"You may not be single but do you live with this woman or is she just a girlfriend? There is a big difference and yes it affects your points because its the difference between talking from experience as Jack is and talking through your ass.
Also,…"
A confusing girl
So I started hanging out with this girl about 3 weeks ago. Everything was going really well. We texted all the time, had a great rapport, went on about 3 "official" dates, ie. drinks, dinner, movie, and we met out a bunch of other times with some friends for drinks, as well (we share a similar group of friends). She introduced me to all her friends and they all seemed to like me, and I even met her family last week at their house for dinner. It was getting to the point where we would even do the "couple" thing and kiss each other goodnight every time we said goodbye. The topic of us dating or becoming "official" come up a few times briefly, but we really didn't discuss it too much. I
Then, all of last week it started to become different. She seemed somewhat standoff-ish, she barely texted me at all, and we didn't hang out once. When I asked her if she wanted to hang out this next week, she said she has plans "but she would let me know".
I know this all sounds petty and stupid, but it just seems like everything took a complete 180. I've never been with a girl where things went to so well and then just seemed to completely drop off. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into this. The only thing I could think of is that because we have a similar group of friends, that everyone started talking and saying "so and so are dating", and maybe she became annoyed at that because we weren't actually dating yet.
So I guess I am asking this:
1.) Am I reading too much into all of this?
2.) If she doesn't respond at all this week, should I ask her again next week if she wants to meet out for drinks/dinner, or is that going to look too desperate?
Also...I'm 25 years old, so this isn't some typical 2 week grade school hookup I'm talking about here. I always get great advice on here, so I look forward to any comments/advice I can get.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Nathanael on -
I don't think that you're reading too much into it. From your account she's pretty much cut you off. She's not communicating and is putting you off. Something happened. What exactly, I don't know, but it doesn't bode well for you that she's not offering anything by way of explanation.
I suggest calling her up and asking he what's going on. Tell her that you thought things were going well but that she seems to be trying to keep you at arm's length all of a sudden. Ask her why. If she tries to put you off with vague comments, you'll have your answer (she's not into you anymore) even if you don't have a reason. If she gives a reason, then you'll know and be able to stop wondering, and there's a chance that it is something that could be overcome if you want to become a couple. That's an outside chance though, so don't get your hopes up too much.
Don't wait another week though, call her quickly and get it over with.
-
Permalink Reply by Justin Wollmann on -
Had the same thing happen to me. I just walked away. We haven't talked since, and she's now dating someone else. It's not worth touching.
-
Permalink Reply by NYGayBear on
-
Move on bobcat. So, lets say, for argument sake, you get her to respond and actually discuss with you what is going on..........all you have then is an understanding........she still made the decisions she has made- which seem pretty shitty. So why invest the time in someone who ultimately is immature and possibly more concerned about what others think than concern for you. There are more fish in the sea..............your 25, dont put up with the highschool silliness.
-
Permalink Reply by Justin Wollmann on
-
I had a girl that I chased on and off for a whole year, and let me tell you, every encounter was fucking bait and hook. We'd go out, give me the impression she cares, than we'd stop talking (not my intention) and then a few months later repeat. After the third time, I gave up and moved on. Haven't had a women get away with that shit since.
Just another example for you. I think a lot of women do not know what they want, or they find someone else and don't feel like making that information known to us. Either way, it's shitty.
-
Permalink Reply by Shane on -
There's a few possible answers:
1) She viewed it more casually than you did and is now doing something else and doesn't quite understand what you're on about.
2) She was testing it out with you and decided you weren't for her and is too immature to tell you straight up.
3) She is actually that into you and something personal came up that she's not comfortable discussing with you while you're still new.
4) She was into you, but you did something unwitting to screw it up and now she doesn't know how to deal.
5) Something set off her creeper alarm and she doesn't know what to do and you trying to make contact doesn't help the situation.
To answer your questions: No. Don't do that.
For advice, go with what Nathanael offered.
-
Permalink Reply by Daniel Gaston on -
Always good advice Shane. I think you've become my go-to Guru when it comes to advice with the Ladies.
-
Permalink Reply by Pat Kelly on -
We texted all the time
I agree with Nathanael. Also, texting is okay but I think you should limit your use of this, unless you want to become her cyber boyfriend.
Best of luck. Keep your options open too.
-
Permalink Reply by Daniel Gaston on
-
It's a new world. Many people in the early 30's and under crowd text far more than they talk on the phone just because many of us really just don't particularly like talking on the phone. Face-to-face communication is obviously preferred, at least by me, but everyone is different. You can get a feel for these things pretty quickly.
-
Permalink Reply by Pat Kelly on
-
My advice for Ryan is this: limit the amount of time you text the girl you are interested in, make it your mission to be direct, use confident language and limit the amount of texting you do - especially in the early stages of a relationship. It is always best to make real meaningful connections in person.
-
Permalink Reply by LShieldes on
-
My first guess? You are 25 years old, you should have made a serious move as soon as possible, or stopped being her almost boyfriend.
As Shane said, she was either really wanting you to make that move or she suddenly realized how close yall got. Either way, like I said, you are 25, enough with the hanging out and make a move. This isn't HS nor is it college anymore.
-
Permalink Reply by Scott Omega on -
she is not into you, chances are she never was so move on. You will meet other girls who show similar red flags, and they are not worth your time .
Latest Activity
Nick H replied to Matthew L Weiss's discussion Sorry Doesn't Cut It"Don't forget Marion Morrison's raging alcoholism. Wish I had a career where if I became a drunk they'd simply move my work to the morning before I had time to drink myself into oblivion. I love the Duke's movies and Clint's…"
Chuck Knight commented on Leif Gunnar Selberg's blog post should I help younger brother become smoker?"He obviously equates smoking with maturity, and sees tobacco as his rite-of-passage. And he's emulating his male role models.
As an addict, you personally know the pleasures AND the pitfalls of smoking. If he is choosing to…"
Silviu Ilyevich Tulbya replied to Silviu Ilyevich Tulbya's discussion My Twenties"Getting to know your classmates is a great idea, and so is finding a professor with a research project. I never thought of that second one!
I appreciate the advice and examples. You've been really helpful!"
Silviu Ilyevich Tulbya replied to Silviu Ilyevich Tulbya's discussion My Twenties"Thanks for the post and the examples, Nick. You were right in pointing out that it's no use comparing one's self to others. And I like your father's saying.
"
Dallas the Phallus replied to Allen's discussion Identity limbo"All I can say is that any man whose identity and self worth is shaped by cartoon characters and TV sitcoms bloody well gets what he deserves. "
Jack Bauer replied to Matthew L Weiss's discussion Sorry Doesn't Cut It"Probably a good idea ... if your wife has the mind of a 5-year-old. Are these wives really too dumb to figure there are risks associated with coal mining or warfighting? Any soldier that hasn't discussed with his wife the…"
Luxinator replied to Allen's discussion Identity limbo"Well said about the absence of high heels on the necks of men.
Its more about a gentlemanly stepping aside, and in a liberal spirit men in previous generations have allowed the women to place their high heels on their necks. It was a manly…"
© 2013 Created by Brett McKay.
Powered by
