "saved" after prayer, such asShe was near death but we prayed for her and she lived.Our marriage almost fell apart but we prayed and God saved our marriage.My job was nearing being taken from me but we prayed and God saved my job.But if we think of God as a Father, any parent does not always say, "Yes" when a request is made.  Sometimes a parent says, "No," and sometimes a parent says, "Not now," and sometimes a parent says,…See More
2 hours ago
David R. joined Tookie's group
Thumbnail

Christian Men

Regardless of the specifics, we can all agree on one thing. Jesus Christ was the perfect Man who died and rose again for us such that we could have fellowship with Him
2 hours ago
Shane replied to Robin Holmström's discussion Tarzan flick as date?
"I used to live where we still had party lines. Not only would I be calling her whole house, but also two or three of her neighbor's houses as well."
5 hours ago
Jack Bauer replied to Pale Horse's discussion The Nature of Life and Conception in the group The Great Debate
"For what it's worth, God gave us the ability to figure out how to do all kinds of things that are wrong.  That we discovered the ability to do it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't "automatically wrong". To answer the…"
5 hours ago
Robin Holmström replied to Robin Holmström's discussion Tarzan flick as date?
"I was hoping she did but no. I don't even think it should matter, it's still me asking her out no matter how I do it. Wish I could've known. So there's 0 chance now? Calling her after getting a no through text probably won't…"
6 hours ago
Steve Dallas replied to Pale Horse's discussion The Nature of Life and Conception in the group The Great Debate
"Sounds like you and your dad need to listen to your Johnny Cash singing about his Cadillac My view on the whole thing though is that if God gave us the ability to figure this stuff out, then it can't automatically be wrong. For a discussion…"
6 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service