It is my belief that a primal part of being a boy is displayed in the school yard fight of yesteryear. This is essential. It establishes a pecking order- not everyone is the alpha male. It lets boys fight, get it out and then more times then not go on to be friends. They learn that you can't win 'em all and that there is always someone out there bigger or better than you.
In these days of lawsuits, liability and political correctness, a school yard fight can result in financial loss to the parents and well as charges against the minor. Boys are keeping their primal urges bottled up and it's resulting in depression, suicide, and events like Columbine.
Is this just something that I've noticed? What say you gentlemen?
I believe it contributes to those problems in our society. Replacing a good male role model in a boys life with feminist day care workers, teachers, and single mothers doesn't give a boy a whole lot of opportunity to learn about being a man. Nature plays a rough role in growing into manhood, as most all of us can attest. Bottling up natural masculine propensities causes us to exhibit a host of interesting behaviors. My (ex)wife used to notice when I was getting grumpy and feeling like a pent up animal and she would tell me to go shooting with the guys or go to the gym. When I accepted her admonition I always felt better, more relaxed. I can't imagine what I would be like today if I wasn't allowed to be a boy when I was younger.
I largely agree. But we need to be able to intervene when it goes to far.
My boys will be involved in at least some degree of martial arts training, as well as attending a quality, Christian based private school. As well as, having the same mailing address as their father.
Ya'll are talking about two aspects of the same thing.
Topher...think about this. Bullies are boys that are flat mean. Let them loose on boys that have had their "guydom" suppressed, and it's gonna cause something like Columbine. A normal boy will eventually stand and fight. I was 22 before I first stood for myself like that. I grew up in my mother's household for most of my life, and she was not a friend to men. She dated some, but never remarried. I was kind of fucked up until much later in my life, as a result.
So I'm 22, working at a steel mill (1999-2000). One of the boys I went to high school with worked there, and had been giving me hell for 6 months, and one night had me so angry I was shaking. Circumstances conspired that one of the boys set it up for us to meet after work behind the showers. We brawled. He was 320 lbs, I was MAYBE 160. I didn't care, I was on him.
He pushes me off onetime, and asks why I'm doing this, and I told him I'm tired of you fucking with me, and callling me stupid...so he says "But you ARE stupid!" Chris Harry, describing it next day said it was like watching Muhammad Ali...by the time he finished the sentence, I was back on top of him.
I have never felt as good as I did that night, except on RARE occasions.
I know what you mean, Joseph. When I was in ninth grade, a guy (who was in my class but played varsity linebacker) kept smacking me in the face. I jumped up and beat the living crap out of him. One of the best moments of my life.
If you look in nature, there is always a pecking order. Just watch Animal Planet for an hour. In our effort to become more civilized we have quickly forgotten this. We let every kid who tries out on the team, so that they no longer have to put forth their best in order to achieve.
As for the bully, he must find out that he's not so tuff. Actually, he already knows this inside. That's why he picks on people that he thinks are weaker than him. But he needs to be exposed for this
I thought the Columbine boys were just young psychopaths that were mentally and physically inferior and knew it so they picked up guns and shot little girls to make themselves feel better about how pathetic they themselves were. It had nothing to do with their chance to fairly beat or get beaten. They were pathetic psychos that worshipped death. Even when I was getting my ass beaten every other day I never thought to go and shoot girls in the library for it. I would get depressed about attending schools that fell under prison rules, not that I never got to fight. Suicides kill themselves for their own reasons many which we will never know the truth of, and I highly doubt any of has to do with not getting your chance to fight someone. Fighting in my schools did its best to make me lean towards being a violent knucklehead. If you want to do this pecking order thing thats what we have sports for, we have the proper venue for that already.
"For me it is simple, i slowly descent into madness, while trying to change it. I also try to spin it in a way that it is just another challenge. If i can manage to get things done in such bureaucratic mess, i will be able to move mountains.
"If you don't believe in the mission or the plan, the workable options are to change it, swim against it, or go elsewhere. Or, like some have said, you can simply suffer it ... though I don't find that a terribly palatable…"
"Commiserating tends to make things worse, not better. Probably better to avoid those people like the plague. Better yet if the place were functional enough to fire them. Too many businesses are held hostage by talented employees…"
"Sometimes learning the why something is done helps. Assuming the answer is not because we always did it this way.
Remembering to put it in its place, you are not the work you do.
Taking a walk when you are frazzled.
Switching topics for…"
"I would never do it as I personally consider it vain and therefore unmanly.
I would, in good nature, give a friend shit for it. Because that is what friends are for.
I would not however hold it against someones character.
But full disclosure.…"
"I try to keep in mind my place. As a contractor or as an employee, I try to remind myself that I'm a screwdriver in their drawer that they've paid for - and that they would really rather not even have to have the screwdriver. So my role…"